Announcement: I Am Going To Drop Out Of Uni Again (Probably)

It’s All Wrong. All Wrong. Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t know.

I thought about killing myself, seeing as how I clearly totally suck at life, etc. But for better or worse, I like it too much. Life, I mean. It’s too full of beauty and illusions. I’d miss it.

Does anyone want to give me a job? I already have two, but they don’t pay me enough and neither of them are really utilizing my core skills to their optimal potential.

Here is a list of some of my skills:

– Disumbration and applied discombobulation
– Blogging in words, pictures and sound
– Writing kickass manifestos for secret organizations dedicated to altering the perceptions of their participants
– Creating imaginary bands
– Daydreaming
– Smoking cigarettes & drinking coffee
– Talking & writing copious amounts of shit
– Reclusive otherworldliness
– Insufferable arrogance & narcissism
– Getting disproportionately stressed out under pressure, then having big cathartic meltdowns; general flakiness & dysfunctionality etc
– Very persistently not killing self despite patently sucking at life
– Morbid self-pity
– Making lists
– Can tie own shoelaces, more or less
– I change a mean lightbulb

In addition to the above, I possess Artistic Vision ™ and a GSOH. I have seen through the illusion of the world. But I believe in love. Most of the time. I also hold a valid learner driver’s permit.

In summary: I am good. I would definitely give me creative, stimulating and lucrative employment if I were you.

UPDATE: But maybe I shouldn’t. ~ thinks I should stick with it. I just DO NOT FUCKING KNOW AT ALL.

Thing is, see, I was going to do Creative Arts. Despite the presence of subjects like Creative Writing (as in “we will teach you how to do Creative Writing”) it seemed a better and more purposeful bet than just plain vanilla Arts. But the School of Creative Arts is, it transpired, being phased out. No more Creative Arts.

I do not fucking know.

capercale, lamergeyer, cassowary etc

UPDATE II: If only the world would play ball and recognise my genius, none of this angst would be necessary. I blame the world. There seems to be something wrong with it; maybe it’s broken.

(Actually, just between you and me, it isn’t even real anyway. Trust me, I’m a disumbrationist. I know what I’m talking about.)


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8 Responses to Announcement: I Am Going To Drop Out Of Uni Again (Probably)

  1. AG

    “Talking & writing copious amounts of shit

    Insufferable arrogance & narcissism

    Making lists”
    Have you considered running for parliament?
    I need a good candidate to vote for, for my first federal election where i can vote.
    “Can tie own shoelaces, more or less”
    Never mind. You’re apparently over-qualified

  2. Tira Misu

    *hugs* Dude.. don’t worry. You’re like one of the coolest dudes ever – you have nothing to spaz about, hun. ^^

  3. teigan

    Somehow I’d find this more consoling coming from someone other than the anonymous troll who told me my activites of last year amounted to “doing drugs and destroying stuff”.
    But if this is sincere and not just part of an insidious ongoing bid to systematically demoralize me, then thanks. I guess. Whoever the hell you are.

  4. >Can tie own shoelaces, more or less
    You should learn to tie your shoelaces with one hand, then people would find you really impressive and give you money for free.

  5. Yes, I’m very bad at showing love.

  6. wortwut

    I don’t find your arrogance and narcissism insufferable. 🙂 Wouldnae change a thing. Except I’d get you lots of free money. Also me.
    Why not go to a different school of neapolitan Arts?

  7. teigan

    The ‘Da:
    Yes, I’m very bad at showing love.
    You are; you completely suck. But that’s okay; I’ll accept genuinely useful advice such as yours in lieu of love. I can use either.
    The ‘Wut:
    Why not go to a different school of neapolitan Arts?
    Like an Art School, dy’mean?
    I’ve fantasized a lot about it. But it always seems a bit too radical a leap for real life. I would have to assemble some kind of portfolio. What the hell would that look like? I can’t draw, or paint or sculpt or design. I like taking photos but I’m not really a photographer. I like multimedia but I’m not a multimediographer in any conventionally recognised sense. Or am I? I’m not even really sure. Maybe I am. I like to think I am… but then I like to think a lot of things.
    I’m me me me I’m absolutely convinced that it’s all absolutely entirely about ME.
    So there’s that, I guess..

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