To be assessed by a recruitment agency who are going to get me a (slightly more) lucrative job in a stupid callcentre.
Wish me luck!!
Category Archives: Work
Ambitions
Someone asked me what my ambitions were the other day. I can’t remember what I told them, but I should have said:
- To work in a streetcorner newsbooth.
- To become a cult leader by rising to the front ranks of Neurocam and then either taking it over, or creating a sizeable splinter group.
- To write a novel, which I am doing in November.
- To make an album, provisionally entitled “Everyone’s Too Stupid”, which I will do next year when I have more time.
- To study for and obtain a degree in Creative Arts from Melbourne’s premier university, guaranteeing me a colourful and lucrative subsequent career as a Creative Artist.
- To finish reading “The Magus” by John Fowles, and then to ritually burn it.
- To have fun and not care about people.
- To be beautiful.
- To be loved.
Other things I want:
- An umbrella.
- A preamping device for my microphone.
- A Bigpond Movies membership.
- A region-free DVD player.
- A better camera.
- Peter Greenaway DVDs.
- See also: Amazon wishlist.
I Want To Work In A Streetcorner Newsbooth
Seriously. How do you get a job in one of those?
I’d be great. I could keep my toe in the communications industry, without compromising my integrity. And it would sound cool, too. “Oh, I work in a streetcorner newsbooth.” “Wow, that must be interesting; what do you do there?” “Well, I sell news.”
I can just see it.
I still want to work in a cinema. Longer-term readers will remember my ill-fated encounter with Village a while ago, which was disheartening. I haven’t approached any others, partly coz I’m too shy, and partly because the dearth of proper, livable-off positions in the field is somewhat demotivating. Maybe I should, though.
I don’t know.
Work! *throws up hands*
Things They Made Us Do At My Group Interview At The Jam Factory Village Yesterday
- All fifteen or so applicants were left to wait awkwardly around silently eyeing each other up for over 25 fun-filled minutes.
- We were given bingo-style cards with boxes containing phrases like “Has a sister”, “Plays a musical instrument” “Is currently reading a novel”, “Plays sport competitively” etc, and instructed to mingle and aquire signiatures from six fellow applicants in boxes whose phrases applied to them.
- Each of us had to stand up and tell the assembled company what our favourite movie was and why, what “our goal” was, and our most embarrassing moment. I was the only person who couldn’t think of a most embarrassing moment.
- We were given transcripts of three hypothetical staff-customer interaction scenarios, divided into groups of three and instructed to discuss how well or badly each situation was handled. One nominee from each group was then required to give a short statement of the group’s findings.
- We were given eight minutes in which to complete a short standardised maths test. I only finished about a third of it. So did the guy next to me, though.
- We were herded outside again and then called in three at a time to participate in two one-on-one roleplay exercises. These involved assimilating a sheet describing the two scenarios and some relevant information about protocols etc. I did everything right on a fuctional level but I kind of fucked up the presentation aspect of it, since by this point all I could think about was how badly I wanted the whole thing to be over.
I think the experience of participating in recent Neurocam group assignments was beneficial. The vibe of vague dread and menace engendered by the mysterious nature of the Cam was substituted with standard job-interview dread and menace, but in other respects it was an eerily similar kind of experience.
Unhappily, I miscalculated the number of pages of The Magus I had left to read. It was actually 300. Now it’s 274.
This Week Has Been Crap
Well, it has. Not crap as in terrible, just crap as in nyeh. Total non-week. Except for Monday evening’s little Neuroventure, that was frikken awesome. Only interesting thing that’s happened all week. Pretty much getting on for the only thing I’ve done all week, of any note.
I went to the Henson exhibition again today. Well worth a second go. It’s great. No posters for sale! Must be a rights thing. Sucks.
I am still somewhat ill. It’s very tiresome.
I am going clothes shopping tomorrow. I hate clothes shopping. I find it almost impossible, especially in my current incarnation. But society (and the weather.. brr) dictates that one must have clothes.
The things I go through for you, The World.
Whoo, grumpy post.
I do have some good news. Remember how I wanted to work in a cinema? Well, I have an interview at the Jam Factory Village on Chapel Street on Monday. It’s certainly not my dream cinema job (I still fancy the Astor.. or the Nova.. mmm.. Nova..) but it’s a step in the right direction. And god knows, it would be a hell of a fuckload better than my present ‘job’.
They rang me up out of nowhere and did a preliminary interview over the phone whilst I was en route to the airport last Friday, which was kind of startling. Apparently I did alright though. In a way it was better than a conventional job interview (ie one you know about in advance) because I didn’t have time to get nervous.
What else?
I had this post on the launchpad about The Magus which is kind of grumpy too, so I might just drop it in here and have a great big ol’ grumpfest but actually.. nah, I’ll save it for tomorrow. Why not finish out the week in high grumpin’ style? It’s my blog, goddamnit.
Whatever, I’ll do what I want etc.
Here is a picture of Gwen Stefani:
Work
Sooner or later I’m going to have to get another job. I’d like to work in a cinema. Concomitant to liking movies, I like cinemas. I’ve worked in two previously.
Firstly this one, from 1997 to 1999. I was also apprenticed to the projectionist there for a while. Prior to discovering Peter Greenaway at the age of 14 and deciding I wanted to be a film director, my ambition was to become a lighthouse keeper. Lighthouse keeping is a dead profession, alas, but I reckoned projectionism would be the next best thing. In some ways even better; lighthouse keepers can’t splice single frames of pornography into children’s films. Unfortunately what with increased automation, not to mention the inevitable imminent digitalisation of cinema exhibition, it’s also a dying trade.
Subsequently, in London, I worked at this incredibly cool and scruffy old revival house in Hampstead called the Everyman. It’s since been sold and upmarketed beyond all recognition, which is sad.
The downside of seeking employment in a cinema is that it will involve cold canvassing, which – shy & retiring semi-recluse that I’ve become – fills me with unholy dread. Also, I don’t really feel like I’ve been taking enough interest in movies lately to be very convincing as a prospective cinema employee.
(Digression: Didn’t get to Sideways, due to its timing being misadvertised; saw The Life Aquatic instead. It wasn’t great, but it was unique, and had a number of absolutely classic moments. And it looked really nice as well.)
One of the great virtues of my current job is that pretty much anything would be a step up from it, so I’m not hidebound by snobbery. I’m easy. As long as it doesn’t involve really severe public humiliation, or cold-call telemarketing. Or wearing a suit, goddammit.
All of this is theoretical at the moment, though, coz I’m going to Canberra next weekend before hitting the employment trail.