Neurocam.com is still ‘down’.
UPDATE: This bodes ill.
Category Archives: Neurocam
Fischer Stands Aside, Khan Terminated
Didn’t see this coming.
From: bridget.fischer@neurocam.com
Subject: Farewell
Date: 12 July 2005 12:48:02 PMAttention all staff and operatives.
Earlier today, notice was sent to the Board of Directors for Neurocam International of my decision to temporarily vacate the office of Chief Executive Officer for Neurocam International due to what I feel to be a potential conflict of interest. The Board has accepted my request for temporary leave and will announce an acting CEO as soon as a suitable replacement is found. My leave will be effective immediately (Tuesday, July 12, 2005).
Furthermore, Neurocam International has terminated the commission of Ms. Madeline Khan, Assistant to the CEO, effective immediately. I hereby wish Ms. Khan all the best with her future endeavors.
No further correspondence will be entered into regarding these matters.
Ms. Khan’s e-mail address will be inactivated immediately. My e-mail account shall remain active for fourteen days and all correspondence from it will be forwarded directly to the Head of Operations, Mr. Charles Hastings until such time as my successor is announced.
Regards,
Bridget Fischer
CEO
Neurocam International
Anyone know what’s going on?
Filed under Neurocam
Sneak Preview: Neurocam Spring Promotional Range
Available September 2005*
The Neurotoaster
The Neurotoilet
The Neurophone
(also available in contemporary pushbutton model)
The Neurodog
The Limited Edition NeuroiPod Mini (first 100 units personally autographed by the Chief Executive Officer)
*NB: not really
I’m Not The Architect Of Neurocam: Robin Hely
Robin Hely‘s comment is acknowledged.
UPDATE: American Guy points out that Hely’s bio on the Conical site has changed.
Filed under Neurocam
Sidebar Updatage
Tobyesterhase aka Steve Cronin and Roger That have upped stakes.
And Urchin X seems to have died.
This Just In: Robin Hely Is The Architect of Neurocam
… or so he claims… according to some website linked by an anonymous commenter at American Guy’s.
Founded in August 2001, Conical Inc is a non-profit contemporary art centre directed by Adrien Allen with support from a core committee of 6 practising artists.
One of whom is none other than La Hely:
Robin Hely has had a checkered career as an artist working mainly in the medium of deception. The last five years has seen him masquerading as a missing person, attempting to deliver a 1m x 2.5m parcel to unknown recipients in Oporto Portugal, filling up Conical gallery with cardboard boxes, going on a blind date wearing a hidden camera and setting up a secret underground organization dedicated to altering the perceptions of its participants.
Hely was born on a sheep farm somewhere in New Zealand and purchased a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Photography on the internet during 1993. After traversing the globe and learning the trade of a fine artist he returned to New Zealand to study. Following the erection of two billboards in conjunction with a spurious advertising campaign he was awarded a Masters in Fine Arts with distinction.
Hely now resides somewhere in Victoria and has developed a penchant for wearing masks.
And they’re right here in Fitzroy.
UPDATE – Tript‘s remarks are acknowledged.
Filed under Neurocam
Awesome Epic Bloggy/Neurocam Dream
I dreamt last night that I was Scarlett Johansson in a futuristic, Blade Runner-esque version of Tokyo.
An amalgam of Lindsay Lohan and baby sis’s obnoxious former housemate Anna (who looks – and behaves – quite a lot like Lindsay Lohan) was trying to kill me, ostensibly because she disagreed with my stance on the war in Iraq – although there was some suggestion that she was in fact an agent of the Circle de Luce, and possibly Constance incognito.
An amalgam of JoJo aka Johana and 14-year-old pop starlet JoJo (heavily pregnant and smoking like a bastard, natch) had been assigned by the mythical, non-existent organization Fiat Nox to protect me.
JoJo/JoJo eventually took out Lindsay Lohan/Anna/Constance with a sniper rifle from a rooftop, then immediately went into labour. I had to fly her to hospital in a helicopter, causing me tremendous anxiety because I was not technically allowed to fly a helicopter without a fully licensed helicopter pilot riding shotgun. But it felt like the least I could do.
I can’t remember what happened after that. I think I may have crashed the helicopter into a building. But we both came out of it alright.
Deadsoybean appeared as a shadowy double-agent of ambiguous motives.
The role of Bill Muwway was played with infinite worldweariness – and serious delirium – by Avery Cardoza.
And comic relief was provided by Cheshire Cat, who appeared as an endearing idiot man-child constantly asking strange and irrelevant questions. Occasionally he would also sing Wesley Willis classics such as Fuck You and Cut That Mullet. These interludes were mounted in the style of elaborate Bollywood production numbers.
In the end, the whole situation turned out to have been deliberately engineered by machiavellian Melblogerati queen Ms Fits, so that she could adapt it into a tv show, then post about how clever she’d been.
H Is For House
Moved into my sister’s place this arvo. It’s great here. I feel like I’m on holidays.
Pretty much everything I have to say today I’ve already said in a comment at Desci’s.
She’s wonderful.
Oh, and Melbourne operative Rorschach has delivered on the nekkid dog pics, and earned his pimp. Check out his blog, it’s not half bad at all.
Finally, as spotted by Tript “don’t call me Tript, it’s weird” Tript, Neurocam.com has changed. Those without freakishly wide screens will want to grab the black bar at the top and scroll along to the right.
The beloved disclaimer screed is gone, replaced by the single phrase “Neurocam is not what you expect.”
How do they know?
Gagblat in “Not Loved By Anybody” Shock
My esteemed colleague Henry Gagblat is an insufferable whinger, but I do feel his pain, because I’m very sensitive and stuff – and also because I’m quite a lonely soul myself. Unlike him, though, I question the utility of using one’s blog to howl into the void about it.
I have done so on occasion, but it didn’t help.
I expect he brought it upon himself, anyway.
Some People Find These “Weblogs” To Be A Waste Of Time
But I don’t believe in time, so it’s not a concern I share.
If, six months ago, you’d told me I’d one day be using this blog as an excuse procrastinate on the execution of actual proper Neurocam business, I’d have told you to get t’fuck – but that, dear readers, is the situation you find me in this evening. It feels very odd.
I’ve been pimping other peoples’ blogs of late; now I’m gonna pimp a kebab shop, which also feels odd. Ali Baba – an institution in my native Canberra – has just opened an outlet on Fitzroy Street and I’m so glad. I’ve patronised it twice already this week. I instinctively feel the urge to post a pic of the screwed-up wrapper of the first-rate chicken kebab I just consumed, but alas I have no camera anymore.
(Which is really no good, incidentally. I worry about the future of the ‘Fields – for the first time since I started it I have no embryonic posts in reserve, no camera so I can’t just take random pics and throw ’em up.. and Neurocam have effectively all but silenced me by way of promotion. So, if anyone has any novel ideas for posts – please, let’s hear ’em.)
As fate would have it, the manager of this Ali Baba is none other than the guy who used to manage their establishment in Garema Place, where I was at one time a very regular customer. He greeted me warmly and we exchanged witheringly disparaging remarks about the Can’, as is customary amongst ex-residents. It was great. All I need now is billies and baby sis (mmmmmmm….. billies….), and it would be like I never left. But, you know, in a really good way – because, in fact, I have.
Another thing I’m putting off even as I type is cleaning my flat, a process which is half-finished (the place is in complete disarray – don’t see pic, not attached) and needs must be completed post haste as I am shortly to be vacating for a month. I’m gonna be housesitting for boringly-grown-up-sis from next Tuesday whilst she is away meeting her fiance’s folks in Sweden.
I’ll have a whole house to myself – but for Sammy – and as I was saying to the two neuroblogerati luminaries (one of whom famously described Canberra as “a nice place to die”) with whom I partook of a most pleasant and interesting coffee or two earlier in the evening, I’d really love to bring Tahiti to Fitzroy and throw a bitchin’ Neuroparty (would Robin Hely come, I wonder?). Confoundingly, however, I just spoke to the lady of the house and she blew this idea straight out of the water point blank, supposedly on the grounds that there is too much expensive photography equipment lying around the place.
Yeah right.
That’s the last time I pimp your goddamn cruddy half-finished website, bitch.
Hmph.
(long pause)
Oh well.
Graham Is Back
And it sounds like he’s had quite an interesting month. Although not in a Neurocam-related way, of course.
Also, I just heard from Melbourne Wintermute, who some will remember from Bolte Bridge etc. He’s had put his operative status on hold due to other commitments but hopes to be rejoining the ranks later in the month.
Writing Under The Influence
UK operative Alexis has seduced me with the promise of nekkid dog pictures (I know, I’m too easy) into plugging her blog.
Check it out; she has a more impressive scar than mine.