Category Archives: Self Analysis

Stuff I Did This Year

(Previously & previouslier.)

I missed most of 2007.

It started excellently, and ended okay. Adventures were had, things were discovered; it was not a total dead loss. But overall it will not be remembered as a banner year on Planet Teigan.

This year, amongst assorted other things (see archives), I:

  • Misguidedly started a BA at Melbourne Uni for the second time, and then dropped out after a month for the second time.
  • Got kinda down.
  • Just about survived winter without going totally insane or throwing myself under a train.
  • Gradually got better.
  • Got totally ditched, in my absence, by the artist formerly known as Lady J after an extremely Significant & Intense 18-month relationship.
  • Spent approximately 680 hours conducting telephone-based social research for money. (The weirdness, the horror, the tedium etc). (Also: The doodling.)
  • Somewhat overambitiously applied & was interviewed for a BFA at one of the premier art schools in the country, despite having basically no traditional visual art-type skills or talent at all. Was not accepted.
  • Spent what probably cumulatively amounts to several months on Facebook.
  • Drank quite a lot.
  • Various other things which are none of your damn business. Who the hell are you, anyway? Who are you really? etc

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Filed under Art, Drunkenness, F***book, Failure, History, Illusion Of Time, Life, People, Self Analysis, Work

It’s Easy To Lose Perspective Sometimes And To Imagine That One Is A Worthless Pile Of Shit

One shouldn’t, though.

Coz one Is Really Good at What One Does.

And What One Does is totally Worth Doing.

Really is.

[long pause]

I like these moments.

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Filed under Art, Self Analysis, Victory, w0ot

Personality Test Redux

(Previously.)

Personality test results

Post personality test beers with Henley

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Filed under Art, Audio, Drunkenness, Evil, Heh, People, Photos, Self Analysis, silly humans *rolls eyes* etc

This Month Has Been Totally Surreal

It’s certainly been interesting.

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It’s All About The Early Mornings At The Moment

“On Monday morning, Paxton was woken at five from a claustrophobic, anxious sleep by the weight of his worry. After disentangling himself from the sweaty unwelcome embrace of his patchwork quilt, he padded over to his bedroom window and pressed his nose forlornly against the glass. The sky was clear and dark and sparkling – there was, as yet, no sign of the sun.”

Jo (who I won’t link coz she hasn’t updated since March; maybe it’s just me, but I think her blog’s dead) told me the other week that my posts had become very cryptic this year.

I knew what she meant. But at the same time I was kind of bemused.

My posts have always been very cryptic. Sometimes they’ve been so cryptic that I didn’t even get them properly myself until ages afterwards.

This one here is a perfect example. I’m really not at all sure why I’m writing this – but I just know I’ll look at it in four months time, or in 2012, or whenever, and go “Ah, I see!! Ingenious, Teigs.”

Brains are funny.

Braaaiins.

I – which is to say, a close personal friend of mine – keeps getting sent zombie invitations on Facebook.

I don’t know what that’s about either.

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The Coffee & Cigarette I Had At Atomica Yesterday Morning

Contemplates future, etc

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It’s My Blog And I’ll Break My Own Self-Imposed Vow Of Silence Occasionally If I Want To

I blame you, Carfax. Just let it lie, whycantcha?

Anyway.

I recently had cause to send someone a link to my Neurocam Perception Assessment. It is two years old this month.

Rereading it was quite the life-is-strange moment. Many syncronicities and other peculiarities emerged. I even bag out Vanstone in it at one point. Actually, that’s not particularly strange. But the whole thing was funny.

Life is funny. Time flies. Other cliches.

That’s all, I guess.

But on a related note: since, surprisingly, no one else has picked this one up (as far as I’m aware) I suppose it falls to me to ask – does this dastardly unidentified voyeuristic spycam shoe bandit sound suspiciously like anyone we know?

And with that I must away, dear readers, for now I have an important date with the Green Faerie Jellybean.

Good evening.

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Filed under Current Affairs, History, Illusion Of Time, Life, Neurocam, People, Self Analysis

Stuff I Did This Year

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Filed under Art, Here Is The News, History, Life, NaNoWriMo, Neurocam, Self Analysis, Travel, Weblogs, Work

If You’re Happy And You Know It

Or alternately, if you’re miserable and you know it – and it’s just no good at all

CLAP. YOUR. HANDS.

CLAP! CLAP!

If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really wanna show it,
If you’re happy and you know it… clap your hands!

CLAP! CLAP!

I feel better already.

Despite – he said, by way of explanation – the depressing fact that I have failed.

I am A Failure; one who has failed. That is What I Am.

CLAP! CLAP!

It’s the last day of November. And despite my best intentions, I have failed to write a 50,000-word novel.

I gave it a good old Aussie go, though. Really, truly did!

But I didn’t write 50,000 words – and I didn’t finish it. And it’s dead now. It doesn’t want to be worked on any more. It has become a stinky moribund dead project that pains me and makes me annoyed at myself. And it’s bad when you annoy yourself.

Winces, girds loins, drives a stake through its beloved heart.

It’s dead. RIP, first attempt at writing a novel.

The silver lining is, I’m actually well pleased with the 37,566 words I did write. They came out great.

CLAP! CLAP!

Which was really the problem. They were too good. Consequently, somewhere along the line, I forgot to not take myself seriously. Which is the whole big-thing point of NaNoWriMo. You can write a stupid 50,000 word novel in a month. But unless you are a bona fide literary genius, you can’t write a good one. Forget about it.

I’m tempted to quote Alanis Morrisette at this juncture. But for everyone’s sake, I shall abstain.

The point is: I’m, like, trying to be philosophical and shit. I feel pain now, but I know the venture was far from a dead loss. In the end, I got more out of it than I would have if I hadn’t undertaken it. And in any case, I’ve lost nothing. Just a ride. Etcetera.

CLAP! CLAP!

In other shittiness news, nobody but a handful of stalwarts – it seems – can come to our party.

Again, I don’t feel too bad about it. It’s getting towards That Time Of Year; everybody has lots of prior engagements. A bunch of people came to the last one – and most if not all appeared to genuinely have a good time. So it’s not like this is a sign that all our friends secretly hate our guts, or think our parties suck.

CLAP! CLAP!

Finally, congratulations are in order to Mr Tripto Deluxe, who jumped on board my NaNo bandwagon and then kicked my ass right off the damn thing by actually finishing his book.

Kudos to you, my friend. Kudos to you. No, I wouldn’t come to my party either. You have better things to do. Course you do. We’re not really going to kill you. That was totally, like, an empty threat. Course it was.

Love your work.

CLAP! CLAP!

Oh, man – that’s the shit, right there.

CLAP! CLAP!

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

CLAP! CLAP!

Excuse me, I have to be alone with my hands for a while.

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Filed under Art, Benevolence, Damage Control, Failure, NaNoWriMo, People, Philosophica, Self Analysis, some do it fast, some do it better in smaller amounts, Weblogs

Man, I Just, Like, Voted

I wasn’t planning to originally, but Semi talked me into it on the grounds that the Greens will likely take some seats away from serious politicians, which is always a good cause. I hope he is having fun at Earthcore. I imagine that he is.

I just voted for the Greens whilst tripping on leftover cactus, partly in his honor. I’m sure Bob Brown (with whom I once shared a taxi, whilst dressed as a giant koala – i’m sure it wasn’t just a dream) would not disapprove. I tried to imagine what John Howard would feel. I tried to imagine him feeling pain in some way. How I tried. But all I could see was him going “stupid hippies; ah well, *shrugs*, they will all self-destruct soon enough anyway”, and not understanding at all. Which kind of pissed me off, but did at least make me feel like, in some obscure way, I had not done entirely the wrong thing.

Now I am trying to decide whether to watch The Dark Crystal again. I fell asleep before the end last time.

~ has suggested to me that the girl Gelfling ultimately dies; but I feel sure that this cannot be the whole truth. Henson and Oz would not do that to me. They would not dare.

I will watch their silly movie, in any case. They can bring it. Doesn’t matter if the chick dies; the whole healed-crystal thing redundifies such petty concerns.

Yes, it does.

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Life Is Good

nb clever peripheral utilization may or may not reveal secret hidden messages

Have a good look at yourself.! courtesy of Souvlaki King. No charge - real decent of them

Best steak sanger in Melbourne to boot, reckons Els; good to be seeing her back again

Faux-Red Bull Coke Zero I felt strangely compelled to buy

Steve Cronin sent this to me; he's basically good, I like him

In retrospect, some obscure shoutout significance may be read into the uncharacteristic choice of variety, but sometimes a pizza is just a pizza. Everybody basically understands pizza

Life is good.

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Filed under Art, Benevolence, Current Affairs, Damage Control, Dreams, Drugs, Food, Genius, Heh, Illusion Of Time, Life, Life Is Good, Movies, Music, Night Time, Photos, Self Analysis, w0ot

I Can’t Believe I Went Out Last Night

On the evening before my nite of nites, heh. But hey, I’m young (20), I can get away with that kind of thing.

Anyway. I got tagged with this ages ago. Generally I disregard such things but I actually saved this, against such a time as I would be able to do it.

That time is now.

What’s On Your iPod?

4420 songs (12.4 days, 20.3 GB)
5 videos (28:24 minutes, 248 MB)
0 photos (0 MB)

Sorted by artist
First artist: The 5,6,7,8s
Last artist: Zamfir
(both tracks from the Kill Bill Vol 1 soundtrack, funnily enough)

Sorted by song title
First Song: ‘Cello Song by Nick Drake
Last Song: Zyclon B. Zombie by Throbbing Gristle

Sorted by time
Shortest Song: 0:04, Harmonic Necklace by Penguin Cafe Orchestra
Longest Song: 31:31, All Apologies by Nirvana

Sorted by album
First Album: 13 by Blur
Last Album: Young Team by Mogwai

How many hits when you search for “sex”? 39
How many hits when you search for “death”? 19
How many hits when you search for “love”? 264
How many hits when you search for “angel”? 60
(more than sex & death combined, which is also funny)

How many playlists?
None as yet.

First ten songs that come up on shuffle
1. Singing The Blues by Tricky
2. Good Feeling by Violent Femmes
3. I Am The Resurrection by The Stone Roses
4. Sundrops by Kristin Hersh
5. Fait Accompli by Curve
6. Flying Dutchman by Tori Amos
7. Who Needs The Peace Corps by Frank Zappa
8. Electronic Renaissance by Belle & Sebastian
9. Drive You Home by Garbage
10. A Letter To Elise (Blue Mix) by The Cure

Ten most played songs
(nb these stats are inherited from iTunes and reflect a three-year legacy)
1. Katrina by Killing Heidi (194 plays)
2. The Reflecting God by Marilyn Manson (176 plays)
3. Queer by Garbage (154 plays)
4. Playboy Mommy by Tori Amos (148 plays)
5. For My Lover by Tracy Chapman (124 plays)
6. Watch Your Back by Avant Garde (117 plays)
7. Someday I’ll Find You by Craig Armstrong & The London Symphony Orchestra feat. Shola Ama (112 plays)
8. A Sorta Fairytale by Tori Amos (98 plays)
9. Bad Ambassador by The Divine Comedy (84 plays)
10. I’m With You by Avril Lavigne (79 plays)

I tag LJ (and anyone else reading this with a blog and a proper motherfucking iPod).

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Filed under Music, Self Analysis, w0ot

My Skin Looks Really Cruddy At The Moment

Cruddy-looking skin

This is why you shouldn’t smoke, kids. Or grow old.

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Toenails.

Continuing the theme.

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages.

Virginal left foot

Wielding brush

Application (1)

Application (2)

Left foot drying

Further Drying

Finished

In action

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Retarded Right Thumbnail

As requested.

Thumbnail 1

Thumbnail 2

Thumbnail 3

See also.

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