This Week Has Been Crap

Well, it has. Not crap as in terrible, just crap as in nyeh. Total non-week. Except for Monday evening’s little Neuroventure, that was frikken awesome. Only interesting thing that’s happened all week. Pretty much getting on for the only thing I’ve done all week, of any note.

I went to the Henson exhibition again today. Well worth a second go. It’s great. No posters for sale! Must be a rights thing. Sucks.

I am still somewhat ill. It’s very tiresome.

I am going clothes shopping tomorrow. I hate clothes shopping. I find it almost impossible, especially in my current incarnation. But society (and the weather.. brr) dictates that one must have clothes.

The things I go through for you, The World.

Whoo, grumpy post.

I do have some good news. Remember how I wanted to work in a cinema? Well, I have an interview at the Jam Factory Village on Chapel Street on Monday. It’s certainly not my dream cinema job (I still fancy the Astor.. or the Nova.. mmm.. Nova..) but it’s a step in the right direction. And god knows, it would be a hell of a fuckload better than my present ‘job’.

They rang me up out of nowhere and did a preliminary interview over the phone whilst I was en route to the airport last Friday, which was kind of startling. Apparently I did alright though. In a way it was better than a conventional job interview (ie one you know about in advance) because I didn’t have time to get nervous.

What else?

I had this post on the launchpad about The Magus which is kind of grumpy too, so I might just drop it in here and have a great big ol’ grumpfest but actually.. nah, I’ll save it for tomorrow. Why not finish out the week in high grumpin’ style? It’s my blog, goddamnit.

Whatever, I’ll do what I want etc.

Here is a picture of Gwen Stefani:

Toilet + Gwen

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For some reason I’m half-watching this awful Mike Munro Chapelle Corby thing on Channel 9, and they’re running this zany ongoing phone poll about her guilt-slash-innocence.

Predictably enough, the innocent vote is steadily going up as the show progresses. It’s tracking how effectively it’s hypnotising its viewers, then telling them about it. Awesome.

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Signs

Bicycles Excepted
“Attention Tracey and Anne of Alma Road. Please contact Cezelia asap”

WHAT DO DENIAL ADDICTS THINK THEY ARE?
Answers on a postcard..

I NEED HELP

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Xul Is Dead

Long live Xul.

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Assignment MIA-0009/5 (Part 2)

So, at approximately 7:50 this evening, a white stretch limo pulled up outside the Belgian Beer Cafe on Moubray Street, Prahran, where two other operatives (one blogging, one not) and myself were waiting as instructed.

The driver ushered us inside. Two masked, silent Neurocam personnel sat at either end of a long seat facing a bar. The limo pulled out and we were each handed several documents (including two copies of a hefty engagement contract), a pen, and a set of headphones.

A laptop (one of those adorable baby powerbooks) had been placed on the bar, and instructions were delivered to us through it by way of a video address by a masked woman. Once she had finished speaking, an onscreen timer counted down the ten minutes we were given in which to examine the documents and complete certain tasks pertaining to them, which we did before being returned to our departure point.

Upon alighting from the limo we were each presented with an enigmatic souvenir.

Neurocam apple

We then proceeded into the Belgian Beer Cafe and had a drink.

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Neurocam Assignment MIA-0009/05

This long-awaited missive landed in my inbox on Thusday:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam Assignment – Monday May 16th 2005
Date: 12 May 2005 8:30:35 PM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

Please be aware that due to availability constraints you are requested to be available for an assignment relating to your offer of promotion on Monday May 16th between 7:30 and 8:30pm. This schedule is now compulsory, and any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

The exact timing and location and other operational requirements will be provided via the usual email communication during the day in question. Please advise immediately if this will be a problem for you. I can say, however, that the intended location you will need to travel to will be in the vicinity of [where I live].

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

As advised, that was followed this morning by this:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam International Assignment MIA – 0009/05
Date: 16 May 2005 10:06:04 AM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

This evening, Monday May 16, 2005, at 7:45 pm precisely, you are to be at the following location: [public location in the inner south of Melbourne]

Be wearing your Neurocam Identifier if it is in operational condition. If it is not in operational condition you must display evidence of your Neurocam membership.

Your attendance is compulsory and you must come alone. Any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

Regarding operational security: you are permitted to publicly note the purpose of the assignment, and it impact on you as an operative of Neurocam International, and describe the events involved in the assignment, but you are not permitted to reveal the details of any messages, conversations, documents, reports, or other communications beyond the two preparatory assignment arrangement emails.

I trust you will understand and abide by the intent of these security requirements. Further security guidelines will be provided as required and relevant to the issues and eventualities arising out of this evening’s assignment.

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

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And That Was The End Of That

The parental farewell party in Canberra went well. But I felt very numb all weekend; couldn’t really get my head around what was happening. It didn’t seem real.

It doesn’t seem right for such a significant change to occur whilst I’ve still got one foot in the void. My family home where I spent so many years of my life has just ceased to exist, and it’s like I missed the whole thing. It’s sad.

Microphone
I found my microphone.

New jeans
And I got some new jeans.

As predicted the highlight of the trip was seeing my youngest sister, who’s very special. We have a complex history. She’s been an incredible bitch to me on a fair number of occasions without ever saying sorry. I think I’ve damaged her quite badly in some ways, although I didn’t mean to. She’s never entirely gotten over certain things, even after four years.

But for all our history, I still love her so much and probably always will. I fantasize sometimes that one day we will be the best of friends again, and make art together happily ever after. Maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t know.

She seems to be doing alright. Although she has developed a serious text messaging addiction.

SMSin' 1 message recieved

After the party on Saturday night, we played traditional stoned cards in my old room. It wasn’t like the old days at all, but it was nice.

I lead a pretty psychological life.. I think most people do

Cards Bong

Red walls 1 Red walls 2
I painted these walls red after I got home from Wales at the beginning of 2000.

Twilight balcony

That is all.

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Home Again, Home Again

Spiggeldy spog.

Just got in. Feel drained and overwhemingly sad. But once again it feels very nice to be home. And enormously weird that it feels like this is my home.

But it is. I have no home at home anymore. Canberra is an alien place with no home to go to which fills me with sadness.

Sad, sad; feel very sad. La la la. Sad, sad, sad.

Took lots of pictures. Spect I’ll post some tomorrow.

I wonder what this week will be like.

Something interesting is happening tomorrow evening.

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The Troops Are Getting Restless

Dissatisfaction abroad in the Neuroranks: Jo rants, Lady J agrees (as does Simon Blackmoore), Li flakes out, and Reanimator drops the bomb.

R’s articulate points aside I wonder how much all of this really has to do with the ‘Cam itself, and how much of it is down to frustration at all the timewasting, bandwagon-hijacking idiots who seem to have gravitated towards it over the last little while.

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Dissatisfied with being a virtual recluse?

Well, get out more. So sayeth the Reani-man, pragmatically enough, and sound advice it is too.

(Actually I’m not a virtual recluse; many of my online personas are the quite social butterflies..)

I had lunch today at Lentil As Anything, a funny little vegan cafe on Blessington Street with an appealingly unpretentious boho vibe and an innovative “pay whatever the fuck you feel like” pricing policy. Here is someone else blogging about it in a manner which captures the tone quite nicely.

Lentil Burger
I had a lentil burger with satay sauce (and a lasse), and paid $15

Last night I was going to go a talk by photographer Bill Henson (not to be confused with the late Jim Henson), who is good, at the Ian Potter Centre (the NGV‘s secondary premises at Federation Square, housing Australian art – which, shamefully, I only discovered existed last week whilst executing Neurocam Assignment 5555/01). They are currently hosting a major Henson retrospective.

Unfortunately I missed the talk because I got on the wrong tram. Stupid wrong tram.

This weekend I’m making another flying visit to Canberra; my folks are throwing a farewell party before upping stakes to Switzerland. My previous visit – see archive – was a bit of a downer and I’m not particularly looking forward to it, but I will at least get to hang with my beloved baby sister, who is travelling all the way from the far reaches of darkest Queensland for the occasion.

My baby sister, M
“You know why the lemmings fly from high terrain..“

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Actually, You Know, I Quite Like Public Transport

But it can be restrictive.

On 04/05/2005, at 5:02 PM, Charles Hastings (operations@neurocam.com) wrote:
Specific times and your personal transport status are also required.

Sorry Charlie..

Tram stop (night) Tram stop (day)

Tramlines & skyscraper

Tram ticket robot Tram handrails

Bag on tram Old tram interior Tram prohibitions

Balaclava Station

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Assignment NTC-5555/01 Completed

Flinders Lane Gallery

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Fischer in LA (part 2) & The Matrix @ The Astor

Mail from Madeline Khan:

I hereby confirm that Ms. Bridget Fischer is currently traveling abroad and that the west coast of the United States of America is one of her many intended destinations. Furthermore, I can confirm that I am the author of the email recently reproduced upon Operative Midnight’s web journal.

Also, Melbournites: The Matrix is screening at the Astor in St Kilda tomorrow night. Never seen it in a cinema before. Bit exciting. I’m certainly not the only Cammer who’s a fan of this movie; anyone else thinking of going?

I’ll be wearing my identifier..

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I’ve Cleared My Inbox

I had unanswered emails dating back to February 22nd.

I feel so virtuous right now I could just die.

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*aaatch..* Avery, Xul & Urik; Fischer in LA; Moncrief Full Of Shit: Zelle; Vale Aliask and Assignment 5555/01 *..hoo!!*

Been very slack on the bloggage front of late; touch of flu and not much worth reporting. Apologies.

Everything looks exceptionally hazy in Camland at present. The Neurowiki (Wikicam?) appears to be coming along nicely but if its objective is to serve as a source for accurate info, I kind of wonder if it isn’t a doomed project. As is the case more often than not, the line between fact and fiction’s so blurry right now that the distinction seems almost irrelevant.

Avery‘s supposedly arrived here in Melbourne. But with his previous post he seems to have warped into the Xulosphere. (Hi Avery, if you’re reading this and you really are in town. Feel free to invalidate my skepticism.)

Meanwhile I – and presumably others – have received a mail purportedly from Xul’s associate Urik, advising that Mr. Solar has gone into hiding and ceased all internet communications, although he remains “in excellent physical and mental health”. Which is reassuring.

I’ve lodged an enquiry regarding Midnight‘s claims about Fischer’s trip to LA. His latest entry, quoting a mail from Madeline Khan, suggests that there is genuinely something going down there, even if it is just more smoke and, y’know, mirrors.

Gertrude Zelle has told tobyesterhase aka Operative Cronin that Marc Moncrief’s legendary Age article, responsible for introducing many a Melbourne operative (including this one) to the ‘Cam, is “a potentially slanderous fiction, complied by him from half-truths, materials of questionable veracity and blatant lies.” Cronin intends to contact Moncrief about this accusation, which might prove interesting.

In other news, one of my local neuroblogging contemporaries, Aliask (Perception Assessment class of January 3rd – here’s his, here’s a mine.. ah, the good old days etc) has retired; apparently he couldn’t be arsed with Assignment 5555/01, and I don’t think he’s the only one.

But, good little operative that I am, I faithfully completed the bulk of mine on Friday; hopefully I’ll be able to finish it off on Tuesday.

Cold & flu tablets

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