Katie Holmes Speed-Brainwashed by Scientology?

(Via ausculture.)

This is all a bit tabloidy (I never thought I’d link a story from Fox News except for the purposes of ridiculing it), way below the usual high standards rigorously maintained here at Trysting Fields, but I’ve long been fascinated by the bonkers sci-fi megacult of Scientology, and I’m more than a little intruiged by this report:

Sometime that week, her friends say, [Holmes] flew to Los Angeles for a meeting [ie her first] with Cruise about a role in “Mission: Impossible 3.” The meeting took place after April 11.

The next time anyone heard from Holmes was on April 27, when she appeared in public as Cruise’s girlfriend and love of his life.

Where was she during those 16 days?

Somewhere during that time, she decided to fire both her manager and agent, each of whom she had been with for years and who were devoted to her.

What’s more, according to Radar Online, Holmes was not Cruise’s first choice.

For some more routine Scieno zaniness, RO also offers this excerpt from a standard-issue COS security questionnaire, featuring wacklicious questions – some of which are presumably addressed to one’s malevolent body thetans – such as:

  • Have you ever driven anyone insane?
  • Have you ever killed the wrong person?
  • Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
  • Have you systematically set up mysteries?
  • Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
  • Have you ever smothered a baby?
  • Do you deserve to have any friends?
  • Do you deserve to be enslaved?
  • Have you ever castrated anyone?
  • Have you ever zapped anyone?
  • Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?

And my favourite:

  • Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?

I heart The Church Of Scientology. Just keep it far, far away from me.

7 Comments

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7 Responses to Katie Holmes Speed-Brainwashed by Scientology?

  1. ‘I heart The Church Of Scientology. Just keep it far, far away from me.’
    Hee! Perfect Summation. xo

  2. I thought ‘wacklicious’ was rather apt. And now I can’t join until i work out how to make a planet disappear so it registers as a lie when i say “no”.

  3. Don’t worry – unless you’re being fast-tracked like the lucky Ms Holmes, they’d never give this to you as a new recruit. You’d think they were nuts!

  4. I already think they are nuts. I just want to make a planet dissappear. It would look good on my CV.

  5. Well, I can tell you – but it’ll cost you $500,000 and your complete and unquestioning loyalty for the next 15 billion years.

  6. I try to make the physical universe less real every day. Should I be watching out for rabid Scientologists?

  7. Always.
    I and a friend were once approached by a street-corner Scieno hustler..
    “Hi, would you like to take a free personality test?” etc
    To which my companion replied, absolutely without blinking: “Well, no, not today – d’you know what I’d *really* like? I’d like to join a predatory, quasi-religious, pseudo-scientific organisation created by a nutcase that will brainwash me and take all my money. I don’t suppose you could reccommend a good one?”
    The personality tester apparently didn’t even get it. They were completely undeterred; they just took this response as more evidence that she needed a free personality test.

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