Category Archives: Neurocam

“WTF Is Neurocam?” Cast & Crew Screening

Sunday, 13th November.

WTF Is Neurocam?


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Filed under Art, Dreams, Enough With The Obsessive Retrospection Already, Evil, Genius, History, Movies, Neurocam, Perseverence, Photos, Pimpage, Relational Aesthetics, w0ot

Neurocam: The Movie

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Filed under Art, Dreams, Evil, Genius, Mentalism, Movies, Mysteries, Neurocam, Photos, Relational Aesthetics

With Jonathan Carfax at Prudence

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Filed under :), Art, History, Liable For Nothing, Neurocam, People, Photos

Entertaining Budini

Tuesday 2nd March.

With Budini at the Rochy


Filed under :), Audio, Books, Here Is The News, Movies, Neurocam, People, Photos, School

In Other News: Hell Freezes Over

(It’s okay – I’m just using him for my own shallow self-gratification Art.)


Filed under F***book, Here Is The News, History, Neurocam, People, Signs Of The Apocalypse

Here Is An Audio Version Of That Comment


Filed under Art, Audio, Evil, Hate, Heh, Neurocam

It’s My Blog And I’ll Break My Own Self-Imposed Vow Of Silence Occasionally If I Want To

I blame you, Carfax. Just let it lie, whycantcha?


I recently had cause to send someone a link to my Neurocam Perception Assessment. It is two years old this month.

Rereading it was quite the life-is-strange moment. Many syncronicities and other peculiarities emerged. I even bag out Vanstone in it at one point. Actually, that’s not particularly strange. But the whole thing was funny.

Life is funny. Time flies. Other cliches.

That’s all, I guess.

But on a related note: since, surprisingly, no one else has picked this one up (as far as I’m aware) I suppose it falls to me to ask – does this dastardly unidentified voyeuristic spycam shoe bandit sound suspiciously like anyone we know?

And with that I must away, dear readers, for now I have an important date with the Green Faerie Jellybean.

Good evening.


Filed under Current Affairs, History, Illusion Of Time, Life, Neurocam, People, Self Analysis

How To Become A Cult Leader

Adam already posted this, but because it’s genius and because I can see that you’re special, dear reader, I wanted to share it with you personally. In my opinion, you deserve no less.

No, there’s no need to thank me. You’re doing all the work. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. You’re special. You’re special. I love you. I love you. Kill your parents. Kill your teachers. Kill your so-called friends. Kill yourself. You don’t really exist anyway. Deep down you know it’s true. That is all.

(PS You’re special.)


Filed under Art, Evil, Genius, Neurocam, YouTube

Stuff I Did This Year


Filed under Art, Here Is The News, History, Life, NaNoWriMo, Neurocam, Self Analysis, Travel, Weblogs, Work

Holy Crap You’re A Cunt, Hely

Some day I will take enormous pleasure in watching you genuinely suffer, you worthless irredeemable piece of shit.

From: Stephen Cronin
Date: 15 October 2006 2:42:16 PM
To: Teigan
Subject: Re: how the hell do you write so well


I was eventually going to come out to you with the truth anyway. Who was I to deny the Great Robert Henley as such a lonely Operative. And when he offered me something that CH (you) couldn’t.. I took it.

Here is the official list of people that screwed you over (including myself.)

Robin Hely – gave orders and orchestrated everything
Midnight – played a dual identity role with you to screw you over, purposely tried to tick you off (by poor handling of admissions, etc.) in order to try and get you to quit.. RH’s idea actually lol)
Chris Titan – used Herbert Finch in an attempt to break you down
Steve Cronin – fed info to RH through convos with you & CH (you)
Adren – Called your Sister under orders of RH (That’s really all he did and was never really involved with any of the plotting. Adren was probably the most innocent one out of all of us.)

I don’t know why I just got into this.. I never planned to write about this when i started this e-mail.


Filed under Art, Evil, Misanthropy, Neurocam, Night Time, People, Whack

Ambitions, Revisited

Last July I posted a list of ambitions.

Time for a review.

  1. To work in a streetcorner newsbooth.
  2. Partly a joke – but I’d still quite like to do this. I suspect they’re basically owner-operator kind of deals, though. Gonna look into it this week.

  3. To become a cult leader by rising to the front ranks of Neurocam and then either taking it over, or creating a sizeable splinter group.
  4. Done. I became the head of Neurocam last August (and was subsequently deposed in November). Being a cult leader was fucking cool, if extremely intense and an insane amount of work. I want to be one again some day, in some form. It suited me nicely.

  5. To write a throwaway novel (“which I am doing in November“).
  6. As things turned out, I was too busy fulfilling ambition no 2 to do this last November. So I’ll do it this November.

  7. To make an album, provisionally entitled ‘Everyone’s Too Stupid (“which I will do next year when I have more time”).
  8. A change in outlook has seen this one deprioritised – although I might still release a compilation of Mishuki One‘s recordings for Hagakure 419 under said title, if a sufficient number of them accumulate.

  9. To study for and obtain a degree in Creative Arts from Melbourne’s premier university (“guaranteeing me a colourful and lucrative subsequent career as a Creative Artist”).
  10. I intend to begin persuing this one next year. Unless my career takes off stratospherically between now and then, of course.

  11. To finish reading “The Magus” by John Fowles, and then to ritually burn it.
  12. Done.

  13. To have fun and not care about people.
  14. To be beautiful.
  15. To be loved.
  16. Realisation of these three remain works in progress, although great strides have been made (admittedly, in some cases, made then lost) on all fronts.

Material things I wanted:
  • An umbrella.
  • Acquired.

  • A preamping device for my microphone.
  • Latterly I’ve been using my soon-to-be ex-housemate’s guitar pedals for this purpose. But they’ve stopped working – I think because the audio-in jack on my eMac is fucked. (Along with several of the USB ports.) But – see above – evolved approaches have rendered this less important than it used to be.

  • A Bigpond Movies membership.
  • With a Blockbuster just down the road, this has become less desirable. Although I would like to join ACMI, whose lending collection goes places theirs, frankly, doesn’t.

  • A region-free DVD player.
  • Acquired. (It isn’t really region free. But it’s okay.)

  • A better camera.
  • Acquired.

  • Peter Greenaway DVDs.
  • Some still pending, some acquired. In one case acquired (see previous link), then rendered unplayable due to careless handling.

  • See also: Amazon wishlist.
  • Note: the DVDs on this list are for reference only – although I know you’d love to buy them for me, I’m better off with locally-purchased Region 4s (see above).

Updated want list:
  • More driving lessons.
  • I started learning to drive in March last year, but stopped in September, due to being too busy & stressed. I’m no longer too busy/stressed, but I am too poor. Shall recommence when it becomes viable.

  • A cat.
  • Once my domestic arrangement stabilizes somewhat – and again, given sufficiently consistent income.

  • New trainers.
  • Soles of my current trainers:
    Worn out trainer soles

  • iPod Mini repair.
  • I bought a little 512mb Shuffle after my 4GB Mini broke for the second time late last year. At around $150 this was a substantially cheaper option than getting the Mini fixed. At this rate I will be able to get a Nano for less than the cost of getting the Mini fixed. In any case, I miss my Mini.
We’ll see what happens.


Filed under Art, History, Life, Neurocam, Self Analysis, Work

Whilst faking being dead, I started an exclusive secret messageboard with Kybalion and Lady J for lovelorn former Neurocammers. It’s kind of died a death itself. That’ll teach me.

But it’s still there. And if you’d like to join, now you can! Simply submit the following details:

  • Your former operative name
  • Why you became an operative, and why you stopped being one
  • Why you would like join the board
  • Your opinion, if any, of Mr. Robin Hely
  • Your deepest desire, or your greatest fear
  • The most memorable dream you’ve had this week
  • The colour and style of the underwear you are currently wearing, if any
And maybe we’ll give you an account. Stranger things have happened.


Filed under Neurocam, Whack

We’re Post-Neurocam

It’s offically true. I resigned from Neurocam the week before last.

Here’s the report I wrote, under the guise of Crispin Black, after being appointed Director of Operations in August; the infamous Black Report. Hope it amuses.

As you can see, Mr Black and I had big plans. And we worked incredibly hard to try and realize them. I gave my entire life to Neurocam for three months. Then I was deposed by Henley in mid-November. I still don’t entirely know why. No genuine explanation has ever been forthcoming.

I managed to claw back my management position – having been running NCI singlehanded for three months, I had a fair bit of bargaining power – but by then it was really too late. I’d been frozen out, and my name had been systematically blackened within the Neuroranks.

I can see now that this was quite possibly always the plan, from day one.

Somehow, in spite of all this, I was persuaded to continue handling the operations@neurocam traffic on Assignment 411x/0x until it closed out on December 5th. Such is the hypnotic power of the Neurocam.

And I’ve retained one identity ever since, although she wasn’t seeing any action. I don’t know why they haven’t deleted her. Perhaps because they’re afraid of what I might do.

I still believe in the vision for Neurocam outlined in the Black Report: a kind of shamanic play-cult, a vehicle for expanding peoples’ minds and inspiring their creativity. And it still makes me sad (and angry) that this vision will now apparently never be realized, at least not in any form associated with NCI.

It seems to me now that le Cam – for all its wondrous potential – has always been, and will likely always remain, very little more than an excuse for Mr Robin Hely and his shifting cast of hypnotised suckers to jerk people around like so many dead-eyed marionettes, for the private masturbatory gratification of Mr Robin Hely.

Oh well.

I learned a lot from the experience.

It has certainly been quite the ride.

We will not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time


Filed under Neurocam

Well, *shrugs*, I Got Out Of Mine


2005: Year of the Neurocam

The mysterious organisation known as Neurocam has been a significant force in my life this year. To what ultimate end, I’m still not entirely sure. And if I were, I sincerely doubt I’d be in any position to tell you.

But so much has happened, and I could hardly let the year’s end pass without giving it some full circle.

I applied to join Neurocam on the 19th of December last year, did my initial Perception Assessment on January 3rd, and became an Operative on January 14th.

I started my original Neuroblog on the 20th of January.

And the rest, as they say, etcetera.

There have been tears; there has been laughter (not a little of it evil).

Some day the whole sordid story will be told. But not today.

Some of the reportable highlights included:

Oh, yeah – the virtual (and not-so-virtual) menagerie of freaks unique and wonderful individuals I’ve encountered via the Neurosphere probably warrant some mention as well.

I know I’ve been a bit aloof lately (things. have been. crazy.), but I cherish and treasure you all, you freaks. *wipes tear*

It’s been fun. One cannot complain.


Filed under Neurocam

Beltaine In “Not Wrong” Shock

Toots really is Chesh in drag.

Don’t tell anyone I told you; bitch’ll have my spinal fluid.

UPDATE – Community Service Announcement: This is Beltaine spoofing Toots, and not the real Toots.

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Filed under Neurocam, Weblogs, Whack