Monthly Archives: January 2007

What Would You Do

.. if you could get away with it?

* * *

(UPDATE – Note to the person who just entered “rejoin Neurocam”: you can. They will take pretty much anyone. Even I, the most hated-on man in ex-Camland, could probably rejoin if I wanted to. Especially if I used a new name. Why you would want to is a mystery, because it’s a laughable shambles overseen by a compulsively manipulative, pathologically self-centred fuckhead from hell. But hey, go for it.)


Filed under Art, Pimpage

Note To Self: If You Value Your Sobriety

Do not go for dollar pots at the Purple Turtle with the artist formerly known as Bentendo.

Note to anyone I may have texted, emailed, or left blog comments for over the last few hours (note post timestamp, AEST): Please disregard.


Filed under Drunkenness

I’ve So Finished

.. the long-overdue task of tabulating the fiddly stats in my stuff i did last year post. I was unable to compile them in Manchester because I had (a) insufficient access to the relevant data and (b) much better things to do.

I so have! They’re at the bottom of the page, if you’re interested. Alternately, you could just follow the link up there. Or, y’know, you could go and do something else entirely. See if I care, dear reader. See if I give a fuck.

Hey, you could go and visit Nada. She just posted, which is an event these days.

I like Nada. But then I’m a Nadaist; I think it’s probably compulsory. Even if I wasn’t a Nadaist I would probably still like her, though. Honest.

Speaking of returns from the dead: as some people reading this will know, I was becoming a bit concerned about the status of my housemate ~ who mysteriously completely vanished off the face of the earth on Thursday night; I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of him since.

But all is well; he turned up at about 9pm this evening, looking very sunburnt. Turns out he’d simply taken an impromptu trip to the coast, where his phone died. There’s a lot of it about.

After a touching reunion, we watched Press Gang whilst I designed a new logo for my media company on “the old one was a pile of shit” grounds.

Life is good.

That is all.


Filed under Art, Auto-Pimpage, Domestica, Life Is Good, People, Weblogs

[insert predictable absinthe pun here]

To: j hawthone
From: Trysting Fields Central Communications
Date: Friday 26 January 2007, 4:23:36 PM

>(you never really said much about teh fairie, btw, besides that text about
>her being nasty and somewhat evil. forgot to ask you on skype. more detail?)

They had a range of absinthe-y drinks but only three that were called ‘absinthe’ – the Pernod and two by La Fee, Parisian and Bohemian. I went for the Bohemian, which was also, natch, the most expensive at $15 a glass.

Now (disclaimer: like I said, this has always been a total fantasy thing for me, and as such my scholarship is not profound; I make no claims of knowing what I’m talking about.. just glancing at the La Fee FAQ now I’m learning things I didn’t know), my understanding of what constitutes a ‘real’ absinthe experience is that it must conform to three basic criteria:

– must be in the region of 60-75% alcohol
– must contain, famously, wormwood along with other agents that give it legendary psychoactive properties, considerably beyond those normally associated with alcoholic drinks
– should be served with a measure of water, poured over or through a spoonful of sugar

This was served in a half-full goblet with ice and it certainly looked brilliant glowing greenly clasped in my black-nailed fingers, so that was something. It came with a small bottle of no doubt outrageously overpriced imported water – but no sugar or spoon.

Initially I tried drinking it straight, since I suspected it was probably not exceptionally evil as absinthes go and wanted to maximize whatever psychoactive effects it might precipitate. But this proved impossible because it was hella strong and tasted *awful* (I actually have always hated aniseedy things and hence wasn’t expecting to particularly enjoy the taste), and I eventually had to dilute it about 50-50 with the water.

It may well have been in the region of 60% alcohol or so – it got me pretty fucked up. But I certainly didn’t hallucinate or otherwise feel anything other than profoundly drunk.

The experience didn’t put me off absinthe – but it did help to confirm my suspicion that for a real green faerie experience I will indeed probably have to go to Prague or somewhere like that. Or at the very least do some proper research.


Filed under Drugs, Drunkenness

Sedition Redux (ux ux ux)

I think The Age missed the real story here, but (thanks once again to Semi for pointing this out) it is alluded to in the final paragraph:

Mr Howard this week denied the new Department of Immigration and Citizenship meant multiculturalism was defunct. “I think the title of the new department expresses the desire and the aspiration that … immigrants become Australians.”

Why not just come right out and call it the Department of Immigration, Citizenship and Kuntdom?

1 Comment

Filed under Current Affairs, Whack

It’s My Blog And I’ll Break My Own Self-Imposed Vow Of Silence Occasionally If I Want To

I blame you, Carfax. Just let it lie, whycantcha?


I recently had cause to send someone a link to my Neurocam Perception Assessment. It is two years old this month.

Rereading it was quite the life-is-strange moment. Many syncronicities and other peculiarities emerged. I even bag out Vanstone in it at one point. Actually, that’s not particularly strange. But the whole thing was funny.

Life is funny. Time flies. Other cliches.

That’s all, I guess.

But on a related note: since, surprisingly, no one else has picked this one up (as far as I’m aware) I suppose it falls to me to ask – does this dastardly unidentified voyeuristic spycam shoe bandit sound suspiciously like anyone we know?

And with that I must away, dear readers, for now I have an important date with the Green Faerie Jellybean.

Good evening.


Filed under Current Affairs, History, Illusion Of Time, Life, Neurocam, People, Self Analysis

Signs Of The Apocalypse

An occasional series.

Exhibit A: Someone auctioning off their identity wholesale (BYO physical body) on eBay. And not even attempting to call it ‘art’.

The end is nigh.

(Thanks to Wortwut.)

UPDATE – Further links related to this venture: The soon-to-be-offloaded identity’s website and, natch, the soon-to-be-offloaded identity’s MySpace page.


Filed under The End Is Nigh

Howard Belatedly Complies With Pulat Vanstone Directive

Semi was right. Victory for the Trysting Fields campaign.

Senator Amanda Vanstone says she will take some time to consider her future, after being dropped from the federal frontbench.

Senator Vanstone, who leaves the Immigration portfolio, says she is not sure if she will see out the five remaining years of her parliamentary term.

It’s unclear whether the subtext here is that she’s contemplating suicide. But if so, Mandy, know that you have my full support. You fat nasty bitch from hell.

(In other news: Is it just me or is Stan Grant looking, weirdly, much much blacker than he used to?)


Filed under Current Affairs, Evil, Failure, Victory, w0ot

Eggy In A Basket

Cheers to ~ (via V) for the inspiration.

Eggy In A Basket 1

Eggy In A Basket 2

Eggy In A Basket 3


Filed under Food, Photos

Extreme Weather

If you think Melbourne weather is a bit much sometimes.. try Manchester.

If I believed in God, I’d conclude that he was well pissed off about something.


Filed under Current Affairs, Discombobulation, Whack

How To Become A Cult Leader

Adam already posted this, but because it’s genius and because I can see that you’re special, dear reader, I wanted to share it with you personally. In my opinion, you deserve no less.

No, there’s no need to thank me. You’re doing all the work. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. You’re special. You’re special. I love you. I love you. Kill your parents. Kill your teachers. Kill your so-called friends. Kill yourself. You don’t really exist anyway. Deep down you know it’s true. That is all.

(PS You’re special.)


Filed under Art, Evil, Genius, Neurocam, YouTube

It’s Narcissistic And Silly, I Realise

But I cannot for the life of me figure out who left this nasty trolly comment, and it’s really bugging me. In all likelihood they’re someone I don’t even know. Making it really silly.

IP =, hence probably utilizing this ISP in this US city, probably an anime fan, probably female. That’s the best I can do.



Filed under People, Weblogs, Whack

Home Again

On the upside (of being delayed by 24 hours) I got to send my postcards personally, and to spend all night loitering in central London. There was no downside really.

In other news: Vale RAW. May the fnord etc.


Filed under Audio, Chaos, Death, Discombobulation, Domestica, Genius, People, Travel

In Transit

London note


Filed under Photos, Travel

perhaps an intention


perhaps a guest post.



Filed under Here Is The News, Illusion Of Time, Life Is Good