Trysting Fields

HNY, MOTHERFUCKERS

It's on.

!!! \O/ !!!

Stuff I Did This Year

In a nutshell: systematically climbed the fuck out of hell. Again. (See previously: 2005; 2007; 2009.)

And it's good! Can't complain.

:)

"Friends - you know who you are; you know we're grateful." - Blur, 1993. (Seriously. If ever a year was about Who Your Real Friends Are, it was 2011.)

Similarly, those who have fucked me up and fucked me over this year most likely know who they are also, and possibly how I feel about this (hint: angry, bewildered and sad) - with the possible exception of the Rt Hon Lord Mayor of Melbourne Robert Doyle (note contact details), who I strongly suspect does not have any idea who I am.

(I also doubt he reads this blog. But since it just can't be said often enough I might as well take this opportunity to (re)state, for the record: Robert Doyle, you're a fucking cunt. You really are.)

The bulk of this year's SIDTY post I rendered in audio format at the coast a few nights ago. It goes into a bit more detail (although, to be honest, not all that much). Enjoy:

Vale 2011. Viva 2012.

Happy new year!

~ Occuparty ~

Saturday, 17th December.

Occupy McFarland St Treehouse aka Sarah's Housewarming

Friday, 2nd December.

Surprise K!P Gig @ The Evelyn

Thursday, 1st December.

Obligatory Birthday Party Post

Saturday, 24th September.

An epic time was, needless to say, had.

The Patrick Porter award for the best present and best guest overall goes to Kirrily. The prize for the most perverse guests goes to the Keith! Party crew - comprising on this occasion Talkshow Boy, 2-SHEE, Hot God, Gezus and entourage including Ms C. C*ulter (alias unknown) - who turned up unfashionably early, immediately occupied what would normally be the dancing room and systematically set about turning it into a chillout room. WTF. (NB: And it was *great*.)

Prize for the most long-lost-but-pleasingly-now-seemingly-regained former CH party regular goes to Vicwie. Prize for the best guest who wasn't able to attend physically but who came in essence goes, as always, to Wads. Prize for the best autographed copy of Kafka's "Metamorphosis" and best Tasweigan mafia attaché goes to Doktor Midnight aka The Dan Cross Revolution. Prize for the best drug by almost universal consensus goes to nitrous oxide.

Prize for the most gobsmacking act of delusionality - not to mention the most concerted but nevertheless pathetically unsuccessful attempt to ruin a birthday party of mine in the history of the world - goes to the profoundly fucked in the head disappointing Ms G. Rouse. Prize for the most departing housemate of three years goes to Grim$ha.

Prize for the most heroically tenacious still-recovering-from-her-own-birthday-shenanigan-the-previous-night attendee and all-round best MC-Ren-would-you-please-give-your-testimony-to-the-jury-about-this-fucked-up-incident regaliousness goes to Toots.

Special award for the mouthiest ho goes, as it generally does, to Kat (see audio, below).

Extra special thanks to, y'know, everyone else. Seriously.

(Previously; previously; previously.)

Second Day Of Spring

Handmade Thing From Nada

Gathering

Saturday, 14th May.

The first Chez Hag social event since the somewhat abortive dinner party marathon in November, and the first real party since my birthday in September.

Went off.

UPDATE (Sat 21st) - I thought no audio had been captured, but upon checking my phone this afternoon I found this recording, captured at 4:51am, of Johnny "Liable For Nothing" Coburg performing Knockin' on Heaven's Door, accompanied (IIRC) by Ford on the acoustic guitar and featuring Grimsey scatting at the very end, which is something you don't hear every day:

So I Went To A Party Last Night

At my friend Dan Cross's house.

We've known and lived around the corner from each other for about three years, but it's only this year that we've started hanging out regularly for whatever reason. It's been good.

I've been living la vida recluse of late and ergo felt severely awkward and freakish initially. But the night came extremely good in the end and did excellent things for my faith in people and awesomeness, etc.

Here's a photo I took at around 1:30am, the point at which I started to feel the full force of the awesome and was compelled to document it:

It was also at around this time that former operative Deadsoybean sent me some audio, which means that - as per a bargain we struck on January 30th - I can now send her the handmade thing she is owed under the terms of a F$&book status meme I posted a month or so ago.

(The preceding post was a picture of the first handmade thing, which was for Master Luke Hand. The next one will go to Jonathan Carfax. The one after that to the legendary Twyllan Mynodal, and the last to the artist formerly known as MC Gezus.)

Here's some audio I recorded for Carfax (starring the aforementioned Dan Cross) on the night of January 23rd, when I made Soybean's thing:

I like this audio a lot. I've listened to it over and over in late night goon stupours and it's made me happy. I don't know why. (If anyone wants me to bleep out their name, they can freakin complain.)

What else? I'm in a quandry about whether to go back to school in March or defer again. I kind of liked the idea of graduating in December 2012, just in time for the Mayan apocalypse/whatever. But when the world ends/whatever it won't really matter whether I have a whole diploma of visual art or just half of one. And that I'm so not sure suggests to me that I should save it for when I'm feeling less not-sure.

I could do it part time but that seems half-assed, and I don't really do half-assed.

Dunno.

So hungover rn omg. I'm going back to bed.

Stuff I Did This Year

My 2010 started on a high. Life was good and all the stars were aligned, etc. Unfortunately the wheels started to come off in the second quarter and the second half was an increasingly shitful and regressive abortion.

So it goes. We'll do this as many times as we have to.

Amongst other things (hosting some fairly awesome dinner parties, etc) I:

• Went to Thailand;
• Started studying art in fulfilment of longterm ambitions (alongside baby sis);
• Went part time halfway through first semester (see also baby sis);
• Reconciled with a former close associate after a long estrangement, which made me very happy;
• Got very suddenly & unexpectedly shitcanned by a then-close associate three weeks later, with the inverse effect;
• Deferred school and everything else and moped around reclusively for months doing increasingly little except thinking about everything, with increasingly hilarious consequences;
• Turned 34 24 2.0;
• Slapped myself around some for having fucked up so badly, thereby fucking things up more;
• Got a job and started to apply the breaks.

I'm not going to thank specific people Oscar-stylez like I have the last two years.

People who've been awesome: thanks. People in general: also that other thing. Seriously.

Life is improving. I think we'll be doing just fine if we relax a little.

Happy new year.

Birthday Party

Friday 17th September.

It started out as the intended convivial quiet gathering.

Suffering some uncertainty as to whether I was being terribly rude - but hey, it was my birthday, and moreover Luke forced my hand. As in literally picked me up and carried me out the door - I abandoned said gathering temporarily to go see these people play a venue down the road with a roomful of balloons at around 11pm.

(Due to a combination of behind-scheduleness and licensing restrictions, they very nearly didn't. But in the end they beat the odds - and the law - and totally did.)

Then, with a few new guests in tow, we returned to CH an hour and a bit later to find the former quiet gathering had unexpectedly hit critical mass in our absence and was comprehensively going OFF. Omg!

The universe, in effect, threw me a bitchin surprise party.

Big thanks to everybody who conspired with the universe to make it such a happy one.

Dinner Party V

Saturday 17th July.

Most fiasco-tastic DP evar! It's been a bit like that lately. I almost gave up and cancelled it. But I'm very glad I didn't, coz despite all kinds of stupid problems in the end it still went OFF.

(10:21pm; 4min 59sec)

Amongst other things, the DPP planning committee encountered considerable guestlist difficulty. Despite and at least partly because of no less than three date changes aimed at accommodating them all and genuine enthusiasm from at least some quarters, exactly none of the invitees I'd originally lined up ultimately managed to make it.

(10:55pm; 1min 17sec)

Which might have been considered a fairly abject fail - were it not for the inspiringly circus-saving company of previous-attendee legends who, in flagrant violation of DPP rules, valiantly braved the cold and brought the awse instead: Matt K (DPs I and III), Twyllan (DP II), Henley (DP III), Sarah aka The Major (DP IV), Pablo (DPP virgin), Luke (DP IV), and of course Grimsey (DPs I, II, III and IV). Fucken <3.

(12:24am; 4min 28sec)

It was an unprecedentedly structured DP. As per a preestablished order of proceedings there was soup, then salad, then pie, then the merciless destruction and defilement of an old chair that had unforgiveably given way under DP I alumnus Bourkie at CH the night before. Then, naturally, muffins.

(1:16am; 2min 26sec)

Along the way there were tears (not really); there was laughter. It was epic.

(2:34am; 2min 49sec)

:)

Friday 2nd July.

Proper CH Party

Friday 11th June.

The first oldschool stylez party we've had here since my birthday in September. Blame The DPP.

Went off.

Footage of my broken VCR/DVD player being ritually destroyed on the stroke of midnight: part 1 (42 meg); part 2, starring MYF (671 kb); part 3 (36 meg).

(My original plan was to throw it off the roof before destroying it. But unfortunately the ladder which would have facilitated this turned out to be at Toots's house. So it goes; that piece of shit still got completely annihilated. Result! etc)

Dinner Party IV

Saturday 10th April.

Starring Brendan, Duncan, Harrie, Luke, The Major, and Grimsey.

(11:11pm; 14min 12sec)

Like DP II, a relatively low-key occasion compared to DP I and DP III. (I don't know why, although I have many theories.)

(11:56pm; 4min 35sec)

All the same: went OFF.

(1:22am; 1min 22sec)

:)

Easter Camping

Friday 2nd April - Sunday 4th April.

Night Before Luke's SRC Farewell @ CH

Thursday 25th March.

With, y'know, Luke. Also starring Grimsey.

Some might argue that this audio is overlong and kind of banal in parts. I suspect even Tenex won't make it to the end this time. But I like it.

Polyphonic Spree @ The Forum

Saturday 27th February.

With G and these people.

Party In The Patch

Saturday 20th - Sunday 21st February.

(See previous.)

With Adam, Gab and Grimsey.

It was ace. Once again, got a shit-ton of audio - and once again (but even more so), it's pretty much solid gold. So instead of fretting about what to use and what not to use like I did over the DP III post, I decided to just stick it all up; fuck it.

Dinner Party III

Friday 12th February.

Starring Henley & Adele; 2003 & Danny (sans promised cheese platter, but I just can't stay mad at the guy); Lady GrimGrim & Jacqui; the fantastic Mr Kav; the ex-operative formerly known as Li Han, Blog Boy From Space (who hopefully won't object to me linking him old-school like that - because although Exaggerating Rumours is now four years old and obviously he's grown as a person since then etc blah blah, it's still genius which deserves wider exposure) - and of course Toots, who opted to turn up after everyone except Kav had gone home, because that is the way she motherfucking rolls.

Fair to say, went OFF.

No obligatory formula picture of everyone in the back garden, because for whatever reason (quite possibly because it's the way they motherfucking roll), the guests all opted to stay inside this time - a trend that, with the encroachment of winter, we were going to have to adapt to sooner or later anyway. But there's these ones.

In contrast to last time, when I accidentally deleted the audio directly after recording it, we successfully captured over sixty minutes of vox, much of it gold. Unfortunately that means I'm having a really hard time choosing clips. Maybe I'll put some up retrospectively & link back to it in a later post. We'll see.

In other news: if you happen to be in the region of the Abbotsford Convent at any point over the next week, I strongly advocate checking out the Prismatic Audit currently being undertaken there by Torie Nimmervoll & intended DP III invitee and amazing genius Jason Maling (who couldn't come, because he was too busy getting ready for the Prismatic Audit. That's okay, we'll get him next time).

I did today; it was great. I came home exhausted and collapsed at 6:30pm into some of the weirdest and most awesome dreams I've had in months. Now it's 2:30am and I'm blearly eating a pizza at Bimbo. But that's beside the point.

Where was I? Oh yeah; I'm starting school on Monday, which will be well weird. But before that I'm off to a quasi-hippy festival in a field near Schnozzie's hometown.

There will most likely be bloggage about both of these things. Until then: stay in the groove. Or, y'know, don't. It's Entirely Up To You (tm)! See if I care, blog readers. SEE IF I GIVE A FUCK.

:)

(Previously; previouslyer.)

Thailand (Three)

Bangkok, 2nd February.

HNY :)

Stuff I Did This Year

This year was all about recovery. It started out in the absolute pits of hell, slowly got better, and - a few ickle problems here and there aside, but whatcha gonna do - ended all up in unmitigated gnarley.

Result.

As per last year I feel more like talking about people than doings or accomplishments. Specifically, and without wanting to get too gushy, all the people who've helped me in all their various ways to remember what the whole circus is about. Really forgot for a while there. Fucken' sucked.

So couldn't have done it without yiz.

Thanks. Seriously.

• Mum, Dad & Jess.
• Ben.
• Despite - and partly because of - some serious difficulties, Liv (and co).
• Henley.
• On an obscure tip: Martha, Dolly, Magnus, Tim, my secret admirer, and the other Barn*by Ev*ns on Facebook.
• Li.
• Nada A.
• Nada Z (nb not technically a person, but we'll let it slide).
• Em & co.
• Kav. Georgie. Twyllan. Kinkel. Vicwie. Sims. Brendan. Zanella. The Major. Freedman. 2003 & co. And all the countless other people at/from my thankfully now-former work who are fucking awesome. But most especially them.
• Relatedly: motorscooting Keith! Party and associates - most especially Bourkie, and Carol. We don't really know Trajstman yet - but you may rest assured we intend to.
• Cel.
• Freakley.
• Mr Ad*m F*rd (not the poet), and Mr D. Allan.
• Grimsey.
• Gab, obvs, and associates not previously mentioned, especially Pets & Dech (+ Scott, Ewan, Chirsp etc etc etc).
• And last, but the exact opposite of least: Ms M. F. "prog081" Evans and associates, esp. Kat, Hayley, Fran & co, Ange & Chloe.

The admittedly sometimes finite limitations of my resources notwithstanding, these people can - at any time, and to whatever extent they may deem necessary and/or desirable - stand the fuck under my umbrella.

I'd also like to extend a really colossal, biblical-epic-stylez "fuck you" to one or two other individuals whose selfish, infantile cuntishness and astonishing lack of Vision (tm), conversely, reeeallly hasn't helped. Anyone. But I won't. It won't help. We can only have faith that in time they will grow the hearts, brains, spines and souls they surprisingly appear to lack.

Having A Soul: It's Good.

:)

Happy new year.

SRC Xmas Party

17th December.

Vale SRC. I'm gonna miss you hugely in some ways; in other ways not so much. I'll certainly miss your Xmas parties. Or maybe I'll just crash them.

The following was captured at Harrie & Atkins' house, at some point quite far into the 17-odd hours' worth of extended shenanigans.

Messy night; messy audio. But I like it.

(Previously.)

Ange's Bad '80s Beach Party

5th December.

Dinner Party II

4th December.

Needless to say, went OFF.

Some awesome audio was captured. Unfortunately I forgot to save it, because I'm an idiot. But here is the obligatory formula picture of everyone in the back garden:

Smoko

28th-29th November.

Cheers Atkins (and Coulter - who told me to go, so I did).

:)

G & Shaisty's Housewarming

13th November.

Dinner Party I

24th October.

For the Facebook-equipped, here's a link to the Dinner Party Project manifesto.

This all started the night before G's Picnic at Prudence, when - in a sudden, entirely-non-drug-induced moment of feeling like I was peaking on fucking awesome drugs - I was compelled to inform my friends Vicwie & Kav that they would, at some point in the near future, be coming to dinner at my house.

Four other superstars from my work (including the legendary Bourkie) were subsequently invited. And Toots, obvs.

It occurred. It went off.

The rest is currently in the process of going down in relational aesthetics history.

(In accordance with her wishes, all of V*cw*e's audio parts have been edited out; the excisions are marked with bleeps.)

Prudence

25th September.

I heart Prudence.

(Starring Toots, Zack & Grimsey.)

Birthday

Went off.

Admittedly not to quite the full extent of last year's - but on the upside no one wound up in hospital this time, and no string of events which will lead to me being effectively completely shut down for the best part of the coming year were set in train. Which is always good.

On the downside, my Ixus disappeared - I won't say explicitly that Wouters stole it because, however plausible, this theory can't be proven beyond reasonable doubt - so there are no pictures. But a lot of audio was captured, and it's great.

This bit is my favourite. The core of it is Grimsey asking various people if they think Facebook is dead, and Henley's impassioned rantsponse:

I've produced a full transcript of the above clip, in the vague hope that this might help others to appreciate it almost as much as I do.

And this is me the morning[*] after:

:)

[*] Morning, afternoon, whatever.

New York (Four)

With D.

New York (Three)

With Bourkie "B. Jerky" Bourke.

New York (One)

With Nada.

t.A.T.u. Was Robbed

But a good night was had in the process.

ION: I caught up with my old arch-nemesis TAFKA Robert Henley last Friday. It was great. Love that guy's work. No, seriously.

I am still not dead. Better, even.

What else? I'm going to New York next month. I'm going to Thailand in November (probably). Then I'm going to Geneva in December. I might go to Norwich also. Toots has a friend there she wants to visit, and I want to read Adam Tenex's novel which he's apparently too lazy send to me.

Adventures FTW!

Can't complain.

FTW!

It'll come good.

Yup.

Shed Party / Coburg's

Things To Be Thankful For (Seven)

Art.

Specifically: really goddamn good art.

Fuck yeah.

(Previously; elsewhere.)

Things To Be Thankful For (Five)

Bitches who know how to treat their slaves right.

One such ultrastar of an individual graced Chez Hagakure's now-vacant second bedroom last weekend whilst on an all-too-brief-and-rare visit to Teh Melbourne.

It was, as always, a total & unmitigated pleasure to accommodate her.

(Previously.)

Things To Be Thankful For (Four)

Both of these things have been mentioned before. But I'm going to mention them again. Why the hell not.

iPhones.

OMFG etc.

I have been waiting for this device since my teens. And now I have it. I'm posting from it now, natch.

It's not without its imperfections (shit camera; no Bluetooth; and, most heinously, the basic text editing function has no cut and paste, WTF; etc) but it seems churlish to complain about them.

I'm still adapting to it, but it's already changing my life significantly for the more flexible and generally better.

(Going to Canberra next weekend & really, seriously need to be emailable at any time - with full access to your archives, FTP and the web - throughout the entire period? Hey, leave your cumbersome, valuable computer at home! Wander wither you will! Life is good.)

It's almost everything it should be, and it makes me incredibly happy.

The arrival of Spring.

Feckin' YAY!!

*nods*

Things To Be Thankful For (Three)

Schnozzie.

Our relationship (whatever it is) has always been problematic and remains so in some ways. But the best ones often are.

I wish I could do a better job sometimes of making her understand how much I value and care about her.

She's been a huge force for awesomeness in my life this year. She's a legend and I fucking love her.

(Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.)

Things To Be Thankful For (Two)

Dinner parties of awesome.

And everything and everyone associated with such occasions.

Also: punching bags.

OMFG So Totally Have A Motherfucking iPhone RN

That is all.

(For now.)

Presents I Got Given

As requested. (Previously.)

• A tin of bacon & egg-themed bandaids in assorted shapes & sizes
• Some plastic flies
• A copy of Mr Nonsense
• A spliff
• A packet of Starburst Babies
• A box of hot cinnamon gum bearing the legend "OH GOD I AM SO TOTALLY WASTED" (the preceding six items all from Patrick. Frikken legend; I only gave him a - y'know, nicely wrapped - lemon from my lemon tree and made him a card for his birthday.)
• A packet of Marlboro Menthols
• A bottle of cabernet merlot
• Two sticks of Kinder chocolate
• A tin of wasabi peas (mmm, wasabi peas)
• A glass bubble with bubbles in it costing $8.75 (heh, bubbles)
• A pair of new shoes (which I desperately needed)
• The perfect bedside lamp (beautifully inscribed)
• A blindfolded trip to the Werribee Open Range Zoo - and a lovely picnic and a lovely dinner gathering - with assorted awesome peeps, from a chick who likes animals
• An M2M CD of mysterious provenance
• A photo of a train passing through rural surrounds at night that only one other person apart from the person who sent it to me has seen
• A four-and-a-half minute voicemail that I will keep for ever and ever
• 60% of an iPhone paid off over two years (which I haven't actually picked up yet, because I don't want it to be cursed by association with the world of shit that was the apocalyptic writeoff week I've just had)
• Several very nice cards
• A bottle of black nailpolish
• Another bottle of black nailpolish

These last two items are particularly timely & appreciated.

Birthday

It's certainly been a memorable one. I liked it much better than last year's.

Prize for the best party guest overall goes to Patrick. Prize for the most liable for nothing party guest is a three-way tie between Shane, The Sorcha, and, of course, Coburg.

Prize for the best party guest who wasn't there physically but came in essence goes to Wads. Prize for the most missed party absentee is a tie between Em and this chick. Prize for the best party guest who did attend physically, but who I unfortunately never actually got around to talking to is a three-way tie between Li, Kav, and The Major. Prize for the best (if maybe in hindsight somewhat regrettable) picture of a My Little Cthulhu Bunny goes to Magnus.

Prize for the most devastating headfuckery goes to my housemate & ex-fiancee. Prize for the most comically hypocritical abusive emails goes to Henley. Prize for the most awesome drunken deep & meaningful alleyway convo goes to Liv. I'm not sure what exactly to award the artist formerly known as Semi, but I suspect he deserves a prize of some kind - or that if he doesn't now, he may well before too long.

Prize for the most broken nose goes to Luke. Prize for the most blood cheerfully & unsolicitedly cleaned up as a result of a broken nose goes to Harrie. Prize for the driest one-liners (always) and best wildlife photography goes to Ramm. Prize for the best shisha lesson goes to Nichk. Prize for the heterosexual male with the most sophisticated understanding of little girls' pop music (and also the special award for getting locked in the enclosed garden off my bedroom by a psycho chick person I'm sure is lovely once you get to know her, and then being too wasted to think of calling someone to let him out) goes to Grimsey.

Prize for the best nail-painting (and best former housemate ever) goes to Cel. Prize for the best hungover breakfast-making and tidying up goes to Kat. Prize for the oldest and most enduring friend goes to Bentendo. Prize for the best anonymous benefactor goes to whoever sent me the copy of M2M's second album I found in my mailbox yesterday.

Prize for the best present (y'know, apart from causing me to be born in the first place and shit) goes to my parents.

Prize for the best sister in the entire fucking world goes to this bitch.

Prize for the best mistress (and inexpressible amounts of gratitude & love) goes to Schnozzie.

Thanks, everyone.

Happy Spring!

:) :) :)

That is all.

It's All Over

So long, the so-called Real World. It was nice knowing you. In some aspects.

ION: O. M. F. G. Why was I not told about this?! (That's what I get for not reading the news, I guess.)