So I can continue to post exciting and dynamic photos like this:
New bowl in action (as requested)
(NB: Please don’t ask what happened to my thumb.)
Note to self: buy bananas
Filed under Uncategorised
What a legendary picture.
Seems you got your nail caught in something when you were younger… perhaps shut a door on it. (I’m not asking any questions!!!)
I better get some breakfast.
The thing is, absolutely nothing happened to it. It just went like that, spontaneously, when I was about 16. It’s never been normal since. For a few years it went through a period where the nail would lift off and fall away, then a new retarded nail would blossom underneath, and so on. It seems to have stabilised somewhat now.
I went to a doctor about it once. He took some scrapings, had them tested, and told me that it was not a fungal infection.
And that’s absolutely the last time I’m ever going to tell that non-story.
I always get asked about it, and I get tired of not having a good explanation.
From now on, I resolve to make up a colourful fiction everytime the question presents itself, which it does with alarming frequency. It’s partly why I decided to become a recluse.
Hey teigs, what happened to your thumb man?
An elephant stepped on it when I was on safari one time.
Actually, I tell a lie. It went like that as a result of genetic experiments conducted upon me when I was abducted by aliens.
To be perfectly honest, it’s the result of a curse placed on me by a rival shaman who was trying to muscle in on my turf.
I deliberately hit it with a hammer for a drunken bet.
I dunno, but I suspect Chris Titan had something to do with it. That man is the devil.
I went on safari once. Good times.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.
Thanks for that, Avery.
No one will ever see that comment except you and me, probably.
How special that makes us both.
Avery: The Estate of Groucho Marx might like to have a word about you stealing his material. Those Marxists are really big on property rights I’m told.
I just want it down on paper somewhere that I know the truth about that nail…
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