Cactus Postscript

The cactus suggested, amongst other things, that I should return to life and start blogging here again, although it’s simultaneously rendered me kind of speechless. In a good way.

Perverse. I blame myself for eating a psychoactive cactus during a Mercury Retrograde cycle. Heh.

Actually I don’t.

I have no regrets. It was ace.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens.

What have you been up to lately?

12 Comments

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12 Responses to Cactus Postscript

  1. Li

    I’ve just taken time out from a workout to type this. I’m currently working on shoulders. I started with 35kg military presses, then moved on to dumbbell presses – 15kg each arm. I then do one arm butterfly lifts of 7 kilo each, then my next set will be straight arm raises where each arm hold onto one dumbbell, then lifts up with arms outstretched. 17.5 kilo for that one. 4 sets each exercise. Drinking water, listening to Ships Of Fools by World Party on the ol’ iTunes.
    I met with some old high school buddies last night who have promised to teach me a form of kung fu. I’ve forgotten the name but that starts on Tuesday night.
    I’ve been meditating a lot and reading a lot from Ken Wilber. I’m trying to grasp his integral approach to human consciousness. It seems to make intuitive sense to me, but i’m only begining and haven’t reached a stage where i can offer much criticism. I always find i can gauge my development from the stages I outgrow. I’m just starting on my Ken Wilber stage right now.
    I’ve been going out a lot, mainly to bars in and around the city. I rarely drink and never take drugs anymore so i find myself driving a lot. Living so far away, I find it so freeing to go out and know that if a place is shit, i can just drive somewhere else, instead of having to worry about getting a taxi or something. I’m not having nearly as much fun without being drunk or drug fucked, but I’m appreciating social gatherings in a different way, and if I can become a more social person, and rid myself of illusory fears that i harbour, I’m sure the kundalini serpent will snake its way up my spine in response to my will inside environments I had previously targeted ‘hostile’.
    I have recently re-instigated a friendship with the only girl I’ve ever loved and the only girl to have broken my heart. She told me a story about her last boyfriend who turned out to be schizophrenic and attacked her at her house by punching his arm through the glass in her front door as she was trying to close it. She was bleeding while he was yelling into the house that he was going to come in there and fuck her sister, who was standing, scared and crying in another part of the house. He’s now in a mental institution. As she told me the story I had visions of beating him to a pulp.
    As for the rekindled friendship, my heart is a lot stronger now, as is my whole being really, so things are fine and quite positive. She comes out with me and my friends and helps us pick up.
    Girls can open doors that are locked to guys. It’s amazing to watch.
    I’ve stopped writing in my blog and consider it finished. I may start again somewhere else one day.
    I’ve tried out a program called secondlife, an online 3d world of chat and so much more.
    Oh and I got a proper hair cut for the first time in 7 years a week or so ago.
    All in all, I feel stronger and more positive than I can remember.
    And that’s what I’ve been doing.

  2. Sad

    Why has/is everyone quitting the blogging?
    Teigan! Listen to da magical cactus! It speaks wisely!
    Li, don’t quit blogging, I like your blog and it’s not every day I say that I like someones blog!
    🙁 🙁 🙁
    Come on peeeeeeeopllleee.

  3. teigan

    Li:
    Comprehensive response. That’s what we like to see.
    >I’ve just taken time out from a workout to type this.
    Do you have, like, a private gym or something? Or just a set of weights? I miss weights. But I told you that story, didn’t I. Next week.
    >Ships Of Fools by World Party
    <3
    >I’m just starting on my Ken Wilber stage right now.
    Like I said, dunno about Wilber (like, I really don’t) but in any case it sounds like a healthy progression from that Mystery Method thing…
    >I have recently re-instigated a friendship with the only
    >girl I’ve ever loved and the only girl to have broken my
    >heart.
    Been doing that lately too (only girl to have broken my heart, anyways.. in the romantic sense) – it’s good!
    >Girls can open doors that are locked to guys.
    Can’t they just..
    >It’s amazing to watch.
    And to learn from (in some aspects).
    >As she told me the story I had visions of beating him to a pulp.
    Can sympathise – but at the same time I suspect being labelled schizophrenic and consigned to a mental institution is probably all the punishment he (or anyone) deserves.
    >All in all, I feel stronger and more positive than
    >I can remember.
    Excellent to hear.
    Nada:
    >Why has/is everyone quitting the blogging?
    I think it has to do with there being no Neurocam anymore to tie everyone together. That’s partly what post-op.org was supposed to be about.
    But as the semi-relaunched Reanimator recently commented, blogs are back.
    Mine is, at least. I think. We’ll see what happens.
    Li’s will be missed. I’ve just pulled a copy of the whole thing for reference in case he takes it down. But we all gotsta do what we gotsta do, dun we.
    >Teigan! Listen to da magical cactus! It speaks wisely!
    It does!

  4. Li

    Do you have, like, a private gym or something? Or just a set of weights? I miss weights. But I told you that story, didn’t I. Next week.
    I’ve got weights, yeah. Also work out with a mate at his house twice a week. Pretty kick ass home gym.
    Like I said, dunno about Wilber (like, I really don’t) but in any case it sounds like a healthy progression from that Mystery Method thing…
    Not really a progression. Wilber’s attempt is to provide a map of conscious developement, of which, Mystery Method, or Real Socail Dynamics, or Pickup101 would all be a part of.
    People don’t develop in a linear way. Different areas or developmental lines of our conscious grow at different rates, all independant of each other. As for myself, social interaction has always been something i’ve struggled with. I grew up the inner psuedo goth who stood in teh shadows and observed. For me to change that, things like Mystery Method et al, are great techniques and disciplines to master. Kind of like a mental martial art.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPEvLEK6QsE&NR
    Can sympathise – but at the same time I suspect being labelled schizophrenic and consigned to a mental institution is probably all the punishment he (or anyone) deserves.
    I have all the sympathy in the world for people whose perception of reality differs from the norm and therefor, impacts their way of life negatively, until they themselves act out violently. This guy blames his perceptions on the fact that he’s reaching the supposed 2nd vibrational level of spirituality or something. According to him, the guardians of that realm were testing him to see if he could be granted access. He has admited to doctors that he does indeed suffer from schozophrenia, but has only done so to help get released. I really fear for my friend, and if he ever tries anything like that again, i wont be averse to re-iniating him to the material world via a blunt object to the face.
    Nada:
    Cheers, big ears. I’m glad you liked my blog and it was fun to write in for a long time. But it has since become a little bit of a drag so i figure i should stop until i find it enjoyable again. It also, I think, helped solidify too many negative perceptions that i have of myself. Trying to shed that. Trying to build teh happiness you know?

  5. Nada Awad

    Mmmmmmmmmm… ok. 🙁
    Be happy. 😀

  6. teigan

    >For me to change that, things like Mystery Method et al, are great
    >techniques and disciplines to master. Kind of like a mental martial
    >art.
    I must confess I find the whole MM thing kind of whack, but I can certainly follow your reasoning.
    >I have all the sympathy in the world for people whose perception of
    >reality differs from the norm
    This is a subtle and interesting debate, but too hot to have here. We can continue it via email if you want.
    It’s worthy noting that the reality of ‘the norm’ – which is to say, that enforced by dominant social power structures – wouldn’t regard this person as being responsible for their own actions. So if you’re gonna talk about a ‘normal perception of reality’, for consistency’s sake you probably shouldn’t either.
    Although I’m not sure I agree with that way of slicing things, I do think that a person who’s perceiving the world in an extremely idiosyncratic way (and, yeah, not necessarily by conscious choice) can only reasonably be expected do what seems necessary to them, based on the data they’re receiving from their brain.
    I’m not saying that initiating violence and/or unsolicitedly scaring the fuck out of people is cool; it certainly ain’t. But that’s why we have social mechanisms (both institutional and instinctive) that will do their very best to shut a person down in response to that kind of behaviour.
    And if that person’s actions are judged ‘crazy’, the PTB will also slap a leperously stigmatising label on them, take away all their adult rights, generally completely ruin their life etc, until they’re willing and able to demonstrate that their perceptions are Reformed.
    It works out.

  7. A G

    oh, so you’re alive again?
    What will happen to mishuki now that teigan has regained control of the host?

  8. teigan

    I do wish you’d pay attention, AG. 🙂 I’ve been on my way back for ages.
    And now I’ve arrived. It feels good.
    >What will happen to mishuki now that teigan has regained
    >control of the host?
    The host’s a flexible entity. Mishuki’ll do his thing; I’ll do mine. We seem to get along well enough.

  9. Li

    I must confess I do find the whole MM thing kind of whack, but I can certainly follow your reasoning here.
    What do you find whack about it?
    This is a subtle and interesting debate, but too hot to have here. We can continue it via email if you want.
    Too hot to have here? Man, this place has red light district semiotically imprinted all over it! I just used to the term “semiotically imprinted”. I own that now.
    When it comes to this topic, I respect your opinion becuase i’m sure you know much more about it than I, especially having worked somewhat in the industry way back – but just wanted to clear up a couple of points.
    It’s worthy noting that the reality of ‘the norm’ – which is to say, that enforced by dominant social power structures…
    When I used the term, “the norm”, I wasn’t refering to dominant power structures. “The norm” in my intended usage = that which is agreed upon by the overwhelming majority. For instance, 100 people are standing in a circle looking at an object in the middle. 99 people describe the object as a tree, 1 person describes seeing a talking purple sock riding a uni-legged rainbow unicorn. I would say that 1 person is outside the norm. The perception of the tree isn’t forced on the people, it’s just what 99 equally powerful/less people see. Maybe they’re all wrong…maybe Goerge Bush is a genius etc…
    …I do think that a person who’s perceiving the world in an extremely idiosyncratic way (and, yeah, not necessarily by conscious choice) can only reasonably be expected do what seems necessary to them, based on the data they’re receiving from their brain.,
    Absolutely. It’s just sad when their idiosyncracity is such, that it takes someone like me with a baseball bat to stop them from hurting people. Kind of like the movie 28 days later. No mercy on the zombies.
    I’m not saying that initiating violence and/or unsolicitedly scaring the fuck out of people is cool. It certainly ain’t. But that’s why we have social mechanisms (both intitutional and instinctive) which will do their very best to shut a person down in response to such behaviour.
    Yeah, well my friend is kind of relying on the system to do the right thing. However, if it fails, blunt object etc…
    And if that person’s actions are judged ‘crazy’, the PTB will also slap a leperously stigmatising label on them, take away all their adult rights, and generally completely ruin their life until they’re willing and able to demonstrate that their perceptions are Reformed.
    I don’t think it’s necesarily the label that ruins poeople’s life, but the sickness itself. Even if, by some chance, that sickness is the ability to see the truth that none of us see. Like I said, i have all the sympathy in the world for these people, until they become violent. Like 28 days later, I feel bad for the victums, but when they come after me, blunt object etc…

  10. teigan

    Fair enough; everyone has to protect themselves and theirs.
    >maybe George Bush is a genius etc…
    Maybe he is. Although I tend to think he’s a shaved monkey managed by geniuses. Very, very evil geniuses. Neither of us can possibly say.
    > 99 people describe the object as a tree
    Language itself is a power structure.
    There is no Absolute Objective Reality (or at least, none that *I* can perceive – how about you?). There’s only beliefs and systems of perception – whether individual, or collective & consensual.
    Power = the ability to dictate or influence beliefs & perceptions. A power structure = a structure of collective beliefs & systems of perception.
    It’s a tree because society collectively says it’s a tree. An alien who had no concept of trees wouldn’t perceive it as a tree. On a more down-to-earth level: a dog presumably perceives *something* when they see (actually smell, which is their primary sense) a tree. But they certainly don’t call it a tree, and it seems safe to assume they perceive something very different to us.
    Point is: everything‘s relative. I believe. Heh.
    >I don’t think it’s necesarily the label that ruins poeople’s life,
    >but the sickness itself. Even if, by some chance, that sickness
    >is the ability to see the truth that none of us see
    A case can certainly be made along these lines. A case can also be made that psychiatry – and hence conventionally accepted concepts of ‘mental health’ and ‘mental illness’ – is a complete crock.
    But not here.

  11. Li

    Language itself is a power structure.
    There is no Absolute Objective Reality (or at least, none that *I* can perceive – how about you?). There’s only beliefs and systems of perception – whether individual, or collective & consensual.

    Ahh, this is the kind of philosophy I love getting my mind stuck into because it’s all so unproveable, therefor, insufferable in a – hands on hips with cheeky smile – kinda way.
    Did that just make sense? *note to self: keep language sane, the power structure is watching*
    Objective reality. The closest i’ve come to perceiving what I think I could say that i think objective reality could be…that i think anyway…is that we’re all one. or, it’s all one, or tao. unsaid of course. So, outside of that, then no, we don’t as individual humans, have access to objective reality, which, in essence, is what makes the life of the human being such an insufferable -hands on hips cheeky…ahh nevermind- kind of experience.
    It’s a tree because society collectively says it’s a tree. An alien who had no concept of trees wouldn’t perceive it as a tree. On a more down-to-earth level: a dog presumably perceives *something* when they see (actually smell, which is their primary sense) a tree. But they certainly don’t call it a tree, and it seems safe to assume they perceive something very different to us.
    Sure, sure. BUT, the dog will still interact with the tree in the same basic way we do; by cocking its leg and pissing on it. The 1% person, described earlier, will be an anomoly in that he will try to talk to the tree and try to make friends with it. That’s cute and all, if not disturbing, for a while, but when you change the tree to all the other posible things that can be interacted with in this world, including other people, it can become threatening very quickly.
    So my point being, that language, as a power structure, is a bottom up structure, created by the consensus of the many. I think it’s the power of this consensus that gives it the right to judge the anomoly as being just that. In other words, this power structure isn’t imposed from above, but emerges from within organically, from the ground up. Its right to judge is as solid as any right that anyone has anywhere.
    And yeah, after falling from the unity of the tao, into the duality of our existence, everyhing becomes relative.

  12. wortwut

    welcome back to this way of being you, Teigs. The more [yous] the merrier

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