That’s what the figures say – I double checked. But it doesn’t seem to be correct.
Most of the time I feel about 20. And in some ways I feel very, very old.
But I don’t feel 29. Soon I will be as old as Lady J, and she’s, like, thirty.
I cannot possibly be one birthday away from turning 30.
There has to have been a mixup somewhere. That’s the only plausible explanation. I’m making enquiries. I may have to call my lawyer.
Who do you sue for being erroneously 29, anyway? I’m not even sure. I hope it’s someone on the Federal frontbench. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate those fucks? Ruddock, Costello, Howard, Vanstone, fucking Downer, fucking Abbott. I would pay serious money to see them all eaten by a pack of wild dogs. I really would. Cunts.