Introduction, Part the 4th: The Uni-Precipitated Meltdown

My course at Melbourne Uni started at the beginning of March, four weeks ago.

I’d been looking forward to it, but at the same time felt enormously uncertain. About whether I could find the self-discipline to make a go of it. About whether it was really what I wanted to be doing. And uncertain about how, given how much of my time and energy was already consumed with simply coping (after a fashion), I would manage the workload.

I wondered whether I was just kidding myself in imagining that it was a realistic thing to attempt at my present juncture.

I enjoyed the furniture of it all. Buying stationary, going to lectures. Being a Student. But my fears were well-founded; by the end of Week 3 was falling behind and starting to panic. By the middle of Week 4, I was becoming a nervous wreck.

I decided, after some soul-searching, to withdraw, or at least defer until next year.

It felt surprisingly good.

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