Monthly Archives: May 2005

Magus Saga Continues, Etc

Well, the end of the month has arrived, but despite my resolution, I’m still 168 pages shy of completing The Magus.

I have been contemplating suicide, but it really wouldn’t suit my style and besides, I want to find out if the ending is really as ambiguous and unsatisfying as everyone says.

The DVD of A Zed & Two Noughts I was coveting here has gone, I discovered today. However in its place was one of PG‘s preceding feature, The Draughtsman’s Contract (pictured, below) – also with director’s commentary! Go the digital revolution etc. Feeling in need of a compelling reason to live some retail therapy, and wary of being gazumped again, I bought it.

Yay, DVD of The Draughtsman’s Contract with director’s commentary.

Draughtsman's Contract DVD

What else? I happened to pass pipe-smoking Bolte Bridge participant Operative Arachni on Barkly Street this morning. I smiled at her, but I don’t think she recognised me.

Here is a picture of someone else’s toaster (my own is too retiring for photos):

Yawning depths of someone else's toaster


Filed under Books, Movies, Neurocam, Photos


Blah blahdy blah blabidy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blabidy blah blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah blah blabidy blah blah. Blahdy blahdy blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah; blah blah blabidy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah.

Blah blah blabidy blah blah blah – blah blah blahdy blah blabidy blah blah blah, blah blah.

Blah blabidy blah, blah.

My sister wants her camera back. Silly bitch.

Neurocam is not a culture jamming exercise.
Neurocam is a misdirection virus.

(Please note: Neurocam is not a misdirection virus.)

Here is a picture of Kate Beckinsale in “Underworld”:

“I’ll never age and I’ll never die/Unlike all the stars in the sky/I’ll be young forever.. know why?”


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Another Dead Flower

Another dead flower

What does Carlos think of this one?

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At Least The ‘Cam Wants Me

Village rejection letter

Village didn’t.

Oh well.

208 pages of The Magus to go.

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Last Ever Neurocam Post?

Well, probably not. But the second half of my induction was completed earlier in the week and I really can’t say anything at all about it, except that it’s pretty sweet. I certainly ain’t disappointed.

Hang in there, you entry-level scamps.

As others have observed, the more you learn about the Cam the harder it becomes to talk about. But I will continue to blog about Neurocam to the extent that this is feasible. May not be all that much.

That said I have a new assignment, NIO-3001/01, which is not of itself earth-shattering in nature, and which I am not explicitly enjoined from discussing. Suffice to say it’s a less diversionary equivalent of NCI-2332.

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Brave New Wallet

In addition to buying clothes on Friday, I also got a new wallet. My old one was falling to pieces. Things were constantly falling out of it. I’ve lost four keycards in the last eight months or so because of this.

Wallet comparison

As the picture above illustrates, the new wallet is substantially smaller than the old one.

In many respects this is a good thing. However I had not entirely anticipated the extent to which the new one offers severely limited scope for one of my favourite passtimes, the obsessive collection and hoarding of random stupid crap.

My old wallet used give house room to all manner of daft accumulata. Unfortunately for the shiny novelty value of this post, I actually already partially cleaned it out when I moved. It was becoming unweildy.

Effecting the transfer nevertheless necessitated further wallet-crap cullage, and was a welcome excuse to indulge in a spot of the old ultra short term nostalgia.

Cards and stuff from my old wallet
From top down: plastic bag no doubt used for illicit purposes, business cards, handy Polyester Books “Get Out of Hell Free” card, old Canberran ID & membership cards, including ANU Health Club card, expiration date August 2002

Sentimental wallet scraps
Inscribed scraps of sentimental value

Playing cards from my old wallet
One and a half playing cards

Tickets from my old wallet
Tickets for things, mostly movies. I decided to retain the ones from Melbourne and archive the ones from Canberra, which comprised the bulk of the collection (note yellowing ticket to Kill Bill Vol 1, dated 27th October 2003, in foreground)

Van Helsing ticket

I was unsure what to do with this particular ticket, for a 10:10pm session of Van Helsing on Monday the 30th of May 2004, at the Jam Factory Village (see previous post), which I foolishly went to see entirely on the basis that Kate Beckinsale was in it.

It is an unhappy ticket; I associate it with sitting sadly on the floor of T’s flat in Toorak, realising that my first attempt to move to Melbourne was doomed. And despite the movie was absolutely dire.

But in the end I decided to retain it.

248 pages of The Magus left.


Filed under Books, Domestica, History, Photos

Things They Made Us Do At My Group Interview At The Jam Factory Village Yesterday

  1. All fifteen or so applicants were left to wait awkwardly around silently eyeing each other up for over 25 fun-filled minutes.

  2. We were given bingo-style cards with boxes containing phrases like “Has a sister”, “Plays a musical instrument” “Is currently reading a novel”, “Plays sport competitively” etc, and instructed to mingle and aquire signiatures from six fellow applicants in boxes whose phrases applied to them.

  3. Each of us had to stand up and tell the assembled company what our favourite movie was and why, what “our goal” was, and our most embarrassing moment. I was the only person who couldn’t think of a most embarrassing moment.

  4. We were given transcripts of three hypothetical staff-customer interaction scenarios, divided into groups of three and instructed to discuss how well or badly each situation was handled. One nominee from each group was then required to give a short statement of the group’s findings.

  5. We were given eight minutes in which to complete a short standardised maths test. I only finished about a third of it. So did the guy next to me, though.

  6. We were herded outside again and then called in three at a time to participate in two one-on-one roleplay exercises. These involved assimilating a sheet describing the two scenarios and some relevant information about protocols etc. I did everything right on a fuctional level but I kind of fucked up the presentation aspect of it, since by this point all I could think about was how badly I wanted the whole thing to be over.

I think the experience of participating in recent Neurocam group assignments was beneficial. The vibe of vague dread and menace engendered by the mysterious nature of the Cam was substituted with standard job-interview dread and menace, but in other respects it was an eerily similar kind of experience.

Unhappily, I miscalculated the number of pages of The Magus I had left to read. It was actually 300. Now it’s 274.


Filed under Books, Work

The Grumpy Post About The Magus

(There was a longer version of this but it’s kind of longwinded and tedious and I can’t be bothered to finish it – which is of course what happens when one attempts to read longwinded and tedious books which one can’t be bothered to finish – so I’ll just give you the gist:)

I want to finish The Magus. It’s really shitting me. I don’t like it at all. The concept is interesting but the execution is very contrived. The style is soporifically ponderous and all the characters grate my tits. The narrator, especially, is a pompous, self-absorbed pillock. He reminds so much of me; it’s terrible.

I want to read my Peter Greenaway book. And also, I’ve decided I’m going to do NaNoWriMo this year and have a pile of other books I want to read or reread in preparation. Like Georges Bataille‘s The Story of the Eye, which is great.

(Opens at random)

[Insert pyrotechnically surreal, lurid and obscene passage from The Story Of The Eye here.]

Let’s try it with the Magus.

*flip flip flip*

[Insert bromidically dreary, overdescriptive passage from The Magus here.]

See what I mean? [Well, probably not.]

I am going to finish it by the end of the month if it kills me, a possibility which cannot be discounted. I have 200 pages to go.


Filed under Books

This Week Has Been Crap

Well, it has. Not crap as in terrible, just crap as in nyeh. Total non-week. Except for Monday evening’s little Neuroventure, that was frikken awesome. Only interesting thing that’s happened all week. Pretty much getting on for the only thing I’ve done all week, of any note.

I went to the Henson exhibition again today. Well worth a second go. It’s great. No posters for sale! Must be a rights thing. Sucks.

I am still somewhat ill. It’s very tiresome.

I am going clothes shopping tomorrow. I hate clothes shopping. I find it almost impossible, especially in my current incarnation. But society (and the weather.. brr) dictates that one must have clothes.

The things I go through for you, The World.

Whoo, grumpy post.

I do have some good news. Remember how I wanted to work in a cinema? Well, I have an interview at the Jam Factory Village on Chapel Street on Monday. It’s certainly not my dream cinema job (I still fancy the Astor.. or the Nova.. mmm.. Nova..) but it’s a step in the right direction. And god knows, it would be a hell of a fuckload better than my present ‘job’.

They rang me up out of nowhere and did a preliminary interview over the phone whilst I was en route to the airport last Friday, which was kind of startling. Apparently I did alright though. In a way it was better than a conventional job interview (ie one you know about in advance) because I didn’t have time to get nervous.

What else?

I had this post on the launchpad about The Magus which is kind of grumpy too, so I might just drop it in here and have a great big ol’ grumpfest but actually.. nah, I’ll save it for tomorrow. Why not finish out the week in high grumpin’ style? It’s my blog, goddamnit.

Whatever, I’ll do what I want etc.

Here is a picture of Gwen Stefani:

Toilet + Gwen


Filed under Life, Photos, Work

For some reason I’m half-watching this awful Mike Munro Chapelle Corby thing on Channel 9, and they’re running this zany ongoing phone poll about her guilt-slash-innocence.

Predictably enough, the innocent vote is steadily going up as the show progresses. It’s tracking how effectively it’s hypnotising its viewers, then telling them about it. Awesome.

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Bicycles Excepted
“Attention Tracey and Anne of Alma Road. Please contact Cezelia asap”

Answers on a postcard..


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Xul Is Dead

Long live Xul.

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Assignment MIA-0009/5 (Part 2)

So, at approximately 7:50 this evening, a white stretch limo pulled up outside the Belgian Beer Cafe on Moubray Street, Prahran, where two other operatives (one blogging, one not) and myself were waiting as instructed.

The driver ushered us inside. Two masked, silent Neurocam personnel sat at either end of a long seat facing a bar. The limo pulled out and we were each handed several documents (including two copies of a hefty engagement contract), a pen, and a set of headphones.

A laptop (one of those adorable baby powerbooks) had been placed on the bar, and instructions were delivered to us through it by way of a video address by a masked woman. Once she had finished speaking, an onscreen timer counted down the ten minutes we were given in which to examine the documents and complete certain tasks pertaining to them, which we did before being returned to our departure point.

Upon alighting from the limo we were each presented with an enigmatic souvenir.

Neurocam apple

We then proceeded into the Belgian Beer Cafe and had a drink.


Filed under Neurocam

Neurocam Assignment MIA-0009/05

This long-awaited missive landed in my inbox on Thusday:

Subject: Neurocam Assignment – Monday May 16th 2005
Date: 12 May 2005 8:30:35 PM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

Please be aware that due to availability constraints you are requested to be available for an assignment relating to your offer of promotion on Monday May 16th between 7:30 and 8:30pm. This schedule is now compulsory, and any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

The exact timing and location and other operational requirements will be provided via the usual email communication during the day in question. Please advise immediately if this will be a problem for you. I can say, however, that the intended location you will need to travel to will be in the vicinity of [where I live].


Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

As advised, that was followed this morning by this:

Subject: Neurocam International Assignment MIA – 0009/05
Date: 16 May 2005 10:06:04 AM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

This evening, Monday May 16, 2005, at 7:45 pm precisely, you are to be at the following location: [public location in the inner south of Melbourne]

Be wearing your Neurocam Identifier if it is in operational condition. If it is not in operational condition you must display evidence of your Neurocam membership.

Your attendance is compulsory and you must come alone. Any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

Regarding operational security: you are permitted to publicly note the purpose of the assignment, and it impact on you as an operative of Neurocam International, and describe the events involved in the assignment, but you are not permitted to reveal the details of any messages, conversations, documents, reports, or other communications beyond the two preparatory assignment arrangement emails.

I trust you will understand and abide by the intent of these security requirements. Further security guidelines will be provided as required and relevant to the issues and eventualities arising out of this evening’s assignment.


Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International


Filed under Neurocam

And That Was The End Of That

The parental farewell party in Canberra went well. But I felt very numb all weekend; couldn’t really get my head around what was happening. It didn’t seem real.

It doesn’t seem right for such a significant change to occur whilst I’ve still got one foot in the void. My family home where I spent so many years of my life has just ceased to exist, and it’s like I missed the whole thing. It’s sad.

I found my microphone.

New jeans
And I got some new jeans.

As predicted the highlight of the trip was seeing my youngest sister, who’s very special. We have a complex history. She’s been an incredible bitch to me on a fair number of occasions without ever saying sorry. I think I’ve damaged her quite badly in some ways, although I didn’t mean to. She’s never entirely gotten over certain things, even after four years.

But for all our history, I still love her so much and probably always will. I fantasize sometimes that one day we will be the best of friends again, and make art together happily ever after. Maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t know.

She seems to be doing alright. Although she has developed a serious text messaging addiction.

SMSin' 1 message recieved

After the party on Saturday night, we played traditional stoned cards in my old room. It wasn’t like the old days at all, but it was nice.

I lead a pretty psychological life.. I think most people do

Cards Bong

Red walls 1 Red walls 2
I painted these walls red after I got home from Wales at the beginning of 2000.

Twilight balcony

That is all.

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