We’re Post-Neurocam

It’s offically true. I resigned from Neurocam the week before last.

Here’s the report I wrote, under the guise of Crispin Black, after being appointed Director of Operations in August; the infamous Black Report. Hope it amuses.

As you can see, Mr Black and I had big plans. And we worked incredibly hard to try and realize them. I gave my entire life to Neurocam for three months. Then I was deposed by Henley in mid-November. I still don’t entirely know why. No genuine explanation has ever been forthcoming.

I managed to claw back my management position – having been running NCI singlehanded for three months, I had a fair bit of bargaining power – but by then it was really too late. I’d been frozen out, and my name had been systematically blackened within the Neuroranks.

I can see now that this was quite possibly always the plan, from day one.

Somehow, in spite of all this, I was persuaded to continue handling the operations@neurocam traffic on Assignment 411x/0x until it closed out on December 5th. Such is the hypnotic power of the Neurocam.

And I’ve retained one neurocam.com identity ever since, although she wasn’t seeing any action. I don’t know why they haven’t deleted her. Perhaps because they’re afraid of what I might do.

I still believe in the vision for Neurocam outlined in the Black Report: a kind of shamanic play-cult, a vehicle for expanding peoples’ minds and inspiring their creativity. And it still makes me sad (and angry) that this vision will now apparently never be realized, at least not in any form associated with NCI.

It seems to me now that le Cam – for all its wondrous potential – has always been, and will likely always remain, very little more than an excuse for Mr Robin Hely and his shifting cast of hypnotised suckers to jerk people around like so many dead-eyed marionettes, for the private masturbatory gratification of Mr Robin Hely.

Oh well.

I learned a lot from the experience.

It has certainly been quite the ride.

We will not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time

36 Comments

Filed under Neurocam

36 Responses to We’re Post-Neurocam

  1. Q

    cue a CCR comment anytime now…. 🙂

  2. I’m excited!
    Oh and I’d just like to offer in advance to anyone who may be poised to accuse me of ‘ruining the experience for others’: you can bite me, neurobabies. With an XL side order of shut the fuck up.
    But when you get screwed, and need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here.
    (To recruit you to my secret organization..)

  3. robin hely

    you are too kind

  4. You’re right. I’ve always had a merciful streak. It’s one of my biggest weaknesses.

  5. There’s a perverse beauty to your quoting The Magus (or Eliot via The Magus, anyway) as your final (?) words on Neurocam.
    And you know I’ll join your cult, baby.
    (But I’m so not going to be the den mother this time. She didn’t get to let her hair down *nearly* often enough…)

  6. >There’s a perverse beauty to your quoting The Magus (or Eliot
    >via The Magus, anyway) as your final (?) words on Neurocam.
    That’s the second nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day!
    >(But I’m so not going to be the den mother this time. She didn’t
    >get to let her hair down *nearly* often enough…)
    High Priestess? Sacrificial virgin?
    Where we go from here.. etc etc

  7. she still had beautiful hair in her own right.
    Is this the part where I start denying everything, or where I say you’re telling lies, or offer a “real” version of events or cry sour grapes?
    Or do I go lie down and take a well earned nap like a weight has been lifted?
    Perhaps instead I state the fact that the character of Robin Hely was always one of my blessed favourites even after the real death of Neurocam.
    We can all rest now, we can all sleep, there’s nothing to see here,
    just leaders and sheep.
    dated April 04

  8. lets start again.
    I feel we all got off on the wrong foot
    no masks this time

  9. >she still had beautiful hair in her own right.
    Blue or otherwise.
    Actually, I think Lady J has already started her own cult..
    If she hasn’t, she should.

  10. Starting again? I’m all for it.
    Always.
    But my masks, he said tragically, are all I have.
    >just leaders and sheep.
    “Leaders” is the nice name for them.
    Any sheep in the audience?
    Hello?
    Can we get a sheep to comment?
    *wind howls*

  11. Not a sheep but a wolf…
    The Boy Who Cried Wolf…
    …but alas, not as you learned it the first time.
    I wonder if the price of maturity is that we lose our interesting community.
    What I’d like to remind you all is that you were all SHEEP at least at one point in this experience.
    I refused CEO of NCI because it was obvious from the get go that there was not a single competent staff member in the entire community.
    Imagine with all the SHEEP like gigabane Titan is sending out assignments, and that was after I was adament about not doing a bunch of work for a bunch of idiot slaves.
    I think I have had maybe three T.I.T.A.N. agents that were worth a damn.
    It is not that Henley is a sick fuck (entirely) but that the task of getting middle management to do any work without losing you temper and over power-plays. It is the operative base that is lazy and is just a consuming parasite.
    What have the Gigabanes of NCI ever given back to the community? Even I, now in retrospect, can be seen to have been showing how to view management in this experience.
    This to me was to break you all out of your shells. I still think that Henley is the masterful engineer.
    You all have to admit you had it coming.
    Every single one of you..hahahahaha
    But I love you all, don’t take my gloating wrong. its just that
    I TOLD YOU SO……

  12. That’s the second nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day!
    And now my curiousity is piqued. What was the nicest?
    >she still had beautiful hair in her own right.
    Blue or otherwise.

    *blushes*
    Actually, I think Lady J has already started her own cult..
    If she hasn’t, she should.

    Can one be both the High Priestess and the sacrificial virgin? (And can I fudge my resume a bit on the latter? I’ve always wanted to be born again, ya know… 😉
    But my masks, he said tragically, are all I have.
    which is why you must let them go!

    1 cult
    no masks
    hq: tahiti!

  13. “Neurocam fucks those who fuck themselves”
    Kudos 🙂

  14. >What was the nicest?
    Why, this email I got about an hour ago:
    >From: Robin Hely
    >Date: 7 February 2006 6:45:36 PM
    >To: Teigan
    >Subject: Re: you really are the devil, aren’t you?
    >
    >How do you fucking live with yourself you fucking asswipe
    >
    >I always suspected you were the type to piss in the sandpit
    >
    >You are no better than Beltaine
    >
    >Thanks for ruining it for everyone, I hope it makes you feel
    >better you cunt
    >
    >On 2/7/06, Teigan
    wrote:
    >>How do you live with yourself?
    >>I genuinely would be fascinated to know

  15. Rorschach:
    >Kudos 🙂
    Thanks, man.
    LJ:
    >1 cult
    >no masks
    >hq: tahiti!
    I’m so there it isn’t even funny.

  16. >What I’d like to remind you all is that you were all SHEEP at
    >least at one point in this experience.
    Chris – excellent point, well made.
    (No, there’s no snarky followup.)

  17. Li

    Robin Hely seems like such a sad fellow.
    Think I might bake him some scones.
    Anyway, seeya friday, and make sure your eyepod is updated with wicked beats.

  18. Haaaaaaa I can’t believe you killed it!
    That’s funny.
    It wouldn’t be if it was anyone else.
    Ha.
    Okay seriously though Teigan, NOW can we start our own organisation?

  19. jaye

    great way to go out.
    ‘Yet must thou sail after knowledge
    knowing less than drugged beasts.’
    where did neurocam get the cash from?

  20. >Okay seriously though Teigan, NOW can we start our own
    >organisation?
    It’s funny you should say that
    >where did neurocam get the cash from?
    Arts grants and suckers
    I’d just like to add, for the record: Titan was right all along, and I was wrong!
    *commits suicide*

  21. Dude! I can finally come out and say it.
    Thanks for firing me! Asswipe!
    Nah, I’m kidding, you’re alright! 😉
    “Haaaaaaa I can’t believe you killed it!” – Adam. – Damn, the the exact thought I had when I read it.
    Can’t say I wasn’t tempted to do it myself, but then, I heard about the back-up plan… 😉

  22. Cheers for placing Teigan on the same level as me Robin, Now I truely do feel honoured.
    As for you Teigan and You Lady Bitch Jess Hawthorn, how you could even call yourself a Lady is beyond me, showing your breasts with that Peodophilic Bitch CP
    Hahaha
    NOW YOUR FUCKING GONE and SNOOPER AND BLABBER LIVE ON!
    We did it Chris!

  23. >>where did neurocam get the cash from?
    >Arts grants and suckers
    I was never a sucker.
    >I’d just like to add, for the record: Titan >was right all along, and I was wrong!
    Ahhh… no, Titan was never right as he never made any sense whatsoever.
    … oh and Beltaine,
    Fuck Off.

  24. >Titan was never right as he never made any sense whatsoever.
    But his whole ‘not making any sense’ thing really IS a cunning ruse!
    Titan sees all. Well, maybe not all. But you know, he sure showed me a thing or two.
    Respect is (over)due. Seriously. Viva Titan.
    >… oh and Beltaine,
    >
    >Fuck Off.
    This part on the other hand I concur with wholeheartedly

  25. I love you all so dearly.
    We have shared an intense experience together.
    Teigan is the one who really unveiled the “reality” behind Neurocam in his Black Report where he calls it a “living entity” and that NCI is us, the staff that manifest it.
    SHE manifested at first through Art grants, then contributions, ultimatly through the blood, sweat, and tears of the Hastings Chair.
    I cannot help but continue to think we were beig trained by this Entity to do something very important that can only be done by a community such as ours.
    Is there a real mystery right around the corner? Not a training fabrication, but a real life situation that only those who have been slain and risen in Neurocam are fit to comprehend.
    I see Henley as the owner of this “Corporation” and like many owners is capricious and chaotic. He is the Neurocam Donald Trump…in this apprentice game.
    It is brutally challenging. That stakes are that you will “Get out of your Mind”, no one said it would be pleasant.
    We have failed as Upper Management to mtivate Middle Management to stay prodictive once they past a certain veil, and realized that there was a lot of actual work to be done.
    In Reality it is not the owners responsibility to provide a game plan and motivate the management, it is the Upper Management.
    In Neurocam, we find a chaotic factor in the person of the Owner and main controller. As Upper Mangagement, can we find a flexible model that can absorb the Henley Fluxuations and at the same time motivate management to follow through with their duties with enthusiasm.
    There is an entire blue print that was created by Crispen Black that is perfect for NCI. It takes commitment to implement.
    NCI still has global “Brand Name” recognition and is gathering the attention of people who are interested in “community” creation, motivation, persuasion, and human consciousness. This “Brand Name” is the ticket to really getting NCI on its feet and running.
    NCI is a laboratory.
    It seems that if Upper Management could get the full cooperation of Middle Management, the Owner would be happy and let the project grow into itself.
    Neurocam is beyond the sum of its parts.
    NCI can be a viable “corporate” exercise that evolves the perceptions with a series of successively more difficult missions.
    It must be understood that most people will fail. This is the nature of the Unveiling.
    Those who dont fail and who grow will realize that the skills they have acquired from NCI they could not find anywhere else.
    This is why we are all Life Time Members of NCI.
    I am all emotional and shit…
    Chris Titan
    p.s. I have been reading “Reengineering the Corporation: A manifesto for Business Revolution” by Michael Hammer & James Champy
    Combine this with the Idea of the Magna Charta…and we might have a scene where we approach Henley, Nobles to the King presenting our demands.

  26. This is what I’m talking about. Thank you, CT.
    Going to a RH with a proposal? I don’t know about that. I’ve never found trying to negotiate with him a very fruitful endeavour.
    But the brand name is invaluable. It’s more than a brand name. It’s something bigger than any of us.. including RH.
    I don’t know the answer, but yes.
    We have been witness to something truly extraordinary here. And it isn’t over – far from it.
    And I’m sorry for pissing in the sandpit. I love this sandpit.
    The guy who owns the sandpit.. is problematic. But he’s also a magician of awesome-ah power and all credit to him for that I guess.
    I don’t know. What Chris said.
    Yeah – there’s many issues to be ironed out. There’s a carrot problem. Finding the right motivational formulas. ‘The Hastings Chair’ under current arrangements is too much for any individual to cope with successfully.
    You are so right about.. once certain types of operative pass a certain veil threshold, they become useless; impossible to motivate. The lesson there, I guess, is just to be really careful and discerning about who gets promoted.
    There’s also major ego problems. Ego gratification is a big and valuable carrot. But if any single ego gets too bloated it becomes not merely problematic but potentially quite dangerous. (I speak from first hand experience here.)
    ‘The Henley Fluxations’ sounds like a good name for a band.
    >Is there a real mystery right around the corner?
    Oh, you know it

  27. I haven’t saved anything to my “noteworthy” Neurocam folder in ages…
    Thank you, Chris, for that last comment. You and I haven’t spoken much (if ever) to each other, but what you’ve said reflects my own experience with Neurocam in ways that very few people will ever know.
    It has been brutally challenging. It has torn my world apart (or come damn near close — and I don’t think it’s done with me yet). And I’m not talking about simply becoming an inducted operative, upper management, etc. That, in fact, has had very little to do with the ways in which Neurocam has affected my life.
    This thread feels like a wake in some ways…
    But then, I’ve always sorta believed in ghosts.
    cheers, neurocam

  28. Anonymous

    These comments will probably come back to haunt you

  29. Random Voodoo

    What the fuck is going on? I don’t go online for a few days and then I find the neuroboards down, this bewildering post and thread of comments and the cam website needs a password to access it. P.S. I am reading the post with the explosive and revelatory indictment of the Cam deleted

  30. Robert Henley

    Thanks Teigan, you have played right into my hands just like I thought you would. You are an extremely predictable character and I have used that to my advantage yet again. The fantastic irony is that the last straw (for you) was in fact a ruse. The “sick fuck” in me takes great pleasure in the notion that you have once again been taken for a complete ride.
    By the way, as we are all having this big, loving session of honesty, the reason you were fired as DO is that you sucked at it and were unable to keep your ego in your pants, thus exposing your true identity to all and sundry. We both know this is not the way to run the cam, in fact it puts you in a similar league to Titan and Beltaine. Confidentiality is not really that difficult.
    All that has ever mattered to me is the best interests of the project. If people like you fuck it up for me, of course I will cut you out of the loop. It is not a complex equation, simply one that your vanity has not allowed you to see.
    Anyway, thanks for initiating the next phase of operations. I expect you will never know what happens from here on in and neither will any of your readers.
    Cheers and thanks for everything
    Robert

  31. Dev

    Interesting to watch the current turn of events and the different ways people have handled recent events. Its been a fun ride. Neurocam is not yet over. …but it might be. I don’t know quite how to label my experience.
    NCI wasn’t what you expected? Were you an asset? You don’t have to leave.
    It’s sad to watch what’s going on.

  32. Jan Pehechaan-Ho

    Henley caught on tape in Bombay. Dig the suit about 1 min in.
    http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/BT/jan_pehechaan_ho.mpg

  33. >the reason you were fired as DO is that you sucked at it
    We both know what really happened. I have no need to respond to your propaganda anymore.
    What Chris said.
    The Neurocam circus will truly realize its potential when the people connected to it wake up to the fact that neither they, nor the circus, belong to you. Actually.
    >You are an extremely predictable character and I have used
    >that to my advantage yet again.
    Oooh! I love watching you trying to find my number; trying to figure out by trial and error what kind of barbs to use. It’s really pathetic. But kind of interesting.
    Any and all. Cheers for your ‘feedback’
    >Cheers and thanks for everything
    Thanks for everything. Really.
    As I said, I’ve learned a great deal.

  34. robin hely

    can you meet me for a drink so we can talk about the good old times?

  35. teigan

    No. I hope you die – slowly, painfully and soon.

  36. Blacklight

    It’s been a fascinating ride nonetheless.
    Not bad a challenge, but it only took a day.

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