Trysting Fields

Happy New Tenth!!! [*]

([*] Trope courtesy of D. Soybean.)

So, my 2010 has pretty much rocked so far. How's 'bout yours!!!?

I think my epic backlog-killing spree (mostly effected down the NSW coast, where I spent an actually not at all unpleasant festive perenium with Toots and the parentals) exhausted me a bit, blogwise. Maybe that will change; maybe not. We'll find out!!!

Yeah, my parents have been in the country, which doesn't happen very often. They went home yesterday, after five days here in teh Melbourne. Ergo, amongst other things, I've lately been eating out a lot and experiencing a generally higher material standard of living than that to which I'm accustomed. It's all been very nice!!!

I set a prospective date today for DP III, which is Friday, February 12th - although I haven't told the prospective victims beneficiaries directly yet, coz I'm still figuring out exactly who they are!!!

The audio from both DP I and the SRC Xmas Post-Party is being held back pending the resolution of some content (in the former case) and clearance (in the latter) issues, but I'll post an update when it's finally up!!!

What else? Oh, yeah - I'm going to Thailand for ten days in two weeks!!!

To this end, I was vaccinated against Swine Flu (amongst other things) the other day and consequently, I think, came down with a very minor case of Swine Flu. But I recovered!!!

And I think that's pretty much all for now!!!

Here, randomly, is a picture of A, DA, G and myself at Prudence last night, playing the Trivial Pursuit Toots gave me for Christmas:

Stuff I Did This Year

This year was all about recovery. It started out in the absolute pits of hell, slowly got better, and - a few ickle problems here and there aside, but whatcha gonna do - ended all up in unmitigated gnarley.

Result.

As per last year I feel more like talking about people than doings or accomplishments. Specifically, and without wanting to get too gushy, all the people who've helped me in all their various ways to remember what love, awesomeness and the whole circus generally is about. Really forgot for a while there. Fucken' sucked.

So couldn't have done it without yiz.

Thanks. Seriously.

• Mum, Dad & Jess.
• Ben.
• Despite - and partly because of - some serious difficulties, Liv (and co).
• Henley.
• On an obscure tip: Martha, Dolly, Magnus, Tim, my secret admirer, and the other Barn*by Ev*ns on Facebook.
• Li.
• Nada A.
• Nada Z (nb not technically a person, but we'll let it slide).
• Em & co.
• Kav. Georgie. Twyllan. Kinkel. Vicwie. Sims. Brendan. Zanella. The Major. Freedman. 2003 & co. And all the countless other people at/from my thankfully now-former work who are fucking awesome. But most especially them.
• Relatedly: motorscooting Keith! Party and associates - most especially Bourkie, and Carol. We don't really know Trajstman yet - but you may rest assured we intend to.
• Cel.
• Freakley.
• Mr Ad*m F*rd (not the poet), and Mr D. Allan.
• Grimsey.
• Gab, obvs, and associates not previously mentioned, especially Pets & Dech (+ Scott, Ewan, Chirsp etc etc etc).
• And last, but the exact opposite of least: Ms M. F. "prog081" Evans and associates, esp. Kat, Hayley, Fran & co, Ange & Chloe.

The admittedly sometimes finite limitations of my resources notwithstanding, these people can - at any time, and to whatever extent they may deem necessary and/or desirable - stand the fuck under my umbrella.

I'd also like to extend a really colossal, biblical-epic-stylez "fuck you" to one or two other individuals whose selfish, infantile cuntishness and astonishing lack of Vision (tm), conversely, reeeallly hasn't helped. Anyone. But I won't. It won't help. We can only have faith that in time they will grow the hearts, brains, spines and souls they surprisingly appear to lack.

Having A Soul: It's Good.

:)

Happy new year.

Random Pictures Of The Week Since I Got Back

I think it's safe to say we have now officially passed through the gaping abyss of infinite horror.

We left the territory it represented without regret; it smelt of guano.

Life is.

ION: Chez Hagakure housewarming this Saturday, finally.

It will be good; you should come.

:/

There's nothing like hearing that a long-lost but much loved friend has died to put things in perspective.

At times like this I always fantasize about an impossible party; absolutely everyone who's ever been special or important to me throughout my life hanging out and being awesome together, with no consequences or liability.

I have much more out-there - and much less self-centred - visions of heaven, but I'd settle for that.

Stuff I Did This Year

On previous December 31sts, I've posted a bullet-pointed list of things I did the preceding year.

In keeping with the strategy I adopted at the start of 2008 - which consisted of being lost but unconcerned (and liable for nothing), and then just, y'know, seeing what happened - I'm not going to do that this year. The resultant twelve months have been much too complex and chaotic for that.

Stuff certainly happened. That it all went spectacularly wrong in the final quarter makes it easy to forget what an eventful and, for the most part, legendary year it's been. I made some awesome friends, brutally lost a couple of others (in one significant case, re-made and then re-lost, which was.. a bit upsetting), and had all kinds of adventures along the way.

Being lost but unconcerned, I started out with only one very minor concrete Goal: to make a second Mishukis album. In a single day. Then my computer died and all my internet accounts got hacked, and I went to Rainbow Serpent and witnessed the apocalypse. The liberator who destroyed my property realigned my perceptions, and even that humble project was forgotten; life took over.

In awesomeness terms, the whole thing peaked at Easter. It was all about the Smart Party (RIP, sigh), the return of baby sis, and reconciling with J & Henley (sigh, redux).

That awesomeness carried me all the way through winter, which - although not without its trials and dramas - pretty much went off.

Then, on my birthday, as triggered by the mother of all braincaving interpersonal trainwrecks, I dropped my LBU-LFN ball and the world turned. The following three months were discombobulated, angstridden, choronzonic, and Generally Completely Sucked.

There always has to be a meltdown at some point, apparently. Oh well.

I'm feeling a bit better now.

2008 was, see above, very significantly about people. Most notably my three successive housemates Cel, this woman, and Gr*ms*y; the SP, being Sims, Liv, Ramm, Allan (nominally), Porter (all too briefly), and this chick; my colleagues Henry & Wielgosz, Kinkel, Harrie, The Major, fucking Wouters, Kav, Cross, Interviewer 2003 and Coburg; also: the two Robins (just because neither are talking to me anymore doesn't mean they don't both rate a mention), Thad, Fr**kl*y, Em and Toots. Finally (again, and especially): G.

People are good. We're problematic sometimes, but I like us.

Happy new year.

I Am Still Alive

(Previously.)

Canberra Redux (One)

So yeah - Toots & I went to Canberra the weekend before last.

We grew up there. I left in 2004, and haven't been back since 2005 (previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously).

I Facebooked the whole trip from beginning to end in status updates and pictures from my phone. Which gave me a thrill. Fuck you if you can't understand.

(No seriously - fuck you, dear reader. Fuck you to hell. I hope your face is revoltingly disfigured by a horrible flesh eating virus. I really mean that.)

The 'Tendo suggested I post the whole mini-feed saga in all its glory here. But even I have my limits.

Here's some pictures and audio, though. Hover for captions etc.

Saturday

(To be continued.)

Wither Reality Blogging

Feed my narcissism, you cunts.

Walking Home From Carling's House With Celestine

Stuff I Did This Year

(Previously & previouslier.)

I missed most of 2007.

It started excellently, and ended okay. Adventures were had, things were discovered; it was not a total dead loss. But overall it will not be remembered as a banner year on Planet Teigan.

This year, amongst assorted other things (see archives), I:

• Misguidedly started a BA at Melbourne Uni for the second time, and then dropped out after a month for the second time.
• Got kinda down.
• Just about survived winter without going totally insane or throwing myself under a train.
• Gradually got better.
• Got totally ditched, in my absence, by the artist formerly known as Lady J after an extremely Significant & Intense 18-month relationship.
• Spent approximately 680 hours conducting telephone-based social research for money. (The weirdness, the horror, the tedium etc). (Also: The doodling.)
• Somewhat overambitiously applied & was interviewed for a BFA at one of the premier art schools in the country, despite having basically no traditional visual art-type skills or talent at all. Was not accepted.
• Spent what probably cumulatively amounts to several months on Facebook.
• Drank quite a lot.
• Various other things which are none of your damn business. Who the hell are you, anyway? Who are you really? etc

This Month Has Been Totally Surreal

It's certainly been interesting.

Sat Waiting For The Tram On Brunny Street This Afternoon

A man in a panda suit and sunglasses came up to me. He asked if I minded sitting next to a panda. I said "no, not at all". He sat down.

I asked him if he'd always been a panda. "Yeah, pretty much." He seemed kind of irritated by the question, and uninterested in further exchange. So I didn't ask if I could take his picture, although I wanted to.

He probably gets sick of being treated like a freakshow.

It was good. Sitting next to him made me feel less self-conscious about wearing a shirt that's technically a blouse, which I was (and still am).

Kitsune

This pizza is Super Special. The people who sold it to us told us this. It must be true.

We are going to watch Withnail & I now. Yiz can all get comprehensively fucked.

That is all.

Coming soon: Death In The Afternoon.

It's My Blog And I'll Break My Own Self-Imposed Vow Of Silence Occasionally If I Want To

I blame you, Carfax. Just let it lie, whycantcha?

Anyway.

I recently had cause to send someone a link to my Neurocam Perception Assessment. It is two years old this month.

Rereading it was quite the life-is-strange moment. Many syncronicities and other peculiarities emerged. I even bag out Vanstone in it at one point. Actually, that's not particularly strange. But the whole thing was funny.

Life is funny. Time flies. Other cliches.

That's all, I guess.

But on a related note: since, surprisingly, no one else has picked this one up (as far as I'm aware) I suppose it falls to me to ask - does this dastardly unidentified voyeuristic spycam shoe bandit sound suspiciously like anyone we know?

And with that I must away, dear readers, for now I have an important date with the Green Faerie Jellybean.

Good evening.

Stuff I Did This Year

• Broke up an eight-year marriage, arguably
• Destroyed Neurocam, according to some (Neurocam continues to function in a lame, shadow-of-its-former-self kind of way)
• Bought my first DVD player
• Visited Sydney
• Took LSD for the first time
• Moved from a cupboard in St Kilda to a house in Fitzroy (the first house I have lived in for five years, fact fans)
• Had a bit of a fucking breakdown
• Collaborated in the creation of a singularly unsuccessful gated community for Neurocam graduates
• Took mescaline for the first time, in the form of San Pedro cactus (and on two subsequent occasions)
• Turned 30, legally speaking
• Took ecstacy for the first time
• Threw my first proper party (and my second)
• Took magic mushrooms (and went to a soccer match) for the first time
• Hosted my first Zenarchist Coffee Ceremony
• Finally gave up and got a MySpace page
• Spent Christmas in Geneva, Switzerland and new year in Manchester, England
• Made my first album
• Started my first business
• Attempted (ultimately unsuccessfully) to write a 50,000-word novel in a month
• Kept one ongoing blog, and co-created & contributed to another, for a combined output of 20,253 words, 344 photos, 10 videos & 31 audio recordings (comprising 16 songs, 12 audio messages, and 3 miscellaneous)
• Wrote approximately 458,000 words of email to 92 recipients (& received approximately 506,000 words of email from 128 correspondents, not including machines)
• Spent 164 hours at the gym
• Held five ongoing paid jobs, of which I lost two, quit one, and currently retain two
• Amongst other things

And We're Away

Being temperamentally unsuited to current climatic conditions in Melbourne, I depart tomorrow for colder climes. Switzerland, to be exact, where I shall remain until the 27th December, at which time I shall fly (unassisted*) to the UK.

Provided that I do not die, that all international flights are not cancelled due to the Terrorist Threat and that the oil supplies hold out, I will return home to Australia on the 13th of January.

Please note that throughout this period I will only be checking the addresses teigan@gmail.com and [mybirthname]@gmail.com.

There will probably be a post or two between now and when I get back (possibly more) - but in any case, l hereby take this opportunity to wish you all a banging festive season.

(* NOTE: this particular bit potentially untrue)

Party II

It was a much quieter affair than the last one. But it was still good!

~ made sushi

Russian cocaine was served in abundance

First Hamish of the night

The drink's creator attended in A4 poster form

Nada came all the way from New Jersey - what's your excuse? - only to be strangled by ~ in a fit of paranoia. These things happen at Hagakure parties

Former Operative Johana (Hamish)

Former Operatives Reanimator (Scotch & Cola) and Li (rightly hiding in shame behind bottle of Cascade Light)

Semi (herbal tea and sympathy)

T. (fat rocks of crack, not shown)

Some woman dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz (not sure what she was on)

This crazy Japanese girl gave ~ a terrible time a while back, but he invited her anyway.

Reanimator, Li, ~, a russian mathematician and i ended up watching Fight Club by candlelight at about 3am. I did loads of bulbs.

It was good.

Recent Correspondence

From: Trysting Fields Central Communications
To: JoBean
Date: 8 November 2006 10:45:32 PM

> :D  I have enough trouble coming up with my own posts, m'dear.
> And you want me think of topics for you as well?

You seem to be doing okay.. slow but not short of content

> How about the fact that I went into a pet shop the other day and saw
> me some kittens.

You want me to post on *my* blog about what *you've* been up to? Tript's right.

> Yay kitten season!  

Yay! I saw two cats fucking for the first time ever the other night; it was well surreal and shit

Everything is surreal at the moment; I blame the racing carnival

I was saying to LJ this morning: the streets are filled with outrageously drunk women in slutty dresses and ridiculous hats; singing, getting into fights, throwing up, falling over

At all hours of the day and night

No one bats an eye, that's standard in Melbourne at this time of year

Freewheeling, zany-ass city that we are

I was trying to sell Melbourne to her

Do you think that will work?

> You should call  those places again if you  want  one  :D

Thanks for the tip :P

heh

But too busy! Too busy!

I have to catch up on Adam's blog too, I haven't read it for ages and ages and ages; his posts are gold but they're too long

So much to do! So little weed. Indeed none at all; it's becoming unacceptable

Get it sorted, "Johana"

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why we are still friends

You never send me flowers, you never have any weed when *I* need it

We may have to see about your license to practice if this whack continues

Much love,

T

Life Is Good

nb clever peripheral utilization may or may not reveal secret hidden messages

Life is good.

Party

It went off.

~ tried to persuade me to wear this shirt of his, but it was the wrong shirt

He also prepared a special discombobulatory mobile for the back garden

The first of my guests to arrive was none other than former operative American Guy. Sadly he didn't stay very long, but it was nice to see him again

Semi's bitch good friend T (pictured, centre), a brilliant and profoundly disturbed young man, spent the first two hours or so of his tenure focussed with laser-like intensity on the task of building us a better stereo from found objects, including my dodgy $60 DVD player

He then proceeded to introduce the company to the seductive pleasures of Russian Cocaine (shot of vodka--> lemon wedge with white sugar on one side and ground - nb not instant - coffee on the other. Try it, you will like it)

Queen Jo was very proud of her skirt, and rightly so. Disappointed I didn't get any better pictures of it

One bottle of the red bull concentrate was consumed between several individuals, albiet not under experimentally pure conditions

In other news, Desci was good enough to bring her last packet of NO bulbs. To my astonishment, neither she nor Semi had ever even heard of doing them from balloons. And to my dismay, I didn't have any. They were still great though. Nitrous Oxide, children.

After cleaning up a bit on Sunday, we went out for breakfast. But completely outrageously, there apparently isn't anywhere on Brunswick Street that does breakfast after 6pm. Huge gap in the market. We had to settle for curry

Second Twenties

Got it? Second twenties.

I made a right mess of my first twenties.

They were a learning experience. *shrugs*

I learned a lot.

Having given the matter some considerable thought, I've decided to take them again.

(NB Do not argue.)

Stuff I Did This Week

               

- Exhaustively cleaned the kitchen, the dining room, the hallway, the laundry, and the bathroom.

- Made sixteen phonecalls, took seven phonecalls, attended interviews with three people, and lodged one detailed & tedious application form in pursuit of new revenue streams. Ate dodgy Japanese food on Chapel Street; gawped at people hanging on Chapel Street.

- Visited Bentendo at his new place.

He has a very nice view of the city, which I was unable to photograph for security reasons

- Reincarnated my old mobile - which I thought I'd lost, eventually replaced, and later found - as a second phone, via the purchase of a $25 prepaid SIM card.

- Updated my address book and phone contacts.

- Succesfully enticed a professional tiler into assessing dire bathroom tile issue situation, pictured. (They refused to replace the tiles, arguing that the only meaningful solution was to retile the whole bathroom.)

- Made an elaborate pictoral blog post about cooking harira.

- Inspired by trawling my own blog archives, figured out how to region-unlock my DVD player.

- Made a disastrous birthday card.

- Stupidly trammed it all the way out to the RSPCA in Burwood East to buy a kitten, only to discover that - it not quite being kitten season yet, see - they didn't have any. (Note to self: next time ring ahead.)

- Got shitfaced at The Mint and elsewhere again with Jo, Xade, Rorschach, Jaye deKoan and sundry others. An unshaven Tript was vaguely encountered somewhere in the vicinity of the Victoria Markets at around 1am. About two people at least one of whom I did not previously know ended up on my foldout couch watching Reservoir Dogs.

- Recorded a cover of Always On My Mind with my associate Mishuki One for H419.

- Made an elaborate pictoral blog post about things I did this week.

- Watched entire series of John Safran vs God (purchased secondhand last Sunday for $5).

- Went to the gym five times.

- Wrote 36 emails to 15 people.

- Et cetera.

My Housemate's Stuff Is All Packed In Boxes

He, and his little brother, are moving out next Saturday.

Soon all of this:

.. will be just a distant memory.

And they're leaving me the espresso machine! Score.

I think a party may finally be in order.

Ambitions, Revisited

Last July I posted a list of ambitions.

Time for a review.

1. To work in a streetcorner newsbooth.
Partly a joke - but I'd still quite like to do this. I suspect they're basically owner-operator kind of deals, though. Gonna look into it this week.
2. To become a cult leader by rising to the front ranks of Neurocam and then either taking it over, or creating a sizeable splinter group.
Done. I became the head of Neurocam last August (and was subsequently deposed in November). Being a cult leader was fucking cool, if extremely intense and an insane amount of work. I want to be one again some day, in some form. It suited me nicely.
3. To write a throwaway novel ("which I am doing in November").
As things turned out, I was too busy fulfilling ambition no 2 to do this last November. So I'll do it this November.
4. To make an album, provisionally entitled 'Everyone's Too Stupid' ("which I will do next year when I have more time").
A change in outlook has seen this one deprioritised - although I might still release a compilation of Mishuki One's recordings for Hagakure 419 under said title, if a sufficient number of them accumulate.
5. To study for and obtain a degree in Creative Arts from Melbourne's premier university ("guaranteeing me a colourful and lucrative subsequent career as a Creative Artist").
I intend to begin persuing this one next year. Unless my career takes off stratospherically between now and then, of course.
6. To finish reading "The Magus" by John Fowles, and then to ritually burn it.
Done.
7. To have fun and not care about people.
8. To be beautiful.
9. To be loved.
Realisation of these three remain works in progress, although great strides have been made (admittedly, in some cases, made then lost) on all fronts.

Material things I wanted:

• An umbrella.
Acquired.
• A preamping device for my microphone.
Latterly I've been using my soon-to-be ex-housemate's guitar pedals for this purpose. But they've stopped working - I think because the audio-in jack on my eMac is fucked. (Along with several of the USB ports.) But - see above - evolved approaches have rendered this less important than it used to be.
• A Bigpond Movies membership.
With a Blockbuster just down the road, this has become less desirable. Although I would like to join ACMI, whose lending collection goes places theirs, frankly, doesn't.
• A region-free DVD player.
Acquired. (It isn't really region free. But it's okay.)
• A better camera.
Acquired.
• Peter Greenaway DVDs.
Some still pending, some acquired. In one case acquired (see previous link), then rendered unplayable due to careless handling.
• See also: Amazon wishlist.
Note: the DVDs on this list are for reference only - although I know you'd love to buy them for me, I'm better off with locally-purchased Region 4s (see above).

Updated want list:

• More driving lessons.
I started learning to drive in March last year, but stopped in September, due to being too busy & stressed. I'm no longer too busy/stressed, but I am too poor. Shall recommence when it becomes viable.
• A cat.
Once my domestic arrangement stabilizes somewhat - and again, given sufficiently consistent income.
• New trainers.
Soles of my current trainers:

• iPod Mini repair.
I bought a little 512mb Shuffle after my 4GB Mini broke for the second time late last year. At around $150 this was a substantially cheaper option than getting the Mini fixed. At this rate I will be able to get a Nano for less than the cost of getting the Mini fixed. In any case, I miss my Mini.

We'll see what happens.

Cactus VII

A Solitary Cupboard Is All Very Well

But one tires of it.

Which is partly why I am moving next month, to the house in Fitzroy I was minding for a period last year.

I'm excited!

Sydney

My trip to Sydney the other weekend went well.

I like Sydney. (There, I said it.)

Saturday

I travelled by bus because it was $70 cheaper than flying. This was a mistake

Sunday

I arrived about 8am on Sunday morning, and wandered around looking dazedly at the pigeons in that park across from the bus depot whose name I can never remember. Someone somehow scabbed a lit cigarette out of my hand whilst I was talking on the phone

Then got a bus to Newtown, where I was staying with baby sis (the trains were broken)

She met me at this cafe across from the station. Several witnesses will confirm my version of events

She is living in a pretty yellow house

We hung out for a bit. I had a nap. Then we went down to her local, which is called 'Zanzibar'. She seems to like it there. She had a voucher for free tapas, pictured

Then I went out to to dinner at a Lebanese restaurant in Surrey Hills, because it was someone's birthday

After dinner we went back to my friend whose birthday it was's house and she showed us some of her birthday presents

Upon returning to the yellow house, sis's housemates informed me that she was still at Zanzibar so I went up & joined her there

We met an incredibly fucked up chick - we'll her 'Rhiannon' - who, in between frequent trips to what she referred to as the 'refreshment lounge', insisted in very forceful terms that I take a picture of her breasts and post it to my blog

After closing sis & I went back to the yellow house and watched Kill Bill vol. 2 on her baby iBook, sat out on her balcony. It was nice

Monday

A forecast trip to the beach in the morning was cancelled due to inclement weather so we just slept and hung around the house.

When it stopped raining in the afternoon we went out for coffee & food on King Street. Then I met my friend of the birthday at a Vietnamese restaurant down the road. She was a bit sad and I did not take a picture.

Once she'd finished her soup we caught a bus to the Hollywood Hotel where further gatherage had been arranged

Even the beautiful old-world porcelain fittings there could not stave off the dreaded urinal performance anxiety

Baby sis (left) eventually joined us, partly I think because I told her there would be karaoke. We didn't end up doing karaoke. I was kind of disappointed

The gathering dispersed and sis & I returned compasslike to Zanzibar, where I threw up. Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture until after flushing the lounge chair

Tuesday

Bus back to Melbourne. Slept, read, listened to music, and talked for way too long on the phone

That is all.

Happy

Yay!

I've finally compiled my "Stuff I Did Last Year" post, which had become the object of increasingly dire procrastinatory enmirement over these past two weeks. It involved conducting a larger review of the year which I'd been dreading.

That was stupid of me. (Hindsight's a wonderful thing.)

It may seem like I've been neglecting this blog - but the truth is I've been going half-demented thinking about what to do with it.

*sigh*

The only fly in my ointment today, however, is that I've accidentally deleted the audio file - which I really, really wanted to post - of a conversation conducted between myself and my neighbour on Thursday night.

We were discussing the most efficient way of killing everyone in our building. In the end we decided to get two pistols with a silencers and then just knock on each person's door one by one. I would do upstairs, he would do downstairs. Simple, effective, no muss, no fuss.

The talks broke down, however, when it became apparent that my neighbour thought we should give ourselves up once the job was complete.

That seemed ridiculous to me. What kind of milksop goes on a merciless killing spree and then surrenders? "Gee, sorry about that. Here, let me spend the rest of my life in jail"? Fuck that.

I'm going to Sydney tonight, for the birthday of an old friend and to hang with baby sis, who is going backpacking overseas next month for a long time. I shall return on Tuesday evening. There will be pictures.

But then, once I get home, I'll be working like a trojan through to Sunday. So don't be anticipating too much action round these parts over the next week or so.

There are going to be changes. Good changes. Still not sure exactly what form they'll take yet. But they'll be good.

Finally, word up as always to all the good people I've been woefully neglecting in various ways of late (specifically: Agent Blabber, Alexis, Clover, Desci, Hits, Li, Nada, Reanimator, Simon Blackmoore and the mysterious, oracular Mr Simon Moon.. although somehow I feel sure that he, at least, is not offended).

Please be assured of my regard and that communques are pending as applicable.

Stuff I Did This Year

- Lived a first full year in Melbourne, having migrated from my native Canberra in November 2004.

- Endured one month at Melbourne Uni before melting down and dropping out to become a fulltime disumbrationist, weblog administrator and Neurocam operative, amongst other things.

- Gave away approximately 1180 hours of my life to various people I don't know and couldn't give a shit about in exchange for money.

- Kept two blogs, totalling some 56,800 words:

• one exclusively about Neurocam, from January to May (21,000 words);
• this one, initiated in March (35,800 words).

Wrote 747,100 words of email to approximately 80 recipients.

Acquired my first domain name.

Started taking digital photos, saving 1178 (of which I uploaded 280 to Flickr. 80 of these, I discover to my disappointment, are no longer indexed - although they're still there).

Qualified for my Ls and spent about 40 hours learning to drive.

Spent approximately 150 hours at the gym.

Created six semiautonomous people, of whom one remains alive, and five of whom are dead - including Henry Gagblat and the deeply unfortunate Ms. Gethsemane Nash, both of whom committed suicide (losers).

Had considerable dealings with the organisation known to the public as Neurocam International.

Read an astonishingly pitiful four books from beginning to end, and watched 46 movies (18 at the cinema and 28 on video & DVD).

Amongst other things.

Wedding (finally)

Welcome back. Things have been crazy.

So, my sister's much-anticipated wedding finally happened on Saturday the 17th. The whole family came to town. It was pretty full on. The event was roundly deemed a success.

A substantial number of pictures were taken.

Friday

Hangin with the fam

Tooling the cake

Surveying the site

Emergency clothes shopping

Beers with the visiting Bentendo at Bar With No Name (favoured haunt of Neurocam renegades Iocus Severus and Nikolay Kamchatka)

Saturday

Everyone applauded after the ceremony, which I found slighly strange but maybe that's just me

Lunch was a picnicky affair

Although some people weren't down with that (which, y'know, is cool)

Sammy was quite intimidated by the whole thing initially

But he got over it

Despite persistent fears of rain, in the end it only spat slightly for a brief period during the speeches

Lawn games were played

It was all pretty good

Sunday

Post-nuptial brunchery at Retro on Brunswick Street

Beers with baby sis. We also went and saw Good Night, & Good Luck at the Kino Dendy, because I always do everything Lady J tells me to

Poverty Bites

(A Whinge)

My iPod is broken again. It won't play when I press play and it keeps hanging. Worse, this time it was definitely my fault. (I dropped it last week, and then it got a bit wet on Friday.) So I'll have to pay. Which means it probably won't be getting fixed for a wee while.

No iPod makes Homer something something.

Meanwhile, I still need a new keyboard. And I owe the #$@& tax office $60. And look, my chronic fare evasion finally caught up with me:

$154. Ouch. That's this wayward commuter told.

I will be too poor to acknowledge Christmas at this rate. No cards for anyone! I can't be having with such festive frivolities.

Prospective wealthy benefactors: we should talk.

Today Was A Strange Day

I did nothing at all today. Like, almost literally nothing at all.

I worked for four hours in the morning like I do every weekday morning. Then I came home and just sort of.. thought about things.

Actually that's not true. I didn't think about anything, very much. I was just kind of blank and empty. All day long. It was not at all unpleasant. It was cleansing and nice.

I answered a little bit of email. In the early evening I went for a walk. Didn't even notice I'd decided to do so until I was halfway up Acland Street. It was a perfect first-evening-of-summer. Lots of people out. Market stalls, for some reason. I looked at them for a bit then I went down to the beach.

Sat on the pier. Looked at the water and the sky. Felt empty. Felt very depersonalized, like I wasn't really there. Or at least, the person who was there wasn't me. I was just observing this boy staring out to sea in the third person.

Where am I? I'm in such a funny place right now. I feel very happy about a lot of things, very sad about others. In some ways I feel really burned out and dissolute but in a totally different - and infinitely better - way than I did at this time last year. This sense of dissolution has a healthy quality. It feels substantial. If that's not a contradiction. I feel satisfyingly exhausted and drained. And I feel.. like I'm a going concern, y'know? Not just an empty shell.

This year has been like running a marathon. It was always going to be. I'm pleased I made it to the end. It was touch and go there for a while. And I'm pleased with where I've ended up. Although it isn't where I expected. Wherever that was.

I've learned things this year which have changed all of the rules. So it's hard to make comparisons with the past. And that's frustrating me.

I can't write for shit right now, either, and that's frustrating me even more. Too many late nights and early starts. Too much indulgence. Too much everything. Too much, too much, too much.

I wish I could describe how it is.

Doing so would involve going to a number of places I can't go in this context, for various reasons.

But more fundamentally, all of the useable metaphors I can think of (so many of them) contradict each other and none of them really cut it.

Must.. express... self..

Gnrrnrnr..

Something's going on here. I feel like I'm pregnant. Not sure what with exactly. It might be something amazing. It might be something horrendous. It might be amazingly horrendous. It might be beautiful. It might be nothing. I don't know. We'll find out soon enough. Once I've finished destroying everything.

I'm going to read this tomorrow and want to take it down, but I won't.

Time To Die, 2005

Monday 7th of November

Was the first anniversary of my move to Melbourne. I only just realized. Time flies.

I should have celebrated. So much has happened. It has been a unique twelve months.

But I was too preoccupied with other things to even notice.

My Tuesday In Pictures

by Operative Pulat
aged 29 and 2 months

4:24am: Get up.

5am - 5:30am: Predawn emailage.

5:30am - 6am: Tram it to work.

6am-9am: Work.

9am-12pm: Participate in anti-IR reforms protest, inadvertantly exposing Operative Li Han to emotionally threatening situation.

12pm-12:30pm: Tram it back to my 'hood.

12:30pm-1pm: Grocery shopping.

1:30pm-2pm: Arrive home.

2pm-3:15pm: Bloggage, pay perilously overdue electricity bill etc.

3:30pm-5pm: Beers at Espy with P.

(He's lost his false front tooth. The effect is well scary.)

5pm-5:30pm: Haircut.

5:30pm-7pm: Home again, some emailage.

7pm-7:30pm: Tram it back into town. Camera battery dies.

8pm-9:30pm: Turns out to have been a wasted trip anyway. Come home.

9:30pm-10:30pm: Smoke bongs, curse enemies etc

11pm: Go to bed.

Wedding Invitation

My sister's wedding is on the 17th of December. I'm getting used to the idea but it still seems kind of weird. My sister can't get married; she's just a kid [*], it's ridiculous. She and her nordic beau make a lovely couple though.

I will always remember when she phoned to tell me about this, back in April - I was sat on a chaise lounge at a bar on Alexandra St in a mask, surrounded by other masked strangers, mostly playing chess with each other. The first person I told was 2ript (now in exciting new package), who I had never met in person before. Naturally at the time I didn't even know who he was.

[*] She is 26 years old; your mileage may vary.

This Is One Of Those Ones That Just Doesn't Want A Title

A couple of weeks ago - and not at all by design - I bumped into an old acquaintance from Canberra, P, at one of the supermarkets on Acland Street (I forget which one; I have been known to patronize both although these days I tend to favour the IGA on Fitzroy Street - prospective stalkers take note). He used to play the saxophone in a band, and sometimes pretends to have Tourette's Syndrome. He is going through some heavy shit right now. I like him a lot.

We had a beer on Wednesday at the Espy. Whilst I was waiting for him I chatted to my friend Gethsemane. She was a bit drunk and asked me to transcribe a postcard for her - to Operative Tenex of all people. Seems they're quite close - or were. I hadn't even realised. It's a small world.

New CAMERA!!

Photographed using old camera:

Old camera photographed using new camera:

Other gifts I have recieved:

• Amazon gift voucher from an undisclosed Neurocam Operative, with which I bought this.


• Someone made me a cake:
  


• About 60 people associated with RMIT Photography, the vast bulk of whom I did not know, sang me 'Happy Birthday'.


• I was blessed with several text messages and a phonecall from baby sis.


• And Li, for reasons best known to himself, sent me this remarkable animated gif of David Hasselhof breakdancing in what appears to be a chipmunk suit:
  

Twenty Nine Years

That's what the figures say - I double checked. But it doesn't seem to be correct.

Most of the time I feel about 20. And in some ways I feel very, very old.

But I don't feel 29. Soon I will be as old as Lady J, and she's, like, thirty.

I cannot possibly be one birthday away from turning 30.

There has to have been a mixup somewhere. That's the only plausible explanation. I'm making enquiries. I may have to call my lawyer.

Who do you sue for being erroneously 29, anyway? I'm not even sure. I hope it's someone on the Federal frontbench. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate those fucks? Ruddock, Costello, Howard, Vanstone, fucking Downer, fucking Abbott. I would pay serious money to see them all eaten by a pack of wild dogs. I really would. Cunts.

Twenty nine.

Sometimes I Grow Quite Weary

Well, I do.

More recent search hits:

• "fuck you by wesley willis"
• "fuck the ato"
• "neurocam surrealism"

(How did this wind up in my referrers?)

Jobs I would rather have:

• Suicide bomber.
• Suicide Girl.
• Companion to Doctor Who.

That reminds me; I have to go to work. I'm half an hour late!

I hate my life.

There will be no new post until Jo pulls her finger out. Go hassle her.

Advisory (& Dan Pritchard)

Posts will likely be a bit thin on the ground this week. I am feeling sick and demoralised and - just for a change - I have a stack of email that I really want to clear.

Jo is taking me to Luna Park on Thursday. It's just down the road from where I live but I've never been. We shall eat faerie floss and go on the Faerris Wheel. If it's open. Which, looking at their site, it isn't. Unless it's school holidays right now. Is it school holidays? It isn't, is it. Damn.

I've also been encouraged to attend a certain event on Friday, which should be interesting.. although I probably won't be able to say much about it.

What else? Dan "Conchis" Pritchard is drawing attention to himself again. Dunno what it's about, but it seems to have something to do with the return of the legendary Robert Henley and they're all over it on the Neuroboards.

Here are some nice bonus pics of The Magus burning which somehow got left out last time:

Goodbye, House

My sister is coming home tomorrow, and I shall be returning to my cosy St Kilda cupboard.

It's sad. But all good things must come to an end, I guess.

In other me-related news, Jojo thinks I'm great.

I Can't Keep Up This Frenetic Pace

I hosted a combined dinner party/book burning on Thursday night. I went out to the movies on Friday night. I spent all day at work fighting vigorously with baby sis via SMS and I've just been out trawling Brunswick St and drowning my sorrows with my cousin. Tomorrow night I'm doing things as yet unknown with Ben the punk rock librarian, who is down for a visit.

Then on Wednesday, there's looking to be The Neurocouncil.

I feel like Tript. The local chapter of the Recluse Society (oxymoron?) is going to be calling for my resignation at this rate.

It's good!

Exhausting, though.

PS I am becoming addicted to the Missy Higgins album. Is that wrong?

Ambitions

Someone asked me what my ambitions were the other day. I can't remember what I told them, but I should have said:

1. To work in a streetcorner newsbooth.
2. To become a cult leader by rising to the front ranks of Neurocam and then either taking it over, or creating a sizeable splinter group.
3. To write a novel, which I am doing in November.
4. To make an album, provisionally entitled "Everyone's Too Stupid", which I will do next year when I have more time.
5. To study for and obtain a degree in Creative Arts from Melbourne's premier university, guaranteeing me a colourful and lucrative subsequent career as a Creative Artist.
6. To finish reading "The Magus" by John Fowles, and then to ritually burn it.
7. To have fun and not care about people.
8. To be beautiful.
9. To be loved.

Other things I want:

• An umbrella.
• A preamping device for my microphone.
• A Bigpond Movies membership.
• A region-free DVD player.
• A better camera.
• Peter Greenaway DVDs.
• See also: Amazon wishlist.

Jonesin' & Pining

I still haven't managed to secure any weed. It's really driving me out of my mind. I don't know why, particularly. In recent times I've gone for whole months at a stretch without so much as thinking about the chronic.

It's pretty goddamn lame. Here I am in trendy, urban Fitzroy and I can't even score. I wonder how many people are getting stoned right now within a one kilometre radius of where I'm sat. Probably hundreds.

Being an isolated recluse may sound pretty sweet but it has its drawbacks.

Stupid prohibition.

I know I've been banging on about this to an extent which is probably getting somewhat tedious but it's becoming all I can think about. I'm hoping if I whinge about it enough someone'll email me and sort me out just to shut me the hell up.

I wish Toots were here. She'd know what to do. She's like a high precision ganj-seeking missile.

I miss you, Toots.

Someone else I've been missing a bit lately is a girl named Sarah. Where are you, Ms Whatever-Surname-You're-Using-These-Days? What are you doing right now, I wonder? (Sleeping, probably.) Did you get the Christmas card I sent to your mum's house in Howth? Or did the two of you finally kill each other? Are you really, as it says in your disused Yahoo profile, a wedding planner? Or was that a joke?

I asked around a bit a little while ago after a working email for you, but without success.

I really hope you are well and happy, and that you will stumble across this page by chance and get in touch.

Finally: how cool is this?

Later, bitches.

Some People Find These "Weblogs" To Be A Waste Of Time

But I don't believe in time, so it's not a concern I share.

If, six months ago, you'd told me I'd one day be using this blog as an excuse procrastinate on the execution of actual proper Neurocam business, I'd have told you to get t'fuck - but that, dear readers, is the situation you find me in this evening. It feels very odd.

I've been pimping other peoples' blogs of late; now I'm gonna pimp a kebab shop, which also feels odd. Ali Baba - an institution in my native Canberra - has just opened an outlet on Fitzroy Street and I'm so glad. I've patronised it twice already this week. I instinctively feel the urge to post a pic of the screwed-up wrapper of the first-rate chicken kebab I just consumed, but alas I have no camera anymore.

(Which is really no good, incidentally. I worry about the future of the 'Fields - for the first time since I started it I have no embryonic posts in reserve, no camera so I can't just take random pics and throw 'em up.. and Neurocam have effectively all but silenced me by way of promotion. So, if anyone has any novel ideas for posts - please, let's hear 'em.)

As fate would have it, the manager of this Ali Baba is none other than the guy who used to manage their establishment in Garema Place, where I was at one time a very regular customer. He greeted me warmly and we exchanged witheringly disparaging remarks about the Can', as is customary amongst ex-residents. It was great. All I need now is billies and baby sis (mmmmmmm..... billies....), and it would be like I never left. But, you know, in a really good way - because, in fact, I have.

Another thing I'm putting off even as I type is cleaning my flat, a process which is half-finished (the place is in complete disarray - don't see pic, not attached) and needs must be completed post haste as I am shortly to be vacating for a month. I'm gonna be housesitting for boringly-grown-up-sis from next Tuesday whilst she is away meeting her fiance's folks in Sweden.

I'll have a whole house to myself - but for Sammy - and as I was saying to the two neuroblogerati luminaries (one of whom famously described Canberra as "a nice place to die") with whom I partook of a most pleasant and interesting coffee or two earlier in the evening, I'd really love to bring Tahiti to Fitzroy and throw a bitchin' Neuroparty (would Robin Hely come, I wonder?). Confoundingly, however, I just spoke to the lady of the house and she blew this idea straight out of the water point blank, supposedly on the grounds that there is too much expensive photography equipment lying around the place.

Yeah right.

That's the last time I pimp your goddamn cruddy half-finished website, bitch.

Hmph.

(long pause)

Oh well.

Note to self: .. and a new baking dish

In other news: I am more naive than I like to imagine. People are funny.

Oh, and Josie and the Pussycats is the best movie ever. (join the army)

Long, Rambling, Vaguely Triptlike Anecdote, But With More Ethics

I just had a novel encounter with a drunken Irish girl who I met on a southbound 112 tram. She reminded me a bit of my second favourite ex (she of the revolting menstrual sex) (amongst other, less totally horrendous things). She'd lost her friends somewhere between Burke & Collins Streets and insisted on buying me drinks once we arrived in the Kilda, where she is staying in a hostel.

She was really nice, and pretty, and funny, and alarmingly flirtatious. And that is the end of the story. It could potentially have been a much more interesting story, but as part of my ongoing bid to rejoin the human race I felt like I should try and behave ethically. She was falling-over drunk and lonely and far from home and nine years younger than me, and stuff.

I didn't actually *feel* any kind of moral compulsion.. just a desire to do what a normal, non-possibly-sociopathic person would do.

Am I wrong?

I have been feeling all romanticky lately lately for some reason, which was heightened this evening by having been to see Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (incredible mess, btw.. not absolutely the worst conceivable Hitchhiker's movie - it had qualities - but they screwed it up pretty comprehensively); the chick who played Trillian (who was also the Cameron Crowe analogue's sister who runs away to become an air hostess in Almost Famous.. here she is.. her name - I shit you not - is Zooey Deschanel. She also played 'Gas Station Girl' in a movie called It's Better To Be Wanted For Murder Than Not To Be Wanted At All, which I have just added to my must-see list for the title alone) was a babe of stupendous proportions (although that was no excuse for the whole romantic subplot.. what the hell were they thinking? Then they had the audacity to dedicate it to Douglas Adams. He must be turning in his grave. Cunts. But I digress...), and I just can't figure out at all if I did the right thing or not.

I half wonder if God - who, of course, I do not actually believe in - is sighing exasperatedly down at me even as I type. "Honestly, young man.. I do my best, you know.. I really do.."

It seemed especially providential since I shouldn't actually have been on that tram at all. I left my bag behind in the cinema and only realised once I was half way home. I had to go back and retrieve it, then get a third tram south again.

It sounds like the sort of story people tell their children. The kind that's meant to be sweet and charming, but actually probably just frightens the crap out of them, confronting them as it does with the horrifyingly arbitrary, random nature of existence. "If I hadn't left my bag behind that night.. YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN" etc.

It's been a night of stuffups all round. Irish girl (she was so lovely.. sigh) misplaced her friends, I misplaced my bag, and my sister and her fiancee Martin the Swede got hopelessly caught in traffic and missed the movie. And they both left their mobiles behind, so I had no idea what had happened to them. I had visions of having to call Mum in Geneva to find out their rego number, and calling the police to see if they'd been in an accident, and them both being dead.

To be perhaps inadvisably honest, the prospect seemed quite exciting. And it would have been a fantastic excuse to blow off work tomorrow.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm not human. I'll never be human.

Next time, ethics can get fucked. So to speak.