Trysting Fields

HNY, MOTHERFUCKERS

It's on.

!!! \O/ !!!

Stuff I Did This Year

In a nutshell: systematically climbed the fuck out of hell. Again. (See previously: 2005; 2007; 2009.)

And it's good! Can't complain.

:)

"Friends - you know who you are; you know we're grateful." - Blur, 1993. (Seriously. If ever a year was about Who Your Real Friends Are, it was 2011.)

Similarly, those who have fucked me up and fucked me over this year most likely know who they are also, and possibly how I feel about this (hint: angry, bewildered and sad) - with the possible exception of the Rt Hon Lord Mayor of Melbourne Robert Doyle (note contact details), who I strongly suspect does not have any idea who I am.

(I also doubt he reads this blog. But since it just can't be said often enough I might as well take this opportunity to (re)state, for the record: Robert Doyle, you're a fucking cunt. You really are.)

The bulk of this year's SIDTY post I rendered in audio format at the coast a few nights ago. It goes into a bit more detail (although, to be honest, not all that much). Enjoy:

Vale 2011. Viva 2012.

Happy new year!

~ Occuparty ~

Saturday, 17th December.

Occupy McFarland St Treehouse aka Sarah's Housewarming

Friday, 2nd December.

"WTF Is Neurocam?" Cast & Crew Screening

Sunday, 13th November.

(Previously.)

Fifth Of November

Obligatory Birthday Party Post

Saturday, 24th September.

An epic time was, needless to say, had.

The Patrick Porter award for the best present and best guest overall goes to Kirrily. The prize for the most perverse guests goes to the Keith! Party crew - comprising on this occasion Talkshow Boy, 2-SHEE, Hot God, Gezus and entourage including Ms C. C*ulter (alias unknown) - who turned up unfashionably early, immediately occupied what would normally be the dancing room and systematically set about turning it into a chillout room. WTF. (NB: And it was *great*.)

Prize for the most long-lost-but-pleasingly-now-seemingly-regained former CH party regular goes to Vicwie. Prize for the best guest who wasn't able to attend physically but who came in essence goes, as always, to Wads. Prize for the best autographed copy of Kafka's "Metamorphosis" and best Tasweigan mafia attaché goes to Doktor Midnight aka The Dan Cross Revolution. Prize for the best drug by almost universal consensus goes to nitrous oxide.

Prize for the most gobsmacking act of delusionality - not to mention the most concerted but nevertheless pathetically unsuccessful attempt to ruin a birthday party of mine in the history of the world - goes to the profoundly fucked in the head disappointing Ms G. Rouse. Prize for the most departing housemate of three years goes to Grim$ha.

Prize for the most heroically tenacious still-recovering-from-her-own-birthday-shenanigan-the-previous-night attendee and all-round best MC-Ren-would-you-please-give-your-testimony-to-the-jury-about-this-fucked-up-incident regaliousness goes to Toots.

Special award for the mouthiest ho goes, as it generally does, to Kat (see audio, below).

Extra special thanks to, y'know, everyone else. Seriously.

(Previously; previously; previously.)

35

:)

Second Day Of Spring

Relax, Everything's Going To Be Fine

Li has started blogging again.

Stuff I Did This Year

My 2010 started on a high. Life was good and all the stars were aligned, etc. Unfortunately the wheels started to come off in the second quarter and the second half was an increasingly shitful and regressive abortion.

So it goes. We'll do this as many times as we have to.

Amongst other things (hosting some fairly awesome dinner parties, etc) I:

• Went to Thailand;
• Started studying art in fulfilment of longterm ambitions (alongside baby sis);
• Went part time halfway through first semester (see also baby sis);
• Reconciled with a former close associate after a long estrangement, which made me very happy;
• Got very suddenly & unexpectedly shitcanned by a then-close associate three weeks later, with the inverse effect;
• Deferred school and everything else and moped around reclusively for months doing increasingly little except thinking about everything, with increasingly hilarious consequences;
• Turned 34 24 2.0;
• Slapped myself around some for having fucked up so badly, thereby fucking things up more;
• Got a job and started to apply the breaks.

I'm not going to thank specific people Oscar-stylez like I have the last two years.

People who've been awesome: thanks. People in general: also that other thing. Seriously.

Life is improving. I think we'll be doing just fine if we relax a little.

Happy new year.

Proper CH Party

Friday 11th June.

The first oldschool stylez party we've had here since my birthday in September. Blame The DPP.

Went off.

Footage of my broken VCR/DVD player being ritually destroyed on the stroke of midnight: part 1 (42 meg); part 2, starring MYF (671 kb); part 3 (36 meg).

(My original plan was to throw it off the roof before destroying it. But unfortunately the ladder which would have facilitated this turned out to be at Toots's house. So it goes; that piece of shit still got completely annihilated. Result! etc)

Polyphonic Spree @ The Forum

Saturday 27th February.

With G and these people.

Thailand (One)

Chiang Mai, 26th January.

The DP I Audio Is Finally Up

Here.

All of V*cw*e's parts have been edited out - which is a shame IMHO, coz they're golden. But so it goes.

(She got kind of shitty at me about the whole thing, which was a bit upsetting. This is the first time anyone's ever gotten pissy at me over blog audio. There's an interesting post in all of this. But methinks it's a story for another time.)

In happier news: I found out on Tuesday that, against all expectations, I got into art school.

Wo0t!1! etc

Stuff I Did This Year

This year was all about recovery. It started out in the absolute pits of hell, slowly got better, and - a few ickle problems here and there aside, but whatcha gonna do - ended all up in unmitigated gnarley.

Result.

As per last year I feel more like talking about people than doings or accomplishments. Specifically, and without wanting to get too gushy, all the people who've helped me in all their various ways to remember what the whole circus is about. Really forgot for a while there. Fucken' sucked.

So couldn't have done it without yiz.

Thanks. Seriously.

• Mum, Dad & Jess.
• Ben.
• Despite - and partly because of - some serious difficulties, Liv (and co).
• Henley.
• On an obscure tip: Martha, Dolly, Magnus, Tim, my secret admirer, and the other Barn*by Ev*ns on Facebook.
• Li.
• Nada A.
• Nada Z (nb not technically a person, but we'll let it slide).
• Em & co.
• Kav. Georgie. Twyllan. Kinkel. Vicwie. Sims. Brendan. Zanella. The Major. Freedman. 2003 & co. And all the countless other people at/from my thankfully now-former work who are fucking awesome. But most especially them.
• Relatedly: motorscooting Keith! Party and associates - most especially Bourkie, and Carol. We don't really know Trajstman yet - but you may rest assured we intend to.
• Cel.
• Freakley.
• Mr Ad*m F*rd (not the poet), and Mr D. Allan.
• Grimsey.
• Gab, obvs, and associates not previously mentioned, especially Pets & Dech (+ Scott, Ewan, Chirsp etc etc etc).
• And last, but the exact opposite of least: Ms M. F. "prog081" Evans and associates, esp. Kat, Hayley, Fran & co, Ange & Chloe.

The admittedly sometimes finite limitations of my resources notwithstanding, these people can - at any time, and to whatever extent they may deem necessary and/or desirable - stand the fuck under my umbrella.

I'd also like to extend a really colossal, biblical-epic-stylez "fuck you" to one or two other individuals whose selfish, infantile cuntishness and astonishing lack of Vision (tm), conversely, reeeallly hasn't helped. Anyone. But I won't. It won't help. We can only have faith that in time they will grow the hearts, brains, spines and souls they surprisingly appear to lack.

Having A Soul: It's Good.

:)

Happy new year.

Bar Open With Toots

20th December.

She initiated this audio. That never happens. Crazy festive timez FTW!

SRC Xmas Party

17th December.

Vale SRC. I'm gonna miss you hugely in some ways; in other ways not so much. I'll certainly miss your Xmas parties. Or maybe I'll just crash them.

The following was captured at Harrie & Atkins' house, at some point quite far into the 17-odd hours' worth of extended shenanigans.

Messy night; messy audio. But I like it.

(Previously.)

Dinner Party II

4th December.

Needless to say, went OFF.

Some awesome audio was captured. Unfortunately I forgot to save it, because I'm an idiot. But here is the obligatory formula picture of everyone in the back garden:

Things To Be Thankful For (Five)

Bitches who know how to treat their slaves right.

One such ultrastar of an individual graced Chez Hagakure's now-vacant second bedroom last weekend whilst on an all-too-brief-and-rare visit to Teh Melbourne.

It was, as always, a total & unmitigated pleasure to accommodate her.

(Previously.)

Things To Be Thankful For (Four)

Both of these things have been mentioned before. But I'm going to mention them again. Why the hell not.

iPhones.

OMFG etc.

I have been waiting for this device since my teens. And now I have it. I'm posting from it now, natch.

It's not without its imperfections (shit camera; no Bluetooth; and, most heinously, the basic text editing function has no cut and paste, WTF; etc) but it seems churlish to complain about them.

I'm still adapting to it, but it's already changing my life significantly for the more flexible and generally better.

(Going to Canberra next weekend & really, seriously need to be emailable at any time - with full access to your archives, FTP and the web - throughout the entire period? Hey, leave your cumbersome, valuable computer at home! Wander wither you will! Life is good.)

It's almost everything it should be, and it makes me incredibly happy.

The arrival of Spring.

Feckin' YAY!!

*nods*

Presents I Got Given

As requested. (Previously.)

• A tin of bacon & egg-themed bandaids in assorted shapes & sizes
• Some plastic flies
• A copy of Mr Nonsense
• A spliff
• A packet of Starburst Babies
• A box of hot cinnamon gum bearing the legend "OH GOD I AM SO TOTALLY WASTED" (the preceding six items all from Patrick. Frikken legend; I only gave him a - y'know, nicely wrapped - lemon from my lemon tree and made him a card for his birthday.)
• A packet of Marlboro Menthols
• A bottle of cabernet merlot
• Two sticks of Kinder chocolate
• A tin of wasabi peas (mmm, wasabi peas)
• A glass bubble with bubbles in it costing $8.75 (heh, bubbles)
• A pair of new shoes (which I desperately needed)
• The perfect bedside lamp (beautifully inscribed)
• A blindfolded trip to the Werribee Open Range Zoo - and a lovely picnic and a lovely dinner gathering - with assorted awesome peeps, from a chick who likes animals
• An M2M CD of mysterious provenance
• A photo of a train passing through rural surrounds at night that only one other person apart from the person who sent it to me has seen
• A four-and-a-half minute voicemail that I will keep for ever and ever
• 60% of an iPhone paid off over two years (which I haven't actually picked up yet, because I don't want it to be cursed by association with the world of shit that was the apocalyptic writeoff week I've just had)
• Several very nice cards
• A bottle of black nailpolish
• Another bottle of black nailpolish

These last two items are particularly timely & appreciated.

Birthday

It's certainly been a memorable one. I liked it much better than last year's.

Prize for the best party guest overall goes to Patrick. Prize for the most liable for nothing party guest is a three-way tie between Shane, The Sorcha, and, of course, Coburg.

Prize for the best party guest who wasn't there physically but came in essence goes to Wads. Prize for the most missed party absentee is a tie between Em and this chick. Prize for the best party guest who did attend physically, but who I unfortunately never actually got around to talking to is a three-way tie between Li, Kav, and The Major. Prize for the best (if maybe in hindsight somewhat regrettable) picture of a My Little Cthulhu Bunny goes to Magnus.

Prize for the most devastating headfuckery goes to my housemate & ex-fiancee. Prize for the most comically hypocritical abusive emails goes to Henley. Prize for the most awesome drunken deep & meaningful alleyway convo goes to Liv. I'm not sure what exactly to award the artist formerly known as Semi, but I suspect he deserves a prize of some kind - or that if he doesn't now, he may well before too long.

Prize for the most broken nose goes to Luke. Prize for the most blood cheerfully & unsolicitedly cleaned up as a result of a broken nose goes to Harrie. Prize for the driest one-liners (always) and best wildlife photography goes to Ramm. Prize for the best shisha lesson goes to Nichk. Prize for the heterosexual male with the most sophisticated understanding of little girls' pop music (and also the special award for getting locked in the enclosed garden off my bedroom by a psycho chick person I'm sure is lovely once you get to know her, and then being too wasted to think of calling someone to let him out) goes to Grimsey.

Prize for the best nail-painting (and best former housemate ever) goes to Cel. Prize for the best hungover breakfast-making and tidying up goes to Kat. Prize for the oldest and most enduring friend goes to Bentendo. Prize for the best anonymous benefactor goes to whoever sent me the copy of M2M's second album I found in my mailbox yesterday.

Prize for the best present (y'know, apart from causing me to be born in the first place and shit) goes to my parents.

Prize for the best sister in the entire fucking world goes to this bitch.

Prize for the best mistress (and inexpressible amounts of gratitude & love) goes to Schnozzie.

Thanks, everyone.

B. C. E.

:)

Can't complain.

Although, y'know, in some ways it was almost too easy.

Hmm.

Sitting Amongst The Wreckage

Watching Press Gang with Toots.

Teh life, it is good.

The housewarming afterparty was, as intended, a quiet affair. But it still went OFF. I blame this guy.

I have nothing else to declare except my ongoing, undying love for M2M. And that I have a new favourite word.

This is the first M2M video I ever saw, in 2002:

The final minute emerged randomly from under the end of something else I'd taped on purpose. I taped Video Hits all the way through for a month of Saturday mornings afterwards to catch it again. We had to do things like that in the dark days before YouTube and BitTorrent were invented.

Update - This footage is not particularly interesting content-wise, but I find Marit weirdly mesmerising in it:

I also like the bit where Marion asks Andrew G if he ate the worm.

I Want To Marry M2M

Yes, both of them.

Housewarming went OFF, btw. But that's hardly news.

UPDATE: What is news is that it went OFF so much it's been determined we need another, smaller one this Saturday to contain the fallout. There will be cigars, apparently. (And a Shisha! N - of K & N fame - totally gave me a Shisha for no particular reason. LFN!)

Liv & Gab Done Got Blogs

Go read them. I got nothin'. Except an interminably unclearable email backlog. (Plus ca change etc.)

And, I guess, the news that after two years of global trekkage, an older, worldly-wiser Toots aka babysis is coming home today! To my home (ie Melbourne)!

Can you say "I'm fucking excited"? Coz I surely can.

Rainbow Serpent (Part 2)

Rainbow Serpent (Part 1)

So yes: about a month ago I accompanied my colleague and fellow Merrie Scrambler Major G to Rainbow Serpent. She'd scored a free ticket and needed a handbag company; we went halves.

It was incredibly excellent.

I captured a lot of media, and thankfully had the foresight to copy it off my phone before it died. Then my computer died. Etc blah blah.

Here at long last, etc.

To be continued.

Party IV

Went off.

Oh, what a mess! Though. Liable for mess.

Also, someone stole my weed. I'm a bit unhappy about that. But that's what I get for leaving it unattended in the garden.

So it goes. It was all worth it. Hooray for parties.

I'm Back

It was pretty fucking good. (As in "That's a pretty fucking good milkshake.")

Thanks to Major G, the Rainbow Serpent undercover vibe police, and most especially a man named Thad.

More will be said once I have fully regained the power of speech, and also my computer. Which I still don't have. Still.

So don't even care right now!

Still Puterless!!!

Still.

Avoid these people. They will quote you four days on the repair of your eMac, then keep it for ten with no end in sight. They can't even tell me how much it's going to cost. At this rate I won't be paying them anyway.

Fuck this shit. I'm going to Rainbow Serpent.

Hooray for everything (except puterlessness)!

It's Easy To Lose Perspective Sometimes And To Imagine That One Is A Worthless Pile Of Shit

One shouldn't, though.

Coz one Is Really Good at What One Does.

And What One Does is totally Worth Doing.

Really is.

[long pause]

I like these moments.

Meredith (Part Two)

(Interlude: Fitsy.)

Meredith (Part One)

I went to the Meredith Festival on the weekend.

It was awse, and then some.

(From their Frequently Given Answers:

No, it is not possible to sneak in. Vicious dogs and armed mercenaries patrol the fences.

NB This is a total lie.)

(To be continued.)

Well Pleased

I think so.

Update (Monday): You go, girl.

It almost makes me feel dirty to be enjoying this so much. It's not as if I have any belief in Krudd & Co, or parliamentary democracy generally. I just really, really fucking hated this government. So it's very satisfying to see them finally eating shit and dying.

I've been wishing for this day since long before I lost all faith in conventional politics.

I'd Like To Thank The Academy

And also:

• Ms Emma S. White (so much)
• Ms Danielle "Macenaeas" Freakley (as well, but in a different way)
• Ms Jessica H. etc Kilby (as in "Jessica H. Kilby, what are you doing to me woman" etc)
• Mr Jaye de Koan nee ~ nee Eric Wouters (I don't know what it is that you do exactly - but you're really good at it, and you should definitely keep doing it. IMHO. PS Do not join the army.)
• The Artist Formerly Known As Robert Henley
• Nads
• Ms Megan Faith Motorscooting Evans

Honourable mentions:

• Semi / Robin
• Ads (see Jaye de Koan)
• Li (ditto)
• Ben (as well)
• Dozza
• Rick / American Guy
• Ev
• Jessica K. Reftel Evans
• Martha, somehow
• Dave, also
• Avery Cardoza (in some obscure way; we have at least three quite significant things in common, anyways)
• The Veronicas
• Els
• and, why not, Anna Pearson (we got messy together when she was just a little kiddy, apparently)

And last but not least, my mum. Thanks for having me, etc. I appreciate it.

And various other people.

You are all - in your assorted different ways - special to me, and I love yiz. For whatever it's worth.

That is all.

PS Interview went well.

Hooray For Renovated Bathrooms

(Previously and previouslyer.)

This Month Has Been Totally Surreal

It's certainly been interesting.

Clean

Yes, we are.

The Coffee & Cigarette I Had At Atomica Yesterday Morning

My Audacity Has Paid Off

I am delighted to announce that on the strength of my genius, I have been invited by the legendary Nada Awad to displace her sister as the second full-time member of Are You Hungry.

I would also like to announce that we will be embarking on a major European tour next month on the back of our award-winning and critically acclaimed quintuple platinum forthcoming album "Chicken Has Gonorrhea".

It's true! I really would like to announce that.

Howard Belatedly Complies With Pulat Vanstone Directive

Semi was right. Victory for the Trysting Fields campaign.

Senator Amanda Vanstone says she will take some time to consider her future, after being dropped from the federal frontbench.

Senator Vanstone, who leaves the Immigration portfolio, says she is not sure if she will see out the five remaining years of her parliamentary term.

It's unclear whether the subtext here is that she's contemplating suicide. But if so, Mandy, know that you have my full support. You fat nasty bitch from hell.

(In other news: Is it just me or is Stan Grant looking, weirdly, much much blacker than he used to?)

What I Got For Christmas

Yemeni coffee, British cigarettes and Cuban white rum

Jellybeans & chocolate

Facial care products

Art

A scarf

A yoyo

A flipbook

Amongst other things.

Party II

It was a much quieter affair than the last one. But it was still good!

~ made sushi

Russian cocaine was served in abundance

First Hamish of the night

The drink's creator attended in A4 poster form

Nada came all the way from New Jersey - what's your excuse? - only to be strangled by ~ in a fit of paranoia. These things happen at Hagakure parties

Former Operative Johana (Hamish)

Former Operatives Reanimator (Scotch & Cola) and Li (rightly hiding in shame behind bottle of Cascade Light)

Semi (herbal tea and sympathy)

T. (fat rocks of crack, not shown)

Some woman dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz (not sure what she was on)

This crazy Japanese girl gave ~ a terrible time a while back, but he invited her anyway.

Reanimator, Li, ~, a russian mathematician and i ended up watching Fight Club by candlelight at about 3am. I did loads of bulbs.

It was good.

Some Days It's Great To Be Alive

Have a nice funeral, fuckhead.

Sure hope no one accidentally drops a cluster bomb on it, killing your entire extended family and anybody who ever gave two shits about you.

Just kidding! Actually, I hope someone does. That would be funny as hell.

(To give him his due, it's true he certainly had quite the way with words...)

Now please excuse me, dear readers; serious drinking etc

Splendiferous weekend wishes to you all!

Life Is Good

nb clever peripheral utilization may or may not reveal secret hidden messages

Life is good.

What I Got For My Birthday

A can of whoop-ass Hagakure style yo Easy Surface Prep

A Discombobulator of my very own

Two bottles of apparently non-lethal Red Bull concentrate

Two bottles of Arrogant Frog sauvignon blanc

Two delicious, beautifully wrapped and generally special cupcakes (not shown)

Colourful and appealing multimedia art products

A hefty biography of John Fowles, bafflingly enough

A black 30 gigabyte iPod, which was nice

A Brave New World mug

Cards & chocolate

Amongst other things.

Thanks everyone. It was great!