Category Archives: Weblogs

January 29, 2007 · 3:41 am

I’ve So Finished

.. the long-overdue task of tabulating the fiddly stats in my stuff i did last year post. I was unable to compile them in Manchester because I had (a) insufficient access to the relevant data and (b) much better things to do.

I so have! They’re at the bottom of the page, if you’re interested. Alternately, you could just follow the link up there. Or, y’know, you could go and do something else entirely. See if I care, dear reader. See if I give a fuck.

Hey, you could go and visit Nada. She just posted, which is an event these days.

I like Nada. But then I’m a Nadaist; I think it’s probably compulsory. Even if I wasn’t a Nadaist I would probably still like her, though. Honest.

Speaking of returns from the dead: as some people reading this will know, I was becoming a bit concerned about the status of my housemate ~ who mysteriously completely vanished off the face of the earth on Thursday night; I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of him since.

But all is well; he turned up at about 9pm this evening, looking very sunburnt. Turns out he’d simply taken an impromptu trip to the coast, where his phone died. There’s a lot of it about.

After a touching reunion, we watched Press Gang whilst I designed a new logo for my media company on “the old one was a pile of shit” grounds.

Life is good.

That is all.

4 Comments

Filed under Art, Auto-Pimpage, Domestica, Life Is Good, People, Weblogs

January 16, 2007 · 7:18 pm

It’s Narcissistic And Silly, I Realise

But I cannot for the life of me figure out who left this nasty trolly comment, and it’s really bugging me. In all likelihood they’re someone I don’t even know. Making it really silly.

IP = 68.5.35.236, hence probably utilizing this ISP in this US city, probably an anime fan, probably female. That’s the best I can do.

Anyone?

25 Comments

Filed under People, Weblogs, Whack

December 31, 2006 · 11:59 pm

Stuff I Did This Year

Broke up an eight-year marriage, arguably
Destroyed Neurocam, according to some (Neurocam continues to function in a lame, shadow-of-its-former-self kind of way)
Bought my first DVD player
Visited Sydney
Took LSD for the first time
Moved from a cupboard in St Kilda to a house in Fitzroy (the first house I have lived in for five years, fact fans)
Had a bit of a fucking breakdown
Collaborated in the creation of a singularly unsuccessful gated community for Neurocam graduates
Took mescaline for the first time, in the form of San Pedro cactus (and on two subsequent occasions)
Turned 30, legally speaking
Took ecstacy for the first time
Threw my first proper party (and my second)
Took magic mushrooms (and went to a soccer match) for the first time
Hosted my first Zenarchist Coffee Ceremony
Finally gave up and got a MySpace page
Spent Christmas in Geneva, Switzerland and new year in Manchester, England
Made my first album
Started my first business
Attempted (ultimately unsuccessfully) to write a 50,000-word novel in a month
Kept one ongoing blog, and co-created & contributed to another, for a combined output of 20,253 words, 344 photos, 10 videos & 31 audio recordings (comprising 16 songs, 12 audio messages, and 3 miscellaneous)
Wrote approximately 458,000 words of email to 92 recipients (& received approximately 506,000 words of email from 128 correspondents, not including machines)
Spent 164 hours at the gym
Held five ongoing paid jobs, of which I lost two, quit one, and currently retain two
Amongst other things

14 Comments

Filed under Art, Here Is The News, History, Life, NaNoWriMo, Neurocam, Self Analysis, Travel, Weblogs, Work

December 14, 2006 · 11:48 am

Vale Tript

*tips hat*

Sad day.

In other news, thank you to the anonymous person who ingeniously sent me this in a way I couldn’t respond to:

If you are who I think you are – you’re funny. And if I don’t know you, that’s even funnier.

Tell me – do you get curiously predictable headaches and phantom mice in your bed at 4am, too?

3 Comments

Filed under Art, Benevolence, Dreams, Evil, Heh, Night Time, Nothing, People, Weblogs

December 12, 2006 · 5:49 pm

Search Hit Of The Week

irresponsible whack “american psychiatric association”

Go off your meds, kids.

(and omg – update – happy birthday, toots!)

6 Comments

Filed under Evil, Here Is The News, Pimpage, Weblogs

November 30, 2006 · 9:14 pm

If You’re Happy And You Know It

Or alternately, if you’re miserable and you know it – and it’s just no good at all…

CLAP. YOUR. HANDS.

CLAP! CLAP!

If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really wanna show it,
If you’re happy and you know it… clap your hands!

CLAP! CLAP!

I feel better already.

Despite – he said, by way of explanation – the depressing fact that I have failed.

I am A Failure; one who has failed. That is What I Am.

CLAP! CLAP!

It’s the last day of November. And despite my best intentions, I have failed to write a 50,000-word novel.

I gave it a good old Aussie go, though. Really, truly did!

But I didn’t write 50,000 words – and I didn’t finish it. And it’s dead now. It doesn’t want to be worked on any more. It has become a stinky moribund dead project that pains me and makes me annoyed at myself. And it’s bad when you annoy yourself.

Winces, girds loins, drives a stake through its beloved heart.

It’s dead. RIP, first attempt at writing a novel.

The silver lining is, I’m actually well pleased with the 37,566 words I did write. They came out great.

CLAP! CLAP!

Which was really the problem. They were too good. Consequently, somewhere along the line, I forgot to not take myself seriously. Which is the whole big-thing point of NaNoWriMo. You can write a stupid 50,000 word novel in a month. But unless you are a bona fide literary genius, you can’t write a good one. Forget about it.

I’m tempted to quote Alanis Morrisette at this juncture. But for everyone’s sake, I shall abstain.

The point is: I’m, like, trying to be philosophical and shit. I feel pain now, but I know the venture was far from a dead loss. In the end, I got more out of it than I would have if I hadn’t undertaken it. And in any case, I’ve lost nothing. Just a ride. Etcetera.

CLAP! CLAP!

In other shittiness news, nobody but a handful of stalwarts – it seems – can come to our party.

Again, I don’t feel too bad about it. It’s getting towards That Time Of Year; everybody has lots of prior engagements. A bunch of people came to the last one – and most if not all appeared to genuinely have a good time. So it’s not like this is a sign that all our friends secretly hate our guts, or think our parties suck.

CLAP! CLAP!

Finally, congratulations are in order to Mr Tripto Deluxe, who jumped on board my NaNo bandwagon and then kicked my ass right off the damn thing by actually finishing his book.

Kudos to you, my friend. Kudos to you. No, I wouldn’t come to my party either. You have better things to do. Course you do. We’re not really going to kill you. That was totally, like, an empty threat. Course it was.

Love your work.

CLAP! CLAP!

Oh, man – that’s the shit, right there.

CLAP! CLAP!

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

CLAP! CLAP!

Excuse me, I have to be alone with my hands for a while.

2 Comments

Filed under Art, Benevolence, Damage Control, Failure, NaNoWriMo, People, Philosophica, Self Analysis, some do it fast, some do it better in smaller amounts, Weblogs

November 25, 2006 · 8:46 pm

Man, I Just, Like, Voted

I wasn’t planning to originally, but Semi talked me into it on the grounds that the Greens will likely take some seats away from serious politicians, which is always a good cause. I hope he is having fun at Earthcore. I imagine that he is.

I just voted for the Greens whilst tripping on leftover cactus, partly in his honor. I’m sure Bob Brown (with whom I once shared a taxi, whilst dressed as a giant koala – i’m sure it wasn’t just a dream) would not disapprove. I tried to imagine what John Howard would feel. I tried to imagine him feeling pain in some way. How I tried. But all I could see was him going “stupid hippies; ah well, *shrugs*, they will all self-destruct soon enough anyway”, and not understanding at all. Which kind of pissed me off, but did at least make me feel like, in some obscure way, I had not done entirely the wrong thing.

Now I am trying to decide whether to watch The Dark Crystal again. I fell asleep before the end last time.

~ has suggested to me that the girl Gelfling ultimately dies; but I feel sure that this cannot be the whole truth. Henson and Oz would not do that to me. They would not dare.

I will watch their silly movie, in any case. They can bring it. Doesn’t matter if the chick dies; the whole healed-crystal thing redundifies such petty concerns.

Yes, it does.

24 Comments

Filed under Art, Benevolence, Current Affairs, Damage Control, Desperation, Dreams, Drugs, Food, Genius, Heh, Here Is The News, Illusion Of Time, left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is, Life Is Good, Movies, Music, Night Time, Nothing, People, Pictures Of Lady J, Self Analysis, Sex, Weblogs, Whack

November 19, 2006 · 1:42 am

C’est L’Hamish

To make a Hamish, you will need:

Peach schnapps & vodka

Orange juice, sparkling apple juice and passionfruit juice (if you can find it)

Ice

Step One: Mix juices to taste.

Step Two: Add 1 shot of vodka and two shots of peach schnapps.

Step Three: Decant over ice. (The ice is important.)

Et Voila:

27 Comments

Filed under Art, Drunkenness, Photos, Pimpage, Weblogs

November 18, 2006 · 10:39 pm

The New Spirituality interests him.

If you have not yet discovered the genius that is Alcuin & Flutterby, perhaps now is the time.

Read My Friend Dave’s Blog

One of my oldest living friends – which is not to say that he’s really old, just that most of my friends dating from his era of my life have either died or I’m not friends with them any more – now has a blog.

He’s really good; I consider him a top-quality friend. If I were you, I would definitely give some serious consideration to the very real option of reading his blog.

It’s fun and it’s free, just like the Scientology personality test. Except even better, because your chances of being seduced into joining a dodgy pseudo-scientific quasi-religious cult created by a sadistic maniac that will brainwash you and take all your money are relatively small.

Read Dave’s blog.

2 Comments

Filed under History, People, Pimpage, Weblogs

November 9, 2006 · 2:58 am

In Other News

Everybody should watch The Hamish Show. I have been catching up on old ~~posts~~ episodes this evening; it is a great ~~blog~~ show.

This one in particular is the best ever!!

(In semi-related news: I just reinstated my notorious Neurocam-destroying post from February, in response to several requests I have received over the last little while. If you were wondering what all this ‘Phase Two’ malarky was really all about – there you go. It was me. I lit the Chicago Fire, I killed the baby Jesus etc. And this here should be considered my absolute final public word on the accursed subject of the Neurocam.)

Should I light my cherry cigar? I just can’t decide. I think it may be called for; it really is that good of a ~~post~~ episode.

UPDATE – I lit it. But I can’t take a picture, coz ~ has my camera again and there is no waking him at this hour of the morning.

Life, eh?

2nd UPDATE – And now someone is bashing on our front door, but I’m not going to answer it; it’s probably for him. Fuck it, they’re not going away and it’s getting on my nerves; I guess I will. I hope it is not Robin Hely. For his sake, obviously. Heh.

3rd UPDATE – It was ~’s friend Film Student Boy; he was incredibly drunk. He just came into my room and wouldn’t stop apologising, because he could see I didn’t really forgive him. So I had to look him in the eye and pretend that I didn’t mind him virtually bashing down our front door drunkenly at three o’clock in the morning, to make him go away the hell out of my room.

I wish I had some weed.

This cigar is no substitute.

4 Comments

Filed under Art, Evil, Genius, People, Weblogs

November 8, 2006 · 10:58 pm

Recent Correspondence

From: Trysting Fields Central Communications
To: JoBean
Date: 8 November 2006 10:45:32 PM

> 😀 I have enough trouble coming up with my own posts, m’dear.
> And you want me think of topics for you as well?

You seem to be doing okay.. slow but not short of content

> How about the fact that I went into a pet shop the other day and saw
> me some kittens.

You want me to post on *my* blog about what *you’ve* been up to? Tript‘s right.

> Yay kitten season!

Yay! I saw two cats fucking for the first time ever the other night; it was well surreal and shit

Everything is surreal at the moment; I blame the racing carnival

I was saying to LJ this morning: the streets are filled with outrageously drunk women in slutty dresses and ridiculous hats; singing, getting into fights, throwing up, falling over

At all hours of the day and night

No one bats an eye, that’s standard in Melbourne at this time of year

Freewheeling, zany-ass city that we are

I was trying to sell Melbourne to her

Do you think that will work?

> You should call those places again if you want one 😀

Thanks for the tip 😛

heh

But too busy! Too busy!

I have to catch up on Adam’s blog too, I haven’t read it for ages and ages and ages; his posts are gold but they’re too long

So much to do! So little weed. Indeed none at all; it’s becoming unacceptable

Get it sorted, “Johana”

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why we are still friends

You never send me flowers, you never have any weed when *I* need it

We may have to see about your license to practice if this whack continues

Much love,

4 Comments

Filed under Current Affairs, Desperation, Drugs, Heh, Life, People, Weblogs, Whack

October 27, 2006 · 4:21 pm

So, November Rolls Around Again

And, as previously advertised, I’m going to be spending much of it writing a 50,000 word novel. Wish me a broken leg. Heh.

I’m not sure how this will effect my blogging output; whether it’ll go completely dead, or through the roof, or stay basically the same, or grow into a (yet another) poignant and/or disturbing document of my progressive descent into total insanity, or what.

But I ‘spect we’ll find out!

9 Comments

Filed under History, NaNoWriMo, Weblogs

October 18, 2006 · 4:17 pm